Sunday, October 24, 2010

Coffee House (Jin Soo's Story)

There are many KDramas that I really like. But Coffee House is definitely my most favorite series so far.

It doesn’t necessarily mean that Coffee House is the best there is because there are many good KDrama. It simply means that I like Coffee House the most.

One of the reasons why I love Coffee House so much is because I fall in love with Lee Jin Soo its male lead. Madly, completely and irrevocably in love with him.

I’ve always had a tendency to like the ‘bad’ guy more either in the movies or novels. I love how they ignore the norms which completely bind other people and just live by their own rules.

The good guy tends to bore me to death with their goodness and predictability which is rather strange because when it comes to real life I absolutely adore the good ones and dislike the bad ones.

Anyway, back to Lee Jin Soo. No, Coffee House first, there are many reasons to love this particular KDrama. It’s refreshingly funny (hilarious in fact) with heartwarming moments as well as heartbreaking ones .

And to top it off Coffee House is perfected by a happy ending which is a must in my book of what’s constituted a good drama.

Another important note to make about Coffee House is that it breaks one of the golden rules in KDrama. The most important one: The Cinderella Rule.

People who are familiar with KDrama understand this rule very well and are lived by it. Meaning they know and expect the silly down on her luck female character to win the most handsome rich guy character.

For your information by breaking this sacred rule Coffee House has upset quite a number of people. I don’t think I've ever seen a shipper war like the one happens because of Coffee House.

Both female leads deserve to have the love and adoration of their respective fans with their endearing characters. Another reason why I love it so.

I almost missed watching Coffee House when I learnt that the one who’ll play the publisher is Park Si Yeon. I never like her. Hate her in fact. I’m so glad I give it a chance. Otherwise I would miss my most favorite KDrama!

And Park Si Yeon is great!

There’s no trace of bitchy, clingy, evil second female lead that was her trade mark. Eun Young looks just like an ordinary easy going girl next door but when the occasion calls for it she could effortlessly transform into a perfect Goddess who dazzles everyone around her with her incredible beauty and presence. Or a high powered CEO with brilliant mind and perfect interpersonal skills to win her business partners.

Now, back to Lee Jin Soo the main lead and how bad he is supposed to be to be liked by me. Well, actually he isn’t that ‘bad’ as one of the things which makes Coffee House different from other series is the fact that all its main characters are very likeable, even the most obnoxious one has somehow become adorable. While Jin Soo is…….…Jin Soo.

He’s a self centered solitary brilliant perfectionist. With a rather screwed perspective when it comes to love. His twisted point of view has compelled him to live his life in lies.

It forces him to keep a distance from the woman whom he loves more than anything else in the whole world. It makes him hurt her in order to preserve their relationship the way it is.

He is putting a cheerful carefree façade when he’s actually in pain. His attempt to act normal breaks my heart every time. Although admittedly there were times when I felt like screaming at him: ‘You fool!’, ‘How could you do that!’ but still I love him like no other.

So, as part of my eternal love for Jin Soo and my love for Coffee House I’m writing Coffee House’s story from Jin Soo’s point of view. I had posted the last half part of it on JB’s blog which by the way is a God’s gift for those who love KDrama.

The one I post here is pretty much the same. The only difference is now it starts from the very beginning with a few details being added in the later parts.

This labor of love is dedicated to everyone who loves Jin Soo and Coffee House as much as I do.


(Jin Soo’s Story)

Today is going to be one of those long and boring days where he has to put a big smile, pose and pretend to care for those who have bought his book and now want his signature on it. He never likes his fans. And there are millions of them.

If only he could be rude to those people.

The problem is he can’t no matter how much he hates them. He is cursed with this inherent inability to be rude to strangers no matter how foolish he thinks they are. And despite the fact that he doesn’t really care what others think of him, he doesn’t want them to hate him.

The only part about his profession that he doesn't like is when he has to be under the limelight. If he could be somewhere else far enough from Seoul and not doing this assignment.

A wishful thinking with these two assistants in close proximity. Wait a minute…. He managed to get away from a tighter watch than this. The traffic would help him to evade their chase. Not that he thinks they would chase him on foot in the middle of the street anyway.

Quickly, he collects his things and puts them into his bag. And he’s right. When he gets out of the car and runs to freedom both of his guards just stand next to their car in a complete shock before pleadingly calling him to come back.

Why would he run away if he comes back just because they ask him to? They might as well sit there quietly and wish him a nice day and good luck.

The day doesn’t stay nice. But his luck appears to hold as he’s actually very close to the café where he’s supposed to meet DS his friend later. Much closer than he thought when he got out of their car. Unfortunately, this café isn’t one of those that are up to his exacting standard. Everything about it is annoyingly far from tolerable.

The bell that keeps ringing with its annoying sound and the sloppy girl who does a screaming match with her ex in front of her customer, namely him and then locks herself in in the toilet – leaving him alone without his order to stand in her stead and serve her next customers – only to be caught with her pants down while doing her business are just a couple of examples.

But there’s no accounting for people taste. So he’s not going to judge DS for his. He’ll do what he asks him to do and employ this girl as his secretary.

Now, that his deal with DS has been settled he needs to make his escape. He doesn’t have much time. Eun Young is returning from the States and although she’s on the plane he has no doubt that she’ll be asking for update of his activity from her employees to make sure he doesn’t ditch his obligation.

He is pretty sure that when she hears that he’s running away she’ll blast her employees’ ears and they will step up their effort to look for him. They won't be able to find him but he’s positive that Eun Young is going to make him pay dearly for his little escapade.

But knowing all that doesn’t ruin the enjoyment of his out of town trip at all.

However, when he arrives at his apartment her message is already waiting for him. She tells him in a very cool voice that she’s going to sue him for breach of contract detailing every breach he had ever made. Then with a sharp voice she says that she’s not going to put up with his craziness any longer. She’s annulling their contract!

He freezes for a few seconds. No she can’t!

That shocking announcement is followed by a very happy and much warmer tone which was noticeably missing in her earlier sentences when she adds that she’ll win their court battle, of course. She sounds so excited at the prospect of getting rid of him that he can’t help but feeling a little bit happy too.

But, he is not happy!

There’s no way she’s going to rid him that easily. She can’t fire him. They have a contract. And it isn’t like this is the first time he did this kind of thing. She said it herself that she had always put up with his antics so she shouldn’t make a big deal out of this one either.

Still, her threat of severance makes him uneasy.

He wants to think she’s just bluffing but the thing is Eun Young always does what she said. Perhaps it’s better if he sees her now before she does anything drastic.

However, what he sees after he comes down to her office sours his mood considerably. She’s throwing a party! Already celebrating the prospect of getting rid of him!

Well, over his dead body! Despite his anger he tries to put his best cajoling smile and conciliatory tone.

‘Come on, with our relationship how come you put a law suit on me? Aren’t you going too far?’

She smiles back. Brimming with happiness.

‘Ah, our relationship. What is our relationship? Like the one stated in the contract, Party A and Party B? Employer and employee? Or……sometimes enemies? Ah, there is another one now. Plaintiff and defendant.’

Like she said she might win their battle in court so his only chance lies on his ability to change her mind. She loves best sellers. So he tries to entice her with one.

He gently tells her that she shouldn’t be angry at him because he didn’t ditch his obligation for nothing. He was on a necessary trip to look for a better inspiration for his next book.

He flies the said inspired writing her way.

But although she looks surprise for a second she refuses to be swayed and with a generous smile urges him to take his idea to another publisher.

And when he lets her know that it’s even good enough for a movie, instead of being more lenient to her star author who are bound to make millions of dollars for her, she takes his synopsis that has strategically landed on top of her cake, crumples it and puts it into her champagne glass while wishing him a good luck with whichever lucky publishing company he goes to.

He can’t believe she actually does that to his only copy!

‘If you’re going to start with this law suit then I’m going to file one too. Destruction and disposal of a very valuable synopsis!’

Totally unimpressed she smirks.

‘Oh, my! So, you’ve managed to come up with that one thing, writer Lee. Congratulation!’

Seething with rage he left her to continue with her celebration. This isn’t really happening! He needs time to calm down and think of a new strategy.

Fortunately for him Eun Young changes her mind later that night. She gives him a six months deadline which he has to comply no matter what. No more mercy if he screws that up too.

The boss is throwing her weight around.

Although he’s glad that she doesn’t fire him he’s still pique because of her aborted attempt to do it and doesn’t feel like writing anything. But he knows that he has to start working right away otherwise if he misses his deadline she’ll do what she says.

When his new secretary SY who he has forgotten comes he is reminded that he’s promised DS to hire her. He never has a secretary before but this one will make no difference as she has to do nothing but sharpening his pencils and making his coffee.

He’s just finished informing her that he’ll pay her on daily basis if that’s okay with her when Eun Young drops by to talk about a few details.

She appears casually as if they didn’t have a big fight yesterday and he accepts her presence just as easily. His anger at her attempt to fire him has disappeared. He could never stay angry with her because the sight of her always brings these emotions he doesn’t want to acknowledge.

So, when she familiarly grabs his hand and pulls him away with her he tries to pretend that what she does is nothing special. That he doesn’t notice the simple touch of her hand on his arm. That he isn’t glad that they are quite close for her to do that familiar act with ease.

When he returns to his apartment after their talk once again he has forgotten that he has a new secretary. He becomes aware of her existence only when he finds out that she can’t do her only two tasks.

And as he’s used to solitude the sound of her typing bothers his concentration, so he gives her another task that necessitates her to go and summarize a book at the café downstairs.

She can do whatever she likes with her time. As long as she doesn’t bother him. All he has to do is giving her DS’s money on daily basis for the next six months.

Everything works just fine, his life goes on as usual until one night half drunk she barges into his apartment demanding to know why he hires her if he doesn’t even approve what she did for him.

He guesses she saw him throwing away her pencils and coffee and now with the help of a few drinks she has gathered enough guts to demand an answer. Why didn’t he just tell her he didn’t like her coffee and her pencils so she could do something about it. Or why he didn't just fire her.

His opinion of her intelligence which is not very high takes a sharp plunge and his suspicion of her brain power is confirmed when she asks him the most stupid and ridiculous question he’s ever heard of. He’s so shocked that he could only stares at her.

'Do you like me? Did you fall for me at the first sight?'

How could she possibly think he loves her? What did he do to deserve that suspicion? And it’s an insult to his integrity as a man. Not to mention his taste!

He’s planning to keep it as a secret but it’s impossible now. He couldn’t let this girl continue working for him while entertaining such thought. So, he tells her why he hires her as his secretary.

That there’s no romantic reason and improper intention behind his offer. He had to pay DS her senior which happens to be his junior $ 8,000 for doing some work for him, but DS told him to give that money to her. And that’s why he hires her.

As he finishes his explanation he quickly ushers her out of his apartment hoping to find peace and get back to work.

But she bangs his door once again this time she wants to know why he didn’t give her any other chores. Goodness! This is why he doesn’t like dealing with far from smart people. They need every simple thing to be explained lengthily.

How could she not process the fact that if she couldn’t even get his approval for doing those two simple chores he gave her, there’s no way she’s going to get it for a more difficult tasks?

Well, she asks for it so he lets her know that he didn’t give her another chore because she wouldn’t be able to get his approval. He has a very high standard. More than she could ever imagine. He’s not like other ordinary man she knows who would accept anything that comes their way. He settles only for the best. Or nothing at all.

He’s rather amused when she says with conviction that she’ll try to match his taste. Unfortunately, being what she is there’s no way she could do that no matter how hard she tries.

Trying to be polite he simply says: ‘No, you can’t’.

But she doesn’t want to be spared and insists to know why. His intention to be kind is evaporating with her insistence. He starts to feel annoyed. So he tells her the truth that since the first time he set his foot in her café he has a very low opinion of her. Everything about that café and her is so far below his standard. She’s just an amateur. While he only deals with professionals.

He can see from the way she apologizes that although she’s still a little bit drunk she’s finally understood what he’s said. That happens quite often to silly people. They insist to know things but when they know those things they couldn’t take it.

To soften the blow he offers her a cup of coffee and let her know that she could pick another book to read if she doesn’t like the one he chose for her.

Despite the blow, her drunken state and her far from bright mind she seems to start to get an idea of how difficult he really is when she watches the way he makes his own coffee. When she asks him in wonder whether he always makes his own coffee like that he lets her know that he likes coffee but nobody could make one that suits his taste therefore he learns how to make it himself.

There’s no need to mention that another reason why he learns to make coffee by himself is because he couldn’t ask the only person who could make one that suits his taste perfectly to make it for him.

You couldn’t ask your boss to make your coffee now could you? Particularly not when she’s far from pleased with you. In his case that happens quite frequently because of his penchant to ditch his PR tasks. Or simply because he feels the need to make her angry at him.

This time however, when she storms into his apartment seething with rage it is not his doing. Although part of it was probably because she’s offended that he hung up on her when she called him a moment ago while he’s in the middle of a rather complicated plot and tried to focus on his writting.

Angrily she picked the phone which he had thrown into the rubbish bin. And regardless of the fact that she chooses to call him Mr. Writer instead of calling him by his name, she freely throws angry words at him.

He doesn’t need to look at her to see how angry she really is. She bristles and fumes with it. With a long standing familiarity she criticizes him for being polite and minding his manner only when he’s with those who aren’t close with him. In other words he’s being rude and mean to her.

Too bad for her that to him everybody else is just a stranger, therefore he has to be polite to them for his manner is the only thing they’ll see from him. They would know nothing about him beyond that polite facade he lets them see.

But Eun Young is different. She knows him too well.

He needs to create another façade for her. To put a screen to her knowledge of him. To cloud her opinion of him. To mislead her of his true feelings. For there are things that he doesn’t want her to know. Ever.

But he also knows her well.

Coming here like this venting her anger at him is out of ordinary. She doesn't normally loose her composure like this. Most of the time she pretty much leaves him alone and never even bothers to see him in person. And she never takes issue with how badly he behaves. At least not too much.

Now when she finally sits beside him he could see how upset she is. So much so that she tells him he should at least listen to her when she wants to talk to him because she’s the CEO of this company, his boss.

It’s very unlike her to stress up the status of their working relationship. So he asks her what’s happened to make her vents her anger at him a poor writer who only tries his best to work hard in order not to be sued and dragged into court.

She isn’t pleased by what he said nor amused by his joking manner. He can hear disappointment in her voice when she wonders whether he would listen to her at all if she’s not his boss.

And then her ire when she complains how could he just forget that they’ve known each other for over ten years and not even spare her a few seconds out of his precious time.

Not to disappoint her low opinion of him and because he loves this picture of himself – that he’s completely indifferent to her problem – he purposely reminds her that she’s the one who not long ago described their relationship as party A and party B, employer and employee, plaintiff and defendant, or sometimes even enemies.

But she looks so troubled and disheartened that he could no longer pretend that he doesn’t care. Because he does. A lot. However, when he asks what’s bothering her and making her so mad she’s no longer in the mood to confide.

And he can see that although she doesn’t like hearing that she’s bothering him her writer with her problem she’s actually agree with what he said. Meaning she isn’t going to bother him with it.

Now he really wishes that he took her call when she called him and doesn’t pretend indifference. Eun Young never asks for help from anybody. She’s more than capable to handle any crisis that come her way all by herself without so much as blinking an eye. For her to be in this state, something extraordinary must have happened.

He wants to know all about it. Like for instance why she’s holding those flowers. His question makes her jump as if she’s holding a very poisonous snake and not an expensive bouquet.

With utter contempt and disgust she throws those beautiful flowers into a rubbish bin and then stomps on them. It’s good to see that her temper is directed at something else besides him.

He’s planning to find out what exactly happens to upset her so. But there’s another person who’s also mad at him and diverts his attention.

DS calls and sulks when he found out that his junior didn’t come to work this week after he told her why he hired her. He insists that he has to rehire SY no matter what and give the money to her because he isn’t going to take his money back.

Left with no other choice he goes to that horrible café to look for SY. Who would have guessed that by coming to that far below standard café in search of his far from bright secretary he has to endure so much pain.

First, she falls on top of him from the rooftop. Possibly breaking his back judging by the way it stops him from moving directly. Then, he has to deal with her family!

They would drive any sane man crazy within an hour! The only bright side of the whole ordeal is that their brain power isn’t something to talk about either. Thus making it easy for him to leave DS’s money with her grandma and gets the hell out of there as soon as he can.

Unfortunately, he isn’t fast enough because SY runs after him and tries to stop his taxi. Pleading to be rehired as his secretary with a promise to be the best secretary ever.

No matter how many times he tells her that she can’t be his secretary because she won’t be able to fulfill his standard the silly girl just keeps going on and on about trying her best.

As if perseverance alone could overcome any obstacles. But in this instance it works because she wears him down with her insistence.

Painful as it is he’ll endure her presence as his secretary just like he endures the pain in his back now. It isn’t broken after all but he can’t sit in a normal posture for awhile.

When Eun Young sees the way he sits she tells him he looks like an old man and quickly brightens up when he informs her that his back is hurt. She even says that it’s a good way to start a day.

Very evil of her to be happy because of his misfortune, but it suddenly reminds him of her very bad mood yesterday.

However, when he asks her what really happened yesterday she scoffs at his attention and tells him to stop pretending that he cares otherwise she would start to believe that he actually does.

When he tells her that he really wants to know she brushes it off impatiently. He might press the issue further if her attention isn’t caught up by SY who comes to work.

She finds it strange that he’s willing to rehire that girl. She doesn’t buy his explanation that he rehires SY because he wants to help her to become a pro.

Eun Young might not know about his deal with DS but she’s well acquainted with his temper and mood’s swing once he starts writing. Accusingly she says;

'Are you becoming stressed now that you've started writing again?'

He can see that her sympathies automatically go to SY who she calls his sacrificial lamb. Yeah, poor SY who insists to be his secretary without knowing what’s in store for her could probably be described as sacrificial lamb.

With an evil glare Eun Young gives him a warning for being mean to his poor new secretary.

'You know waht, you're evil to the core. You will go to hell.'

Well, SY asks for it. Begs for it. Eun Young shouldn’t feel sorry for her.

Sitting and talking freely like this is very pleasant, it's one of a few heavenly moments that he cherishes. He’s about to agree with her that the day is going to be a great one, when out of the blue he hears a familiar voice he wishes never to hear again shouting his name. And then follows by a familiar face he never wishes to ever see again in this life time.

That bastard JW has come back!

Hearing he’s working next door is like hearing the plague has come to his door. No wonder Eun Young just lost it yesterday! He fully sympathizes with her. Her bad mood which comes the moment JW shows his unwelcome face dissolves into a happy laugh when he tries to mimic JW’s cheesy salute right after he left.

At least for a moment she could forget that bastard has come back as if nothing ever happened. Like he didn’t make the greatest mistake a man could ever make towards the woman he professed to love.

But things aren’t going to be easy.

JW could be as stubborn as a mule with a hippo’s skin. His intrusion into Eun Young's life is a very telling sign of his intention. He’s afraid that he’s going to be dragged into their fights. Because no matter how stubborn and thick skin JW is Eun Young isn’t going to welcome him. She isn’t going to forget and forgive.

This is really not good! Damn JW! Why did he have to come back?!

Fortunately, having a secretary – particularly one who isn’t too bright like SY –is really for his advantage. She becomes a great stress reliever. Although a little bit wary she follows his various order like a real trooper.

She only voices a concern over whether she still has to follow his order if it borders on sexual harassment. Sexual harassment! Hah!

He firmly tells her that that’s one thing she would never have to worry about him.

Unfortunately, just when he thinks his luck is better than Eun Young who is being pestered by JW while he gets to amuse himself with his secretary, it quickly changes when he almost hits her when she’s rushing out of her office into a cab – in her mad dash to avoid JW – leaving him who has no prior notice that the bad news in coming. Until he comes face to face with that bastard who comes to look for her.

As a result he has further bad luck of replacing her to accompany him to lunch. The things JW says during lunch almost makes him gag and drives his blood pressure up to the sky.

This bastard will drive Eun Young crazy with his crazy notions. And if she’s going to be crazy he’s afraid that he’s definitely going to be crazy as well. He’s terribly afraid that things are going to change when he doesn’t want things to change!

Amongst all the unbelievable things that JW’s utters there’s one sentence that he hates the most. The part where JW relays that he’s not going to make the same mistake he made, and that he must have a lot of regrets now.

Yes. He does have a lot of regrets! But it’s something that even he himself never wants to admit. How dare this bastard talk about it like that?!

He might be a great author but what nobody knows is that he’s also an accomplished pretender and a good liar. Therefore, he’s pretty sure that nobody knows his dark secret. Not even when he turned that secret into one of the best suspense novel ever written.

Despite what JW says he refuses to take it as an indication that he really knows what happened then. If Eun Young doesn’t even have a clue about it there’s no way JW would know!

But hating JW as much as he does he’s still left with no choice but to aid him to have dinner with Eun Young.

When Eun Young receives his call she does find his call and invite pretty strange because he’s never done that before. Unfortunately, no matter how desperately he tries to clue her in that something is wrong she’s too hungry and too pleased with his out of character act to notice it.

He can feel her resentment when she realizes that she’s been trapped the moment she opens the door and see JW inside of the car. Then her anger when she calls him a traitor. Well, he tried to warn her!

However, despite Eun Young’s obvious anger towards him JW somehow notices that they’re actually very close and wonder why it is so. When he tells him that they need to join forces in the face of an outsider he doesn’t even get it.

'What? Who's the common enemy? North Korea?'

Then at the incredulous look on their faces he rectifies it.

'Ah! You're talking about Al Qaeda!'

He knows JW isn’t stupid but the way his mind works is just so unbelievably and inexplicably illogical that he can’t help but irritably asks Eun Young why did she ever let herself be engaged to that guy.

Just as irritably she tells him that she got engaged to JW because she was immature and besides he was the one who introduced him to her!

He was also immature then. If she only knows what his own immaturity has cost him. No, he isn’t going to go into that direction! These two should finish their own problems without his interference!

As he jumps ship or in this case car when the traffic light turns red and runs for his life he can hear Eun Young’s angry voice and her outrage as she curses him. She can curse him all she likes but there’s no way he is going to get involved in their messy fight.

He knows that there’s a very big chance that he’s going to be involved anyway, but as long as he can keep his distance he’s going to try it.

His secretary will keep him amused and away from these unpleasant thoughts and prospect. She might not have the brightest brain there is but her perseverance would probably put her on the top of the list of the most perseverance people list if there is one.

He starts his fun by dispatching one silly task after another. And she finally manages to impress him with her last task.

Who would’ve thought that after failing to pass a domestic cat for his approval she’s going to bring him an endangered feline caught with her own two bare hands fresh from the jungle!

When he tells her that it’s not a wild cat but a domestic one she becomes so frustrated and angry that she tells him that she would take her clothes off and dance naked if this one isn’t a wild cat!

So, off they go to a vet who quickly verifies that this one is not a wild cat. She runs like her butt is on fire without listening to his last sentence saying that this kitty is one of the endangered species. A very wild feline indeed.

She accomplished her task successfully, and he gets to see the silly girl dances naked for her trouble!

Not that he really wants to see her naked dance. He just wants to see how far the foolish girl is willing to go for she did once ask what if his order borders on sexual harassment and he did tell her that she has nothing to worry about that from him.

But perhaps he is the one who should be worried about getting a sexual harassment from her as the silly girl is actually quite willing to take her cloth off for him!

If Eun Young doesn’t choose that moment to come knocking at his door he might come up with a new scheme to further torture his far from bright secretary. This time with nothing remotely close to making her undress.

But running away from Eun Young is more important than amusing himself at his secretary’s expense. There’s only one reason for her early visit. And he doesn’t want to hear what she has to say about his betrayal or how he completely ruined her dinner.

Unfortunately, although he manages to escape hearing it from Eun Young that bastard JW has succeeded in sneaking into his apartment, with the help of his clueless secretary, to tell him all about last night plus his future plan to win Eun Young back by using her upcoming birthday party as his new device.

Where on earth does he get this idea that they’re buddies?

He gets a chance to escape from JW’s clutches when SY’s mobile rings. But even from the next room he can still hear what that bastard says to his secretary. He could hear how he insinuates to the fortunately his far from bright secretary that the reason he employs her is because she’s young and he wants to make her his play thing!

As if besmirching his character behind his back like that is not enough the bastard has to mention the fact that he was married once before getting a divorce. This subject is a sore one. It hurts even now.

As JW leaves to attend to his business call he angrily warns his far from bright secretary to remember that bastard’s face and never allowing him into his apartment again!

He could feel the dark clouds are approaching, darkening his mood and threatening to bring him back to that dark place where he used to be. But he’s not going to let that happens. He has work to do. Eun Young is going to kill him if he fails to deliver his book on schedule.

With that as a reminder he quickly gets thing going. He takes his secretary to the shopping mall and bought her clothes to get her measurement, before buying a luggage that could accommodate her body. Things work rather well.

Meaning he could successfully stuff her into that luggage and is right in the middle of trying to find out whether she could make a call if it’s closed when her crazy family decides to drop by without notice!

To his horror no matter how hard he tries he couldn’t drag her out of that luggage, her body won’t budge. To make matter worse her mobile rings just in time to clue her family in on her where about when he already told them that she went out!

They may be far from bright but they are not that stupid either not to be alarmed when they see SY is stuffed inside a luggage like that. He’s in a big trouble! The problem is he couldn’t see a plausible way out for himself.

And then to make matter worse Eun Young comes!

At first he doesn’t want her to see the mess he’s created. For a moment he forgets that she’s a pro at cleaning up his mess.She might not like him much at this particular moment but he’s still her writer. So after assessing the damage she quickly spins her own story to entertain his suspicious guests.

He suspects they’re blown away by her status as the CEO of the company not to mention the undivided attention she lavishes on them. And while they’re still in awe she efficiently sends the whole lot of them on their merry way.

When they’re finally alone she cheerfully demands his thanks for saving his reputation. Although in all honesty she admits that she did that only because of their contract, for she actually wants to see how his million female fans run away screaming with fear when they hear that their favorite author is actually a psycho.

He grumpily asks her to leave but she refuses to go without getting a cup of coffee and thus make herself at home while waiting for that cup. The telephone rings while he’s preparing their coffee so she picks it up.

It turns out that the call is from his secretary’s father who after having some quiet moments a way from Eun Young’s dazzling charms, regains his thoughts and wants to confront him about the whole luggage incident.

Eun Young looks excited at the prospect of him getting berated by an irate father. Dreamily she imagines him being sued for ill treatment of his employee. They could hear SY argues with her fathe while trying to get him off the phone.

Thanks to grandma who just puts the phone away instead of ending its connection, as they sit side by side they could listen to the whole conversation between SY and her father.

The only good thing he hears about himself is that they all agree he’s very good looking, beyond that they mostly argue about how crazy he really is. Eun Young is highly amused for although she often calls him names but this is the first time she hears other people saying bad thing about him.

Teasingly she asks him whether his secretary will show up tomorrow against her father’s order who forbids her from working for a crazy writer.

With conviction he tells her that his secretary will definitely come because she’s very foolish. Which is a good thing because she works for him. Only foolish people will do the things he tells her to do.

Yes, there are some advantages of having a secretary, even one who serves you a horrible coffee. You could tell your secretary to come first to whatever occasion you’re supposed to attend to but don’t want to. Like Eun Young’s birthday party!

He knows he has to come to her party but he hates birthday party. And so is she for that matter! But her employees are harassing him to come. So, SY should go first in his stead. Her presence would at least placate some of his female fans who are bound to be there.

He’ll come later when everything is practically over. That way he doesn’t have to see or hear things he doesn’t want to see nor hear.

But then that bastard JW calls to whine about how badly Eun Young treats him. It prompts him to see how bad things really are. Not because he’s worried about JW! He needs to know how badly JW’s plan is affecting Eun Young.

And despite his dislike for this kind of celebration he still has to come. It’s her birthday after all. However, when he arrives at the festivities Eun Young is no longer there. Neither does JW.

He ends up going back to her office looking for her and unknowingly hits JW who’s about to leave with the door he opens. That bastard sprawls on the floor without moving. At first he’s afraid he actually kills JW before realizing that he’s just completely wasted. But when he turns to look at Eun Young..... There are tears in her eyes and he could still see the wet traces on her face!

That damn bastard! How dare he makes her cry!

Eun Young is far from weak. And she hates weak female the most. So, understandably she tries to cover it by being angry at him for purposely coming late to her birthday party and for not bringing her any present at all and then at JW for showing his unwelcome face here.

When he hears how fervently she wants JW to disappear from her life he suddenly gets an idea.

Just like Eun Young he also wants to get rid of JW. He hates him for what he had done to her all those years ago. Unfortunately, back then he never had a chance to do anything about it. Now, that bastard has done it again! But this time he’s going to pay for what he did big time!

Lightly, for he doesn’t want to betray how dead serious he is about what he’s going to do he asks her whether him sending JW away could be counted as her birthday present.

He’s going to replace her tears with a happy smile when she sees what he’s done to JW who dares to make her cry on her birthday!

The next morning when they sit together on the porch he tells her that her birthday present is coming.

Her gratitude when she sees what he did to JW – who when he gets out of the cab looks extremely ill groomed with strong cow’s dung odor – gives him a little pause. It’s served as a very poignant reminder of how successful he really is in making her feels that he doesn’t care about her at all.

To maintaid that image - for she should never find out that he'll do anything for her - with an easy smile he tells her that if she likes sequel he’s going to give her one.

She doesn’t have to know what he is going to do to JW. But that bastard JW is going to get it. His punishment isn’t finished yet. He's the type who takes revenge seriously.

His sidekick namely his not too bright secretary follows all his orders blindly. While he convinces JW that Eun Young’s stalker is the one who dumped him in the middle of nowhere. And of course not his trusted self who instead of sending JW home when he passed out asked a taxi driver to drive him off to a very remote place (a country of sheep and cows).

And now he is also trying to convince JW that this stalker is the one who gives him another hellish nightmare by parking his expensive car in the middle of construction site while putting the car key inside of an ice block.

When he sees the weird looks on his secretary face when she finds out the results of all the errands she did, he lets her know that hating someone is easy but plotting revenge is definitely not. Particularly if you have to use your brain to create a brilliant plot. Successful revenge takes time, money and some effort.

Not that he thinks his simple secretary will ever need this lesson. You need to feel deeply and passionately enough about something to embark on this dark journey. And mean enough to enjoy the suffering of your victim. She lacks both.

He on the other hand not merely enjoys JW’s suffering, he rejoices in his confusion regarding the whole mysterious chaos that disrupt his life. And he garners immense satisfaction in that bastard adherence to his counsel.

He loves the way JW faithfully listens to his every word when he tells him not to bother Eun Young for several days. Meaning not to call or text her on daily basis like he used to do or shows his face in her office and coffee shop, otherwise that stalker might do what he says in his warning letter. If JW persists to be around her he’ll ice JW in a giant ice box like what he did to his car key!

Yeah, he also sends a threat note to that bastard.

And to top it off he successfully stops that bastard from reporting his misfortunes to the police while warning him not to mention it to Eun Young for it might scares her to death.

And the fact that JW believes that Eun Young will be scared shows how little he really understands Eun Young.

The fact that his plans work so perfectly is a confirmation of his bright evil mind.

His secretary on the other hand finally gets to see his mean side being directed towards someone else besides herself.

When he asks her whether she finally decides that he’s gone crazy she tells him that she’s just glad that she isn’t that stupid after all, because JW also falls victim to his dirty works.

Well, that’s arguable but he lets her go with that comforting thought.

Her lack of brain power helps him to get some free time to wallow in the dark mood that used to come whenever he’s in the middle of his writing and got stuck. And he also has trouble sleeping. He has nothing to write but he couldn’t give his eyes a much needed rest.

Usually, he could force himself to sleep for a few hours after the wee hours but because of some faint noises that he could hear from his bed he couldn’t.

He has some suspicion as to the sources of those noises but there’s no way he’s going to confirm it himself. However, it’s a perfect job for his secretary.

When he calls her she obediently comes and starts her mission of finding the sources of the noises that have prevented him from sleeping.

He can tell that she has succeeded when he no longer hear them and finally find some peace.

But, his peaceful sleep doesn’t last long. The cleaning lady rings his bell with a bad news. His foolish secretary has fallen down the stairs and severely injured herself and has gone to the hospital for admittance!

He doesn’t know how to describe his feelings because he is inundated with so many emotions all at once. The words severe injury and hospital admittance are messing with his mind and causing him to lost control of his equilibrium.

The thought that he has caused her injury while she’s done nothing but helping him to keep his sanity drives him nut. He couldn’t imagine what he would feel if something bad really happens to her. He needs to know that she’s all right. That she’s fine. That he isn’t the reason for her being hospitalized.

That he doesn’t use her and make her hurt. That this isn’t his fault! Not again!

Eun Young who comes to check up on him as soon as she arrives from her out of town trip because she’s worried about things which SY must have told her becomes perplexed by his nervous state.

He’s glad she’s here right by his side but he can’t talk about how upset he is because of SY’s accident.

He can’t talk about it to anyone and particularly not to her. Nevertheless, hearing her calm voice, offer of help and reasonable suggestion to look for SY while he can barely think straight finally helps to ease some of his anxieties.

Driving along together looking for news of SY comes natural. They’ve done this before. Fortunately, they don’t have to wander long before they see SY who is coming to the office after hearing his frantic phone message.

His relief at seeing she’s actually quite all right is so great, that he’s finally able to feel his exhaustion after staying up all night waiting for news of her where about and well being. He needs to catch up with his lost sleep now so he orders SY to go home and take a rest for the rest of the week. But then he changes his mind.

Now seeing that she’s quite all right he wants his stress reliever and personal amusement tool to be available just in case he needs her to amuse himself. Without her around it’s going to be very dull and quiet. Despite her foolishness or perhaps exactly because of that she becomes perfect for her job as his secretary.

And she has succeeded in giving him a chance to get some sleep no matter how short. Finally, a job well done.

As it turns out, perhaps he shouldn’t praise her too soon because his foolish secretary is really beyond just foolish.

She doesn’t even have enough sense to know who her real boss is and obeys Eun Young’s order to step on his domino’s structure when she finds out that he’s back at it again. Yes, he has tons of bad habits when he writes.

Playing with his domino is another thing that he always does whenever he’s stuck.

He’s been laboring very hard to build that long trail and his stupid secretar dares to destroy it! He doesn’t care if she did it because of Eun Young. He knows Eun Young is hard to disobey when she gives order.

But SY is his secretary! She has to be loyal to him. She shouldn’t listen to anybody else particularly not when she knows that their order isn’t to his liking.

He is beyond angry.

'You are bad at everything! And now you can't even remain loyal to me?! Don't you even know which side to stand on in order to survive?!

He decides to fire her because of her disloyalty and lack of common sense. To drive his message home he advises his dense secretary that she could go to Eun Young now for her next employment fully knowing that Eun Young has no need to hire her.

And when Eun Young comes to assess the damage she’s done – which is rather surprising because he would have thought that she wouldn’t feel any responsibility at all to what happens to SY after following her order – he tells her to take SY because he’s fired her.

He also takes the chance to criticize her bad deed of turning his secretary into her spy and a betrayer while he’s at it.

He could see that Eun Young feels bad about SY’s predicament but she directly tells SY she can’t hire her because she has no need for her.

But for SY’s benefits she does try to nudge him to reconsider his decision while his foolish secretary is waiting expectantly hoping for miracle to happen. Not knowing that once he decides to do something he’ll generally do it.

Nor does she know Eun Young that well to know that if she really wants something Eun Young won’t stop with a mere nudging. She could use her power to simply order him to rehire his secretary had she really wanted him to rehire SY. Or if she thinks he fires his secretary for real.

She knows that he just wants to show how angry he really is to his secretary. And she knows him well enough to play her part in front of SY, to give him chance playing his tough employer with no mercy role to the fullest.

Although after his silly secretary departs she complains that after this his secretary will never ever listen to her again in the future. And then almost in the same breath she reminds him to call his secretary back for she probably cries all the way home now.

That’s where they differ. Eun Young could be mean. She could be tough. But deep down inside she has a soft heart. She cares about other people’s feelings too much. Which is probably her one and only weakness.

He firmly tells her that he isn’t going to call his secretary because if he does, he’ll waste the whole lesson he’s trying to teach her. She’s too stupid to understand the golden rule that she needs to know without being taught. There’s no other way to teach her but the hard way.

He’ll let her cry for at least three or four days before calling her. But then, his incompetent secretary manages to surprise him with a pencil she sharpened which he has been using to write. Another job well done. He’s so excited that he almost calls her back immediately before deciding against it. He’ll let her cry for a full day.

But to his surprise she comes back before long. He’s ready to be magnanimous before he finds out who his stupid secretary brings along with her!

He tries to close the door back but the outrage JW quickly goes for his throat. It’s clear that he finally realizes who is behind all the bad things that happened to him and now wants his blood for it.

‘I just fired you and here you are taking revenge immediately. You’re really something.’

Grimly he scolds his dumb secretary who just realises her mistake and is getting scared now seeing how vicious JW is. She tries to tell him that she brings JW along because he told her he’ll help her talking to him because he’s known him for a long time.

Angrily he reminds her didn’t he tell her to remember JW’s face and never to open the door for him? Didn’t he tell her that that bastard is no friend of his? Didn’t he just fire her because she listened to and spied on him for Eun Young?

Now, not only she listens to JW she’s also taking her revenge by bringing that bastard to box him silly! There’s no way he could win against JW who once won a pro boxing competition!

But there’s no way to escape from this torture either. His head hurts thinking of a possible way to run away from the boxing ring. He has to take a few punches from that bastard before finally deciding he has enough and pretends to be unconscious.

However, having far from smart secretary has been showing its downside in a major way today.

In her attemps to revive him his stupid secretary decides to give him mouth to mouth which effectively destroys his pretense for he couldn’t just lie there and endure her disgusting shocking treatment!

JW who already left comes back with a vengeance.

If Eun Young doesn’t come at that precise moment to strangle JW hence putting a stop to his madness then quickly stand in front of him to protect him from his murderous rage he might end up dead for real!

His body hurts all over yet his foolish secretary still dares to ask him why he didn’t put a real fight instead of choosing to do his fake fainting!

Then out of the blue she questions his motive for doing all those things to JW.

Where on earth does his far from smart secretary get this idea? Curtly, his tells her that he did everything he did because he doesn’t like JW.

When Eun Young comes to see his condition and apologizes for his ordeal he tells her that if she came five minutes later he wouldn’t be able to see the sun tomorrow. He knows that she’s genuinely concern but she also seems rather strange for she mostly focus on warning him to ignore whatever JW says.

Despite their long friendship and his knowledge of her which by the way is quite impressive there are still times when he couldn’t figure out what exactly is on her mind.

And there are also times when he couldn’t escape her manipulation.

Trust her to shamelessly use their visit to a funeral home to squeeze in several business meetings in which he has to greet and meet several big guys. He hates this thing particularly if it drags out for hours and hours like it always does.

These kiss ass meetings turn out to be just the same. Just as boring and excruciating as all others, that he almost forgets that he’s left his secretary outside the funeral home because she wears the most inappropriate pink dress one could possibly wear to such occasion.

They are already half way to another appointment when he remembers that.

Eun Young is naturally surprised when he asks their driver to turn around to pick his secretary near the hospital where he ordered her to wait for him without moving an inch. But, although she chastises him for forgetting his own secretary she can’t allow their driver to turn around as another big guy is already waiting for them.

Instead, her assistants will pick his secretary right after.

When they finally return to their place he feels so exhausted but still worry because there's no news about his silly secretary.

Eun Young who never has a liking for a weak female starts dumping SY into damsels in distress category. The one who does nothing but says help and then waits for a guy to rescue her.

This is unfair to SY who is although far from bright couldn’t be categorized as helpless. So, he sharply asks her what have those annoying females done to her to make her hate them so.

Not that he thinks those weaklings could do anything to her for if they dare to mess up with her, Eun Young would probably make those brainless females cry for help for real.

He could understand her dislike for those females a little, when she tells him that it’s simply unfair for some women to get things easily with the help of some guy while others have to work hard to get where there are.

He lets her know then not to worry because he isn’t one of those guys who rush to help damsel in distress. He’ll never help them even if they ask him to.

Except for one damsel who could always count on him if she ever needs his help. Which as it is probably never going to happen. However, life is full of surprises.

One of her assistants calls him to ask about her instead of telling him about his secretary which is rather strange. If Eun Young needs help why would she calls someone else who’s far away when he is exactly here with her?

The answer is quite obvious once he opens her door.

His shock at seeing the view behind that door blocks everything else. It takes a few moments for his wits to come back and his concern to overcome other feelings. Cautiously he asks her how bad her injury is and whether he needs to call 119.

When she tells him she needs a towel first he quickly moves to fetch it then covers her naked body with it.

As he looks at her still form lying on the floor he’s so overcome by worry that he tries to assess her injury just by looking. This is so awkward and embarrassing. However, her chosen method to deal with this awkward situation doesn’t help at all.

She lets him know that his face turns completely red. Then she decides that it must be the affect of seeing her flawless perfect figure. Then quite innocently commenting on his shaking and panting when he carries her to bed are because he lacks exercise.

Well, this game could be played by two. He quickly retorts that his shaking is because she’s no light feather. Into which she replies with another compliment about her own perfect figure which doesn’t even have an ounce of fat, just tone muscles.

This is really embarrassing!

To stop her from further embarrassing both of them he lets her know that she has chosen the wrong method to deal with this situation. Instead of being thick skinned about it she should have acted embarrassed. When he laughs out loud at her foolishness she becomes piss enough to forget her own embarrassment and screams angrily at him.

If she could be that angry at him it means that she doesn’t sustain threatening injuries. And he knows for sure that she doesn’t damage her lungs for she practically shrieks the whole time it takes him to dress her or to be precise every time his wandering hands accidentally touch her precious assets.

After she’s safely and fully clothed she looks so mortified that he feels sorry for her. So, he quickly reminds her of what she said earlier about damsel in distress. Of how if she swims she’ll drown so a man could carry her out of the water. Of how in order to seduce a man she would bare it all. Of how very similar those things are to her current predicament.

The way she scoffs at the suggestion and how she tells him that even if she wants to seduce someone by baring it all she’ll still look for a man gives him a temporary pause. It informs him that all these years she’s never seen him as a man.

Well, that kind of explains why she treats him the way it is.

As he sits by her side in the ambulance he could feel that the memory of the past is threatening to approach. Seeing his expression Eun Young teases him that he’s being so quiet is probably because the memory of her perfect body still lingers on his mind.

Her concern for his feelings touches him, so, reluctantly he shares with her that being together like this in an ambulance doesn’t bring a good memory.

When they approach the hospital he accidentally catches a glimpse of a pink dress wears by his secretary who as it turns out is still waiting for him to come back and pick her up. The silly girl is actually standing like that for six hours waiting for his return!

He is angry at himself for completely forgetting his secretary and at her for actually following his order to the letter. She defends her stupid action by saying that she’s afraid of getting another scold from him and that’s why she doesn’t move an inch and not even to relieve herself.

He feels extremely bad for giving this silly girl a hard time that he sincerely apologizes to her. She looks so happy when she hears his apologies that he wonders why. When she tells him she never expects him to apologize he lets her know that whenever he’s done something wrong he apologizes.

It’s true he doesn’t care for other people but he doesn’t want them to hate him. Now, that he has formally apologized he feels free to scold her for her stupidity of wearing the wrong dress, not bringing her mobile and watch before finally letting her go to the ladies.

When he returns to see Eun Young in the hospital she doesn’t look all right. She looks very pale with no color, no spirit and there are residues of tears in her eyes!

At first he’s afraid that his assessment of her condition is completely wrong, that she’s actually in a great pain. But her assistant informs him that she cried because of a bad dream.

He tries to find out what sort of dream that has made her so down. But she doesn’t want to talk about it and tries to get rid all of them. When he teases her whether she was dreaming about her former fiancé she quickly concurs and says that the bastard even follows and bothers her in her dream.

She’s good, but he knows she’s lying. He without dispute is the better liar between them.

He doesn’t like seeing her looking like that. She’s pathetic enough with that brace on her neck. She doesn’t need an emotional torture to bother her as well. When everyone else has left he once again tries to pry. But she keeps her mouth tightly shut.

He wants her to tell him what’s bothering her so to the extent of making her cry and bringing her spirit so low. For if she could get that thing out of her chest she would feel much better.

Eun Young is so full of spirit and energy. It bothers him to see her like this. He doesn’t want her to be sad and down. And he definitely doesn’t want her to cry!

He doesn’t buy it when she says that she’s just frustrated because of the things that happened. That her frustration is because her injury has forced her to stay immobile and cancelling her meetings, not to mention that she has trouble sleeping, and then the worst of it all he saw her without a stitch on! Of how from now on, whenever he looks at any part of her body she would always be wondering what he thinks.

She’s really getting good at it.

Something is troubling her and has put a damper on her lively spirit. To change her gloomy mood he confesses that as she’s so proud about her perfect figure he’s agreeing with her. He’s seen the proof himself after all.

Her pale face immediately turns red. Her lifeless voice turns threatening as she asks him whether he’s joking now, for didn’t he tell her before that he didn’t see anything.

Happily he lets her know that he’s not joking at all. He’s seen it all. All that a man needs is only a second. He could even draw a picture to proof it.

She’s practically screaming now when she yells at him whether he has a death wish!

That’s when he admits it to her that if she’s frustrated he’s more than just frustrated. It pains him to see her in pain. Therefore, she has to keep her spirits up and never to be sad.

She looks at him as if he’s speaking a foreign language before telling him sharply to stop pretending that he cares for her. And she doesn’t believe him at all when he replies that he’s serious.

With a rather frustrated voice she tells him to cease looking at her like that.

He guesses his face might have shown how concern and worry he really is. God forbid that he looks at her with all the tenderness and vulnerability that he always hides deep inside the deepest corner of his heart.

To put everything back to normal he informs her that he’ll leave her alone to take his ‘Kyaa Kyaa’ secretary to the farm.

Her eyes widen when she hears that ‘Kyaa Kyaa’, so he imitates his silly secretary’s gesture to show her what he means by ‘Kyaa Kyaa’. Of how she’ll clap her hands together and squeals ‘Kyaa Kyaa’ whenever she’s happy.

This trip to Jeju island besides for visiting a funeral home is also for working. He needs to start writing some pages. Which he does while assigning his silly secretary to equally silly assignment. Taking pictures of horse dung.

When she has finished and reported her job he hands over his recent writing to her but all those precious paper escape her grasp and land on piles of the afore mention horse dung. It’s just so like her to screw even that simple thing.

Anyway, he gets a chance to grandly amuse himself at her expense. Starting from getting her all covered in horse dung, spraying her with water, to buying her those horrible clothes which nobody in their right mind will buy let alone put on!

However, his fun doesn’t last long.

As he picks a call from a mobile phone which is planted by Eun Young inside his breast pocket they see JW who’s just about to get off from his expensive car. They hurriedly try to hide because he doesn’t want to be used as a punching bag once again. But his ringing mobile gives out their hiding place to that bastard.

Instead of delivering punches JW cheerily advices him that he’s going to forgive him for what he’s done because they can’t end their relationship just like that. They’ll still see each other again many times more so he’s forgetting the whole thing.

Like hell.

He quickly counters that by saying that he shouldn’t forget the whole thing. But that bastard doesn’t even want to listen and take it as a joke when he seriously tells him that he prefers if they just end their relationship right here right right now. And never see each other again. Preferably ever.

But JW isn’t finished yet.

He almost has a heart attack when that bastard asks him to promise not to fall in love with Eun Young. Ever. Goodness! He doesn’t think he could even think a good enough answer for that.

His next sentence however has managed to bring his scattering wits back. When JW tells him that as Eun Young is his publisher and he is her writer, he has to remember that their relationship could be nothing more than business relationship, he feels like laughing at his logic.

But his relief at hearing that silly statement quickly disappears when JW pointing out that he could never be together with Eun Young because of their relationship in the past. He reminds him to remember how close the four of them were back in the college. Particularly his late wife HS who was Eun Young’s close friend.

His latest statement is just as ridiculous as the previous one, but this time he doesn’t feel like laughing because the bastard has actually touched a very sore spot. Right then, he really feels he could commit a murder just like what he writes in his book!

Grimly he sends his messenger to deliver his own warning to that bastard. This time she doesn’t blindly follow his order and being smart enough to question the task and him for not delivering the message himself.

He plainly tells his secretary soon to be messenger that he’s afraid that JW will kill him if he’s within his reach even before he has a chance to finish the message. That’s why he needs his secretary to tell JW:

‘I couldn’t tell you earlier, but now I'm telling you don’t act like a loser around President Soe! It’s so embarrassing to watch!’

And last but not least to give him a sign of flicking him off!

While she does what he orders her to do he watches from a safe place with a binocular.

Then when JW’s outrage screams reach him, he’s already had quite a start to run away from his mad chase.

He shares the funny story with Eun Young hoping to make her smile and laughing joyfully but her mood is apparently still down for she barely smiles.

What makes her so blue?

He quickly orders everyone to leave because he wants to be alone with her to find out what exactly happens. When there’s only the two of them left he puts her mobile phone on the table while grumbling about her hobby to spy on him and whether it’s ever going to end.

Without a trace of guilt she informs him she isn’t going to stop. Then as if to justify her act she accuses him of having fun with his secretary instead of working hard as he is supposed to be.

With a big smile he convinces her that he was working, but his secretary was so amusing and entertaining that he felt like he was actually having fun instead of working.

Her mood is definitely bad. His explanation doesn’t even seem to lighten it one bit. Without a smile she asks him to relay his report about JW whom she suspected was looking for him. When he says there’s nothing much to report she prods by asking whether JW was saying anything strange.

His heart stops beating for a few seconds. Did JW say the same thing to her? Does she know what it means? Does she believe JW that he loves her? No, she can’t be!

With as much indifference as possible he tells her that JW always says weird and strange things that he no longer knows which one is true and which one comes from his over active imagination.

He hopes she’ll take that into consideration when JW mentions those things to her or if he already did that she shouldn’t take it seriously.

When he takes his jacket off and prepares to make himself at home, she surprises him by telling him to leave her alone with an excuse that she’s tired and he himself didn’t get enough sleep in the last two days, not to mention there’s nothing he could do here.

He doesn’t want to leave her alone like this, not when she’s hurt and clearly unhappy.

But when he asks whether she’s going to be all right all by herself she retorts since when did he start to worry about her. As he can’t answer that question he is left with no other choice but to leave.

But once he’s outside that door he couldn’t force his legs to move any further. He really can’t leave her alone although he knows that’s the best thing to do.

So he comes back.

She’s more than surprised to see him back. With wonder she lets him know that she’s touched by his gesture and that she should get sick more often so that she’ll get his attention.

Then with her bright mind she quickly analyzes the things that have happened recently and comes to conclusions that he has two weaknesses. Tears and sickness.

Damn it! He knows he shouldn’t come back!

She’s right but she’s also wrong. Tears and sickness are his weaknesses. But it only applies to her tears and her sickness. Not other people’s. Her tears are the most powerful weapon to be used against him. For he doesn’t want to see her cry. Ever.

Her sickness is another lethal weapon that will completely destroy his defenses and pretenses. Just like this, no matter how much he wants to leave her and regardless of the fact that he knows he has to leave her alone, he just couldn’t!

Horrified, he listens to her musing that if only she knew this before she would cry more often and get herself sick more often too. The problem is crying and being sick are not her forte. She never cries and she’s always been as healthy as a horse. Now she knows that’s why he treats her so badly. If she cries and gets sick he’ll treat her gently and with care like this.

With enough boredom in his voice he warns her not to cry nor get sick just to get his attention. Her special appeal is the fact that she’s strong. If she becomes sick and cries on daily basis she’ll lose her charms.

When she asks him is that really so he quickly says it is.

She’s quiet for a moment before saying sadly that she’s devastated that in order to maintain her appeal, she has to pretend that she’s all right whenever she’s sick and to pretend that she's happy whenever she feels like crying. Life is so unfair that she has to do this in order to make him like her.

This time he is the one who couldn’t speak.

If he could only tell her that he’s already devastated hearing her saying those things. This is the first time he gets to hear from her own mouth that she's actualy having a hard time trying to please him.

He never thought that she even tries, but of course she does. As his publisher and friend, she's the one who bends and compromises in order to suit his selfishness. If he could only tell her that he likes her just the way she is. That she doesn't have to pretend nor do anything to make him like her.

If he could only tell her that her pain hurts him more than she could ever imagine.
There are so many if onlys, words that have to be kept hiden, feelings that could never be revealed.

Sleeping in the same room like this, being this close to her brings those dark memories that have been hovering on the edges of his mind. It brings things he’s pushed to the far corners of his mind. Things he tries to forget.

He remembers that day when she came barging in into his hotel room.

Until now, he still doesn’t know how did she find him that day. Or how long and hard she had been looking for him before she finally found him.

That particular subject is something that neither of them want to talk about.

Now, in the still of the night with her sleeping a couple of meters away from him he remembers that day as clearly as it was yesterday…..

He was wrecked with guilt and had decided to end his life. He couldn’t continue living with the pains that torture him day in day out. He couldn’t continue to live his life knowing what he did to HS.

Not only he made her life miserable, he also killed her. She did nothing wrong. Her only mistake was falling in love with him. And he used that for his own benefit.

He shouldn’t marry her. Not when he wasn’t in love with her. Not when he was in love with her best friend! But he was desperate. And he really thought that by marrying her he could try to forget Eun Young. To stop his love for her.

The problem was although he had every intention to stop his love for Eun Young, he really couldn’t live without maintaining a sort of connection to her. After all she’s all he’s got. By marrying HS he could stay close to Eun Young. Maintaining some connection to her. Getting some news about her from HS.

He was serious about trying to forget her. He was sincere in his wish to try to love HS and move on.

How was he to know that his heart would refuse to cooperate with his mind?

In retrospect, he knows that marrying HS was his biggest mistake. His second biggest but first mistake was introducing JW to Eun Young when he found out that he had fallen in love with her but she just considered him as a very dearest friend.

He should’ve waited for Eun Young to see him as a man and fell in love him. He shouldn’t try to kill his love for her by marrying her best friend!

Marrying HS only told him what he already knew but tried to deny. That he really really loves her. Deeply, eternally and irrevocably in love with her.

Now with HS’s death on his hands he could never tell her how long he’s been in love with her. He could never let her know how much he really loves her.

That day when he thought he was finally dead but wasn't, when he opened his eyes to see her white stricken face in front of him…….. Seeing those tears running along her cheeks……. Hearing her desperate choking voice urging him to live……... Feeling her shaking hands that held his face steady to look at her, forcing him to listen to what she had to say, that she had a legally binding contract that he had to fulfill…….

He was in hell.

He knew he couldn’t continue living his life with the guilt of killing his own ex wife. With the excruciating pains inside his chest. It hurt so much. But, painful as it was……..if Eun Young wanted him to live, live he will…….

That’s how he lives his life.

The day they leave for Seoul he plans to drop by at the hospital on their way to the airport to see Eun Young, but her assistant informs him that she’s already left and checked herself out in the morning.

How could she leave without saying a word? It’s very strange.

Then when she calls to check the time of their arrival her assistant refuses to connect him to her. And when they arrive at the office instead of coming in from the front door, they are using the back door. Something is definitely wrong.

Unfortunately, he still doesn’t quite get it until he opens his door and see the crews of a TV station inside his apartment.

They have played this war game often enough. He tries to escape her carefully set plan. She tries to outwit him with detail planning. But this is different.

For the first time ever, instead of mere scheming and using her wits to get what she wants she uses his feelings for her against him!

He shoots her killing glares which she avoids by simply not looking his way. He wants her to see how angry he really is. The second she finally has to look at him he shows her his exact feelings about what she’s done. She looks guilty enough but still determine nonetheless.

When she follows him into his private chamber he gives her a cold shoulder and silent treatment. She tries to sooth his anger with explanation that this particular interview is not a new gig. It’s actually the one he ditched before. She just reschedules it.

Slowly she informs him that after this one he would never have to do this kind of thing ever again. She promises she would leave him alone. But the bottom line is he has to do this interview. He should’ve known how important this one is as she has mentioned it before.

That’s when he couldn’t stop himself from responding.

He purposely made her angry in the past by behaving badly. By being uncooperative. By showing her his temper and mood swings. All were done intentionally. But this time, he’s hurt. For real.

Coldly, he tells her that he had told her quite clearly that he didn’t want to do it. He’d do anything else but television interview.

And now he understands why she didn’t want to continue her medical treatment in Seoul as he suggested and insisted to stay in that hospital until the day of the interview. She’d been scheming and plotting in her sick bed while he stayed up every night worrying for the whole week about her health!

That’s the real Soe Eun Young!

He throws those words at her angrily and knows he has hurt her when she pleadingly asks him to stop looking at her with such contempt and anger. Slowly, she implores him, trying to explain her action.

Does he really think her as a she devil? She might be smiling and putting a brave face to brace his anger. But she isn’t happy either. She doesn’t want to do this. But she has no other choice because he wouldn’t cooperate.

He knows she's waiting for his response, for him to soften his stance. But he's not going to do that!

However, she manages to shock the hell out of him when dejectedly she says that perhaps it’s better for them to terminate their contract after he finishes his current book.

That’s the last thing he wants to happen!

Sadly, she continues that she doesn’t understand how their relationship has come to this. Didn’t they work together to make money? But with how the things are going on she’s afraid that they’re going to end up fighting with each other. It bothers her that each fight is getting bitter than the previous one. And worse, they might end up in court with law suits.

With as much derision he could muster he tells her that she has nothing to worry about for even if they end up in court she’ll win their fight and he’ll end up bankrupt without even a penny to his name.

She looks wounded. Then with a disappointed voice she asks him whether he really thinks that she would be happy if things turn out that way.

He almost relents then, but he really hates TV interview. Not to mention that if he does what she wants, he’s afraid that she would discover how vulnerable he really is when it comes to her.

Her mind is one of the quickest that he’s ever encountered. She has found out that he’s weak when it comes to tears and sickness. It wasn’t easy for him to counter her findings and convinced her not to use them against him.

Relenting is a sure road to doom.

So, dryly he asks her whether she really won’t be happy if things turn that bad for them in the end. When she says no, sarcastically he repeats her word.

She looks so frustrated that she finally relents and just about to cancel the whole thing when the crews come in to get him ready.

He realizes then that Eun Young is not going to stop it now. He knows she feels bad but she’s also very practical. Things have gone too far to be stopped now. He has to use his own wit to outwit her. Hopefully, his far from bright secretary could use her brain this time and catch his coded sign correctly.

As it happens, his silly secretary has done another good job. She catches his meaning to prepare the exit door and clear the coast for their escapade. He is so pleased with her that he automatically ruffles her hair like what one might do to one’s beloved faithful dog.

However, when he tells her that they’re going somewhere where they won’t be recognized she looks shocked at the fact that there would only be the two of them. He might like to consider her as a faithful dog that will follow his master wherever he goes but his faithful secretary isn’t a dog. She’s actually a grown up woman regardless of the fact that he never sees her as such.

He’d rather she doesn’t consider herself as female and see him as a male so she could work without being bothered by silly sense of sensibility. What a nuisance.

He quickly orders their taxi driver to go to her home to drop her first. But although she’s the one who hesitates to go with him in the first place, now when he remembers that she has a family to consider she behaves like she doesn’t want to be left behind!

His patience is running thin.

Sharply, he tells her to get off and orders the driver to drive on and left her. Right when they turn the corner she almost gives the poor man a heart attack by appearing so suddenly in front of the car.

Without saying sorry she hops in. He angrily orders her to get out but she refuses to follow his order insisting that as his secretary she should stay with him.

Then she makes him even angrier when she brings out the fact that if he left her behind she’s the one who has to take the blame for their escapade. She wouldn’t be able to face the President in his stead. Continuing with ‘How could you be so irresponsible?’

The girl has become really crazy! How dare she talks back to him her boss? How dare she turns him as the irresponsible one by doing the right thing by her? By being responsible! She considers herself as female and feels it inappropriate to travel with him. So, he drops her off!

She’s the one with a crazy middling family who thinks him crazy. He’s doing the sane thing by dropping her off to the bosom of her family. Otherwise they would think he kidnaps and chops off their daughter in some remote island to pieces!

Just when they are about to drive on, DW Eun Young’s coffee shop manager gives the driver a second heart attack. He follows them because Eun Young orders him to find out where they go. Then without further ado he also hops in and shows no attention to budge.

The madness doesn’t stop there, for as they are about to set off for the third time, her crazy father decides to throw himself into the front of their taxi to stop his crazy daughter from leaving with a crazy writer. Naturally, he puts all the blame on him not his illogical daughter.

And then her little brother decides to contribute to the whole chaos!

His head starts to feel like it’s going to explode just by being put into such a brief contact with them. Irritably, he watches and waits for his secretary to finish her telephone conversation with her crazy dad which she does right away when they arrive at the hotel.

As soon as she hangs up he tells her what he thinks about the whole ordeal. Of how unacceptable it is. How could the boss who wants to disappear for a period of time has to choose his hide out based on what would be convenient for his secretary had she want to travel to visit her family.

Didn’t he tell her to go to the bosom of her family? Why didn’t she listen?

He doesn’t really want to go far away from Seoul but he wants to make the silly girl feels guilty for their being here. Unfortunately, she doesn’t feel guilty at all. She justifies her action by reminding him that he would call her action of not following him as a betrayal.

Then foolish as she is she doesn’t even know she has to stop when she’s a head she adds another foolish comment that they’re partners, therefore they have to stick together.

With no mercy he butchers her statement. They are not partners. Partners are for equal. For people with the same level of capabilities. How could she be equal to him? How could she be his partners? Who told her that they’re partners? Did she just shamelessly think so herself?

This time she knows when she has been beaten and quickly changes the subject. Complimenting the presidential suite room of the five stars hotel they’re in. And wondering at how much it costs and for the first time realizing that he must be really rich to be able to come to this fancy hotel and renting this super expensive room without a care.

When he asks her since when did she become smarter, she quickly comes back to their previous topic and says that since they’re not partners, she’ll become his accomplish, his follower like Don Quixote and Sancho or Tom and Jerry.

Her far from bright mind might try his patience but her foolishness is amusing.

When she sees him preparing himself to start working and asks him whether he’s going to start working now, he knows that she thought that since he’s running away from the interview he has no intention to work at all and just wants to play truant.

Well, she would never understand the way his mind works. Particularly not when it comes to his writing and Eun Young.

Sternly, he warns her to stay away from him and not to bother him until he calls her. Perhaps what he should tell her is not to middle between him and Eun Young. For although she learnt her lesson about where to put her loyalty first, she still reminds him to give Eun Young a call because she must be very worried right now.

He doesn’t think Eun Young will be worried, it’s more likely that she’ll get piss really bad because once again she has to clean up his mess. Soothing ruffle feathers is her specialty but it doesn’t mean that it is an easy job to do. She’s probably imagining numerous ways to kill him at the moment.

But, his foolish secretary seriously thinks that Eun Young will be worried. So even though he told her not to give Eun Young a call she still does it behind his back.

And, he couldn’t stop himself from talking to Eun Young when he knows that it’s her on the line. He still needs to know that everything is alright. So, he grabs the phone from his very shocked secretary.

And just like he thought Eun Young has skillfully cleaned up his mess. Good naturally she concurs with him that it is her very special skills, cleaning up his mess.

But then with sugary voice she lets him know that the mess he left this time was a lot messier than all his previous ones combine together, so the book that he’s been writing now has better be a good one.

When he assures her that this one will be a best seller, she cuts him shortly by warning him that a mere best seller won’t do. He really has crossed the line this time.

Yes, he knows he has crossed the line. He shouldn’t talk to her at all.

By talking to her, he lets her know that he’s still worry about her opinion thus giving her a chance to dictate him. He can’t let her know that he actually cares about how much trouble he has caused her.

Lee Jin Soo doesn’t care about that.

In a very cold voice he asks her how long does it take to satisfy her. When in a shock voice she says ‘What?!’ he clarifies his question.

He lets her know that she wasn’t like this in the past. Now, she becomes greedy. How much money and fame does she need to have before she’s finally satisfied. He might be a brilliant and talented writer but he’s not a machine. It appears to him than even though he writes as many books as possible non-stop she would never be satisfied.

There is a moment of stunned silence. When she answers with a catch in her voice he knows he really has crossed the line this time. For real. He wishes he could take everything back. With dread he listens to what she has to say.

He listens to the pain behind her angry words and bleeds with the painful reminder of the things that have happened in the past as she mentions them. He aches with the forceful reminder that she’s the reason for him to live.

His heart feels like it has been knifed with the knowledge that he has hurt the only person whom he loves more than anything else in the whole world.

‘What will you do if you don’t write books? Can you continue living if you don’t write? You’re behaving like a normal human being only when you write books. I make you write, so what? What are you complaining about?'

'What would you like to do if not writing books? Would you like to do those things you did in the past? Would you like to find a hideout to do your drugs freely? And when you lost your interest in drugs will you take your own life then?’

‘How dare you talking like that about me! Saying I only care about money! At least I still care about money! How about you?! You care about nothing! You only like playing childish game like this. Pretending to be good in front of others. Joking around and being insincere.'

'You said I’ve changed? I’ve changed because I’m human, you bastard! I thought that if you become famous you would also change and would acquire some sense of responsibility. But you never change do you? Not even a little.’

‘I find it funny how you would like to teach your secretary to become a pro when she’s actually more a pro than yourself. She does whatever her boss tells her to do. And she cares for those around her.'

'Who’s more professional? Human beings need to have sincerity to relate with each other. Who is teaching who? She’s much better than you. Finish the first draft this month! I won’t forgive you if you delay it any further!’

Despite the angry words, the uncompromising stance, he could hear the hurt and the pains behind them. He could feel that she’s terribly hurt by what he said.

When he returns the phone to his secretary he hardly hears what she says.

He should be relief that their relationship follows its regular patterns. From good to bad. But he is very far from relief. It’s never been this bad before. He caused her many problems but he has never hurt her like this.

In the past whenever he felt the need to keep their distance, he either created some problems or putting some real distance between them by travelling away.

Perhaps he should leave her……

But how could he? Just the thought of leaving her makes his heart freezes and his whole body numbs with fears. He can’t live without her! He needs to be around her in order to function. It’s not his writing that keeps him going on, it’s her!

He really needs to focus on his writing now but his foolish good hearted middling secretary makes it difficult to do. She hovers around his desk advising him that she heard from DW that the President cried after talking on the phone with him.

She concludes that the President must have faced a huge problem because they had run away from that interview, then she takes the liberty to blame him for their escapade. She regrets listening to him for he only thinks about himself. And how could he continue writing after what has happened?

He might pretend that he was not listening and didn’t care when his secretary was talking. But the news that Eun Young had cried after their conversation shakes him like nothing could. He knows he has hurt her. But hearing that she actually cries because of that brings him to an understanding of how hurt she really is.

He wanted to kill JW for making her cry what should he do to himself now for making her cry?

He tries to continue working. Forcing himself to act like nothing happened. Telling himself that their fight is necessary to keep their distance. But he couldn’t concentrate. His heart aches. It urges him to go to Eun Young. To see for himself that she’s all right. To do whatever he could to heal her pains.

In the end his feelings win. He can’t take it anymore. He has to see her!

The sight he sees in her office doesn’t come close to what he expected to see. Although to be honest he doesn’t really know what kind of scene he imagined to find when he comes here. But it isn’t finding her looking at some pictures and looks guilty as hell when he asks her what are those things that she just threw away into the waste bin.

Nervously she asks him why he suddenly comes to her office. When he questions her whose pictures are those and tries to get a closer look she actually spreads her arms wide to prevent him from looking.

Which makes him more curious and determines to have a look. But when he tries to walk pass her she raises her leg and slants it to tackle his leg. Like a rotten tree he falls to the floor.

Stunned he looks at her in wonder.

She quickly tries to change the subject by telling him that she thought he already run away to a remote area to do his writing. Does he actually stay in Seoul?

Not, that easy darling.

With some heat he yells at her. What did she think she’s doing? Is she going to burn those photos? Are they her nude photos? Then intentionally he looks her up and down before saying: What’s the big deal? He’s seen it all anyway. She has nothing to be embarrassed about. Their relationship is an intimate one after all.

That’s when she kicks his shin as hard as she could and makes him fall to the floor for the second time, while daring him to repeat what he just said. Accusingly, he informs her that this is the reason why he runs away from her. He actually wants to run away as far as possible, but his secretary makes that impossible.

Then he couldn’t stop himself from smiling. Although his legs hurt, he’s just happy seeing that she’s quite all right, all her perky self.

But Eun Young isn’t in a benevolent mood. After smirking for a few seconds instead of smiling she tells him that making silly faces in front of her won’t solve the problem. Why did he come back? Didn’t she tell him not to come back before he finishes his first draft?

Half jokingly he tells her that he heard she was crying in front of her staff. He knows that being a pro she would never let other people see that weak side of her let alone her staff.

So he wants to know how much money the company has lost. He’s terribly afraid that her crying like that could only mean that the company has gone bankrupt. That’s why he’s here.

This time she snorts before asking him doesn’t he know her. How could her company collapse just because of one person called Lee Jin Soo?

When he agrees with her and says of course that’s not possible because she is Soe Eun Young, she gives him one of her fake smiles before continuing with her current theme of how great she is.

Boastfully, she reminds him that she has told him before how formidable she really is. And that he doesn’t have any impact on her what so ever. When he asks her whether that’s really true she tells him that of course it’s true. So, he takes that as his cue to leave her now that he knows she’s all right.

But after he went out of her door she quickly follows to the door and asks him where he is going to go and whether he stays at a hotel in Seoul. Gently, he tells her not to worry about him, nothing will happen to him because he’s still writing his book.

She scoffs again when she hears that and tells him that she’s never been worry about him. He quickly lets her know that that’s being the case he would never be worried about her either. It’s only that his foolish secretary likes to exaggerate things by miles and has a rather wild imagination.

Seeing that everything is fine, cheerfully he informs her that he’s leaving now.

Since he’s already here he decides to go up to his apartment and pack some clothes as well. Just as he’s about to leave he thinks about seeing Eun Young one last time. When he turns around he sees that the company’s door is wide open, which is strange and then when he comes inside he hears a strange noise from her office.

The sight he sees now in her office is also not what he expects to see.

It’s JW who’s sitting on the floor crying heartbrokenly while hugging Eun Young’s waste bin! While Eun Young herself is nowhere to be seen. He doesn’t want to know why JW is crying here. But the bastard tells him anyway. He cries because Eun Young torn all their pictures together or to be exact his face into pieces.

Some people say that misery loves company, so does JW who tries to bring him to his side by asking him didn’t he remember what others used to call them. So after giving it few seconds he says: ‘Han Ji Won and Soe Eun Young’. JW only cries harder before wailing that it’s ‘the perfect couple’!

He doesn’t give a damn about how this bastard feels. He’s worried about Eun Young. Where did she go? This bastard must have driven her away!

He’s about to leave when JW just grabs his waist and hold on while lamenting about how cruel Eun Young really is before dozing off, still hugging her waste bin fills with his torn pictures.

With nothing else to do he picks those pictures up one by one until he finally sees one that makes his heart stops beating and drops to the floor with fears.

It was a picture of the four of them together. He, JW, Eun Young and HS. But Eun Young has torn JW’s face out of the picture. Then she folded HS’s face who was sitting between him and Eun Young so that the picture now becomes only of his and Eun Young sitting side by side. Just the two of them. Together.

With trembling fingers he folds and unfolds the picture. His mind refuses to believe what he sees. It refuses to think about what it means. And its implication. After sometimes, his heart slowly resumes its beating with painful thuds. Each one screaming: No! Dear God, no!

He might still be standing like that until forever if JW doesn’t stir and he needs to be sent off to wherever he lives. Helping that bastard into a taxi isn’t easy for he keeps saying the most ridiculous thing that a cheater could ever say. His contempt for JW helps to make him forget the shocking picture he just saw.

But once he’s all alone on the side walk the memory of that folded picture comes back with a full force. He remembers how long he was looking at his picture together with Eun Young before unfolding it and saw HS in their middle.

When he arrives at his presidential suite his secretary questions him for taking so long to come back. He doesn’t have the inclination to scold her for questioning her boss.

As he walks inside he sees the wine bottle and asks her whether she has been drinking during her working hours. Once again without his usual temper. But she quickly denies it and lets him know that it’s the President who came and drunk the wine.

His heart does its painful thud. And its usual jumps whenever it hears Eun Young’s name. Slowly, he asks his secretary where Eun Young is. Once again his heart does another thud and jump when it hears that Eun Young is in his bedroom.

He rushes to his bedroom to see whether she’s really there. Yes, there she is, half sitting half lying on his bed. Looking so helpless and lonely. His heart aches just seeing her like that.

SY informs him that the President had drunk too much wine and seems to be very depressed and down. She looks very unhappy and troubled. After saying her observation his foolish secretary wonders what could they do to help her.

Shortly, he tells her to leave. When she looks bewildered he dismisses her once again. Then turns around towards his bedroom. He really has no energy, patience nor time to spare for his far from bright secretary tonight.

Carefully, he comes to Eun Young side and calls her name. When there’s no response his hand automatically moves to touch her when he decides against it. She has gone into a deep sleep while sitting like that.

Gently, he takes her shoes off. Then, hesitantly and awkwardly he wraps his arms around her to ease her into a more comfortable sleeping position. When part of her locks falls to her forehead he smooth it back while caressing her hair gently.

The sight of her sleeping so peacefully on his bed does strange thing to his heart. It’s painful to watch but at the same time he longs for the chance to see it for the rest of his life.

What should he do now?

Why did Eun Young pretend that she’s all right when she’s not? What’s the meaning of that folded picture? What was on her mind when she put their pictures together like that? Does it mean that she wants them to be together? Not, in a professional term but in a personal one?

No! Please, not that!

His rambling thoughts have brought him a physical pain that serves as a reminder that he’s actually in the middle of making himself a cup of coffee. He drops the pitcher to the floor when the hot water he’s been pouring overflows the cup.

The noise brings back his secretary who rushes to the phone to ask for medication which he quickly forbids. Then she rushes over to clean up the mess on the table. When he tells her not to she insists on doing it. That’s when he lost it. With all the pent up anger and frustration that he feels inside he yells at her not to bother.

As soon as he’s done shouting at her he feels guilty. The silly girl has done nothing wrong except for trying to be helpful. It’s not her fault that he’s in a very dark mood. That his life has turned upside down and about to collapse at any moment now.

In a more reasonable tone he asks her why she’s still here. Instead of answering him she asks about Eun Young. So, he lets her know that she’s too drunk and probably won’t wake up till tomorrow.

When she’s saying her good bye it occurs to him that it would only be him and Eun Young and the long dark night with even darker memories and future to keep him company. It’s a very intimidating prospect. It’s better to have his silly secretary to keep him company.

But then he finds out that she’s already had plan for tonight. Although, quite cheerfully she offers to cancel her plan to watch her midnight movie when she finds out that he seems to want to keep her here. Without much regrets she says her plan isn’t important at all and she’ll call her friend to cancel it.

It turns out that the friend with whom she’s about to see the midnight movie is Eun Young’s manager DW. After finding out that it isn’t a complete stranger he decides it’s better for him to just join them. When he asks his secretary whether it would be all right, she looks ecstatic and says the more the merrier.

However, she looks rather strange when they wait for their transportation and he tells her that he’ll follow her decision to use a bus instead of a cab. Then he asks her what’s wrong. She tells him that she feels a little bit embarrass when he treats her like this.

He lets her know then that since it’s him who tags along with her she should do what she would like to do and don’t mind him. And as this isn’t a working hour either he’ll listen to her. She shouldn’t feel embarrass, he puts a clear cut between his private life and working life. He no longer has any authority to control her because he’s not paying her free time.

When they get on the bus and he lets her take the seat first she looks rather stunned. Then the silly girl confesses that it makes her remember the first time they met. Her impression of him was really good. She thought him a gentleman.

He remembers what Eun Young told him, how he always pretends to be good to others and never being sincere. After taking a deep breath he lightly tells his silly secretary that he’s exactly that type. One that could only relies on first impression to impress others.

He could see that him treating her like a lady gives the silly girl quite a shock. She’s very jumpy and quite nervous. But he quite enjoys their midnight outing. Who would have thought that he would see a movie at this hour with Eun Young’s manager DW? It’s very amusing.

Unfortunately, DW doesn’t think so. He’s been glaring at him since the first time he sees him. It isn’t until later when they are about to take their sits and DW gives him murderous looks when he’s about to sit next to SY that it dawns on him what this is all about.

It’s so funny! He feels so amuse by his own lack of understanding, DW’s obvious glares, and SY’s ignorance. Their threesome is very hilarious. More so, because there’s nothing to warrant it in the first place.

But his amusement quickly disappears when he remembers another threesome. And how it feels to have a third person comes and ruins everything when you’re having a lovely time with the girl you love.

While everybody else is watching the Chinese movie on the screen he sees himself and Eun Young laughing happily that particular day ten years ago.

They were talking and laughing together and then sit side by side on the bench at their campus’s park. Everything was perfect. Then suddenly out of nowhere came JW charging like a bull and unseated him from the bench to the hard ground and took his sit next to Eun Young.

He remembers exactly how it feels to have a third person ruins everything, so despite the earnest invitation from his foolish secretary to continue their midnight sojourn, he takes his leave after the movie ended.

On the way back to the hotel all the things that had happened in the past and all the mistakes that he had made come to haunt him.

He has to muster all his courage before entering his bedroom. He’s so scared of the things that might happen tonight. The easiest and safest way to take is to stay away from her. To leave her alone and don’t come anywhere near her. But he couldn’t do that. Not, when he knows how lonely and down she is at this moment.

Seeing her sleeping on his big bed is heaven. It’s also hell. He’s about to leave her alone when she stirs restlessly. Even in her sleep she couldn’t find peace, all because of him. He really can’t leave her like this. But when he tries to put her into a better position and telling her to sleep properly she pushes his hands away.

Then sleepily asks whether it’s Lee Jin Soo, because the voice sounds like Lee Jin Soo’s voice. With as much toughness that he could force into his voice he tells her that it is Lee Jin Soo who has come. Hearing that she scoffs her usual scoff. Helplessly, he sits on her bed to hear her sleep drunk mumbling.

‘You bastard! If you keep treating me like this, after losing me you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. Lee Jin Soo can’t live without me, yet he pretends to be tough and mean in front of me.’

His heart stops beating. If only she knows how right she is. Thanks God she never believes that when she’s sober!

‘Because you aren’t honest with people, they won’t be honest with you either. I don’t give a damn about money. But you’ve turned me into a money craze person. It’s all for your sake. I become like this because I want to take care of you. Do you know?’

After saying that last sentence with an accusing tone, she continues tiredly:

‘I really can’t do this anymore.’

Every sentence she says breaks his heart into pieces. Heartbrokenly, he begs her to continue to take care of him, for if she no longer wants to do it, then who will?

Even while she’s in this stage he still couldn’t bring himself to tell her that he doesn’t need anybody else or anything for that matter. All he has ever needed is her. Life means nothing to him without her.

Faintly, she says that she has had enough. Everything has ended. She just can’t take it anymore. For he will always be like this for the rest of his life. He’ll never change.

With aching heart he looks at her sleeping face. With longing he tries to caress her face with his eyes. If only he could tell her the things he can’t tell her. If only he could ease her pain the way she wants it to be eased. It only he could show her how much he really loves her..….

His chest hurts. But he welcomes the excruciating pain that assaults him. Just by being with her he could endure anything. Except her pain……

Please God don’t let her love him…….

He spends the night sitting in a sofa by the window watching her sleep while his heart bleeds. Seeing how miserable she is now he knows that he has to leave her if he doesn’t want to hurt her any further. But how could he leave her if he couldn’t live without her?

But this is the best thing for her........

When Eun Young wakes up he greets her cheerfully and lets her know that her phone had been ringing about ten times. Then with equal gusto urges her to wash up and be quick about it as they need the check out after eating their breakfast.

When she just stands there looking dumbfounded, he pretends he doesn’t know that it’s his attitude that confuses her not his statement, and proceeds to explain why he wants to check out.

The President had stormed in into his hideout and took over his master bedroom so what’s the point of staying at this hotel. It’s better to move back into his apartment and not spending his money here.

She goes into the bathroom still looking like that, but when she comes back she is more or less back to her normal self. And as they sit together despite her composure he is a little bit unsure about how to proceed.

But Eun Young feels no such burden. She converse easily and wonders about SY, why she doesn’t join them.

He tells her that he orders his secretary to go straight to the office and after thinking a bit playfully asks her whether she knows whom her manager DW likes. She looks puzzled then decides to give up after few guesses.

But he insists her to keep on guessing, telling her that the one whom DW likes isn’t one of her café’s employees. Her eyes widen in surprise as she looks at him before saying in wonder: ‘Your secretary?’

Excitedly he lets her know what happened when he went out to watch a midnight show with them not knowing they were on a date. Had he stayed a moment longer her manager might kill him with his murderous glares.

She laughs out loud enjoying his awkward predicament. He loves hearing her laughter, he loves seeing her smile happily like that. If only he could see her like this forever. If only they could continue like this.

While sipping the coffee that he especially prepares for her she informs him how much she comes to like his secretary. Although his secretary isn’t that bright but she’s hardworking. In a few years SY would be a good employee and she wouldn’t bother him anymore about employing her.

This is the perfect time to tell her. No matter how much he wants to keep their relationship the way it is he knows he has to severe their ties. Cautiously he informs her that he wouldn’t hire SY.

In confusion she asks him why he doesn’t want to continue hiring his secretary.

He confesses that he can’t continue to hire SY because he’s leaving soon. But she doesn’t have to worry about SY’s future because if his secretary pays any attention during her time with him, she’ll have enough knowledge when she looks for another job.

When she asks him to clarify what he means, he gives his explanation in a light tone, as if they aren’t talking about something important. As if his heart doesn’t ache with the knowledge he will leave her soon.

He lets her know of his plan to leave before September right after he submits the final draft. He can see that she doesn’t think he is serious. There’s only a little curiosity in her voice when she questions him where does he want to go after leaving here.

When he says that it doesn’t really matter where because he’s stayed too long in this place not to mention that he’s been working for two long years, her face change a little. She reminds him that this is his hometown that he was born here. Why does he talk as if he’s sick of being here and this is a foreign country that he needs to abandon.

Then with a completely different tone she demands to know whether that’s why he starts working again all of a sudden.

It hurts to hear how much she has come to misunderstand him. It’s hard to maintain a strong façade when his heart is turning over. But he has to sit there to hear her next sentence.

To hear the pain in her voice when she asks him whether he planned it all along, whether he writes this book for her because he wants to leave her.

She looks like she can’t decide whether she wants to be angry, offended or disappointed. But he knows she feels betrayed for whatever the status of their relationship is, he knows she feels deeply for him. And it hurts when you find out that that special person has no regards for you.

With a big smile he confirms her suspicion that he’s been planning it all along. That the reason why he wants to leave this place is because he couldn’t stand her nagging any longer.

Her expressions completely change now. It’s plain to see that she is really hurt by what he says so he quickly laughs and tells her that he’s only joking.

Grimly she says that it’s probably a joke to cover up what he really feels inside. Doesn’t that what he always do whenever he talks to her. She is forced to find out what he really means when he says something because he’s never been sincere with her.

If it’s hard for her, it’s even harder for him. He’s been pretending and lying for so long because he doesn’t want her to find out the truth. But to finally hear that he’s done such a good job that she no longer able to trust him nor differentiate the truth from lies hurts. It pains him to continue this tread but he must.

So quietly he asks her didn’t he have a right to take a rest after working hard for two whole years. He wants to have a chance to travel for two long years without being bothered.

Blithely he warns her that she’d better not looking for him. He promises that he’ll be good and stay put in his apartment until this book is finished.

Then he continues to the most difficult part of all, that they should sign their contract next time when they meet again. He couldn’t even look at her when he says that but he manages to say his next sentence cheerfully.

He is all smile when he tells her that he knows it’s too late now to have another TV interview for the book he’s writing but not for the next one. She should arrange it for his next book. He’ll do it without a fuss, but just for one time!

She doesn’t say anything when she hears that major compromise. But after looking at him for a few seconds she softly tells him to look at her.
No! He doesn’t want to look at her!

‘Look at me.’
He glances her way for a second.
‘Look at me directly.’

No! He doesn’t want to look into her clear eyes. He doesn’t want to see the sincerity that shines through them. He doesn’t want to destroy whatever left of her hopes and faith in him. With a rather forced smile and laugh he says: ‘What?’

‘Was I dreaming last night?’
She asks that question gently with vulnerability that he has never heard before. Her face is full of earnest expectation.

His smile disappears. His heart flips achingly.
Helplessly he looks at her searching eyes for a few second. He knows that she refers to the time when she woke up at dawn and saw him sitting on a sofa by the window, looking at her with longing and sadness.

They looked at each other for a few moments before in a voice roughen with emotion he finally told her to go back to sleep because it’s still dawn and then gazing out of the window waiting for the sun to rise while continue to watch over her.

There’s wonder in her voice when she looks at him, ‘You are the same person from last night. But how could it be that your eyes are not the same?’

Jokingly he asks her: ‘What about last night? What eyes?’ then proceeds to give her an example of lecherous eyes, ‘Like this?’

She looks at him with stunned disbelief which he refuses to acknowledge so gleefully he queries: ‘Coffee?’ then runs away to get it.

Their ride to the office is a tense one. Eun Young broods silently. It’s too much to expect her to believe that dawn scene as a dream for she was completely lucid and wide awake then.

He couldn’t take the tension anymore. So with an excuse that people would find their coming together to the office strange, he asks her to drop him off somewhere along the way. In fact right here would be fine.

She cuts his sentence with a sharp ‘You are …...’ but when he looks at her she doesn’t look back. Her face is flush with anger but pinched in pain. When she continues her sentence her tone is still as sharp as before. She doesn’t even bother to look at him when she talks and just stares straight ahead.

‘You are really a lost cause. You really are.’

It hurts to hear she has finally lost whatever little hope and faith she still harbors for him for he remembers quite clearly what she said while she was half sleeping half drunk: that she had had enough of him.

To actually hear her saying those final words makes him lost whatever left of his strength to breach their relationship. His aching heart almost drops to the floor when she suddenly stops the car and icily orders him to get out.

He doesn’t want to leave her like this. Yes, he was the one who asked her to drop him off. But not like this. Not this soon. It’s painful to drive together like this but it’s more painful not to drive with her. To loose her. He could feel the panic closing in. So he pleads:
‘This is still very far. Can’t I get a ride a bit farther? You could drop me off later when we’re closer to the office.'

'I always get fooled by you. Yet, I still…….’
She takes a deep breath, there’s sorrow in her voice and disappointment at herself when she scoffs at the end of her sentence.
‘I really thought you would be different this time.’

Then she finally turns her head to look at him but he doesn’t have the courage to look back, not until she dismissively snaps:
‘I told you to get out.’

Left with no choice but to do as she says he gets out of her car and watches her drives away leaving him behind. Alone. While she drives on without looking back. It hurts because he knows that once she decides to cut him loose, she could do it just as decisively. Just as easily as leaving him here on this road.

She might be a woman but she wouldn’t wallow in sorrow like most women. Eun Young is the most pragmatic and logical person he knows. Once she decides he’s not worth it. She’ll move on. That’s what he wants but why it still hurts so much?

When he arrives at the apartment his foolish secretary has already standing in front of his door. The silly girl gets even sillier by day. Now she even asks him why he didn’t make any sounds at all when he comes from her back. Since when he has to make a lot of noise when he wants to go into his own house? She really tries his patience with her limited brain power.

But, those who are blessed with much brighter brain are supposed to be the one who does the thinking and foreseeing the problems ahead. In his case, he’s the one who has to take action when his secretary inconveniences him.

He has become tired of locking and unlocking the door for his own secretary so he gives her a spare key.
She might not have what it needs to solve or analyze difficult problem but she sure does have a healthy interest when it comes to personal matters. Namely his.

When she asks him why he didn’t come together with the President he advises her there’s no need to create a scandal which she readily agrees. Which just shows how foolish she is.

Doesn’t she notice that it’s her relationship with DW that has become the hot news between the café’s staff? Nobody knows the real nature of his relationship with Eun Young. Nobody knows how close they really are.

Just to test how clueless she really is he asks her about the ice cream she wanted to have after the movie. Happily she informs him that she had her ice cream and it was great but it would have been wonderful if he was there too. When he tells her he didn’t want to risk his life over an ice cream she doesn’t even get it.

He could understand about her and her ex because they were on the same par. DS his friend is also understandable, but DW too? Eun Young must have been correct in her analysis that for certain type of people even though they walk around with their eyes closed, they would still be able to find the other person.

Another thing about his silly secretary which increasingly annoys him is her strange behavior. She and her family think him crazy. But he has a suspicion that besides being not too bright his secretary is not that right in the head either!

She treats him like he has a leper or something, she repeatedly orders him to stay away from her and even dares to shout that order at him when he tries to check what makes her coffee so horrible!He’s been trying to be patient but the silly crazy girl has gone way too far!

Furiously he shouts at her from the top of his lungs whether she has lost her mind.

When she lamely tries to defend herself that he has scared her by his sudden appearance so close to her, he angrily tells her that he must have been too lenient with her and that’s why she dares to overstep her boundaries. What does she think she’s doing yelling at him her boss like that?! He isn’t her friend. He’s her boss!

Unfortunately after getting riled like that he bumps into another crazy person not long after that. That bastard JW is still lurking around Eun Young’s office.

Irritably he asks JW who glares at him and rudely tells him to watch where he goes, how could he be so rude to him now when just last night he hugged him so tightly. The bastard didn’t even remember that incident. He’s too preoccupied and looks like he’s seen a scary ghost.

The ghost that he’s running away from turns out to be Eun Young’s grandfather.

The old man is a formidable one. He’s a no nonsense type who wouldn’t take kindly to that bastard pestering his granddaughter like that. Seeing how scared JW is, they’ve probably met and he got the tongue lashing he so much deserved.

The old man confirms that he did meet JW here yesterday and again today. He lets him know that Eun Young’s dad wants them to be together because their families are closed but he doesn’t like JW.

He’s glad that at least one person in Eun Young’s family is against their relationship for hearing that her father likes JW makes him uncomfortable.

And then Eun Young’s grandfather manages to shock him by asking whether he has any idea how to stop JW from bothering Eun Young.

Sincerely he informs the old man that he doesn’t think there’s a way to get rid of him because JW could only focus at one thing at a time. And once he sets his mind to it it’s really hard to shake him off of it.

The old man looks disappointed but determinedly he says that since there’s no other way, Eun Young just has to meet someone and get married soon.

His heart feels like it’s been dropped into a bucket of freezing water. Whatever little happiness he experienced earlier hearing that the old man doesn’t like JW disappears without a trace now.

‘He comes by like that because she doesn’t date anyone else since their engagement ended. We need to set her up on a date with someone. Or something.’

Then suspiciously the old man asks him whether he says something unfavorable about marriage that influences Eun Young’s opinion on the matter since she seems to have no interest what so ever in marriage. Stunned, he quickly denies it.

Just as quickly the old man change the subject. But he feels very nervous. No wonder JW run like that. He wants to run away too if he could. And then Eun Young comes. Cautiously he looks at her but she studiously refuses to look at him and focuses her attention to her grandfather.

Right after she sits the old man asks her whether lawyer Park called her after he received her number from her aunt. That’s when uncomfortably she looks at him. He couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable too. He is not sure whether the old man does it on purpose. Probably he does.

When he gets back into his apartment Eun Young has already waiting on the line. She wants to find out what he discussed with her grandfather before she joined them. He tells her that they only talked about his upcoming book. When she insists to know whether it’s really only that he tells her it is. But he also has something he wants to know from her.

So, casually he asks her, ‘Are you going to go to those arranged dates?’

He can hear how carefully she answer his question when she says it’s not just ordinary arrange dates, because it’ll be dates she agrees on. The older generation worries about things like that a lot. She’ll humor them and ease their concern. And then she asks him back the reason why he wants to know. Can’t she attend those dates?

Lamely he says that it just doesn’t suit her.

She replies that to him perhaps what suits her best is for her to live alone while raising cats. That’s too harsh. He tells her so. But apparently she’s in no mood to be soothed and sentimental. With calm and all business like voice she lets him know her thoughts on the things that make them fight in the morning.

And he listens to every word she says with the utmost attention.

‘As the President of this publishing company I need to let you know what I think about my author wanting to end his contract with me. It doesn’t matter what I say, whether I agree or disagree, Lee Jin Soo will leave. But, I can’t lose my star author, Lee Jin Soo. So, I’ll wait for you.’

‘In a couple of years you’ll be back with a book on your hands and I can’t let you go to other publishing company with another best seller. We’ll make money together then. Letting you go is neither good nor bad for this company. Either way, you’ll come back and resign a new contract with us with a ready product. This is my point of view as the President.’

Carefully he asks her point of view from another perspective. He knows what her answer will be but he still can’t stop hoping for something different. Before cutting off the connection she coldly tells him what he has known all along:

‘I have told you what I think of Lee Jin Soo. He’s a lost cause.’

What did he expect, that’s Eun Young. He automatically smiles because her ability to do what one has to do and being practical are parts of her characters that he really admires.

But his smile only last a second because it hurts. No matter how much his mind admires her decisiveness his heart disagrees. Not that it surprises him for when it comes to Eun Young that traitor has its own mind.

However, he won’t let that traitor dictates his action. Like Eun Young he also has the ability to do what he should do when he has to do it. But first thing first.

He gives his secretary a new assignment. To think of ways to get rid of JW out of Eun Young’s life once and for all. When she protests he reminds her that she’s the one who complains that he never gives her other task except making his coffee and sharpening his pencils.

Now, he finally gives her a chance to do something else, to create a scenario. Since she’s good at making things up she should be able to do it. It’s also her chance to learn how to write under his supervision. He’ll give her an hour before reading them to him.

After more than an hour she comes to him with her first silly idea. Finding a new woman for JW. A beautiful one.

Irritably he asks her whether she knows any beautiful woman, one who is more stunning, more beautiful than President Soe and whether she has the ability to set a date between them and whether that woman would do it for nothing. Does she know that JW’s standards are beyond her limited imagination. His eyes are right up there beyond those clouds in the sky.

And does she think that JW is that obsessed with President Soe Eun Young because he couldn’t find a beautiful woman out there? What woman does she think could win him over and make him forget Eun Young?

Didn’t she take notice of what he did before he writes? He did a number of interviews to collect data and information!

After three more hours she comes back with her second silly idea. Fortune teller! The girl is really hopeless. He’s beyond mad now.

‘You asked for more time and I gave you three hours and you came up with fortune teller? Is your brain not working? Is it empty? You should have a smaller head if you don’t have brain. A reptile has a small brain but it knows when to feel bad once it did something dumb. Don’t you even realize how stupid your idea is?’

She might be foolish but she knows how to defend herself well. She quickly tells him that by now she knows him well enough. She knows that the reason why he assigned this assignment to her is because there’s no other way to accomplish that goal. If there is a way he would have found it and done it himself.

When she catches him smiling she asks him whether her accusation is correct. So he tells her that he’s a suspense writer not a dating expert like her. As a dating expert she should be able to come up with a good romantic plot to get rid of JW. She’d better tell him her third idea. It couldn’t be worse than that fortune teller one.

He rarely wrong, but her third idea is actually the worst one. Finding Eun Young a fake boyfriend is bad enough. She than compounds it by suggesting that the most appropriate person to be her fake boyfriend is him. His heart flips a few times before settling into a rapid beat.

She reasons that JW would believe it because he’s already suspicious that there’s something between them. He only needs to see them do things that lovers do with his own eyes.

When he asks her what kind of thing that JW needs to see, is it a bed scene? His crazy secretary vehemently says no. This is what he gets for having a far from bright secretary. But stupid as she is he hopes she could see how strongly he opposes her last idea!

Once he gets back to work he lost track of time and doesn’t realize that it’s eight already until Eun Young calls to invite him to come to her office. As he’s right in the middle of a complicated plot he offers to come down in an hour but she insists on seeing him now.

On his way out he tells his secretary that she could go home now. Instead of quickly leave she just stands there fidgeting with a very strange expression on her face. The girl has become weirder and weirder by the minute.

But she’s not the only one behaving strangely.

Eun Young is extremely happy when she sees him. She greets him with great warmth. Affectionately she links his arm into hers, leads him to her side table, gives him a glass of expensive red wine then drags him to her own working table.

All the while ignoring his question of what this is all about. From time to time when she isn’t angry with him or when he’s done something that pleased her or simply when she’s happy, she’ll drop formality and treat him affectionately. But never like this.

Curiously as he looks at her who is sitting demurely on her sofa like a happy cat he asks her what’s wrong. Innocently she looks back and utters: ‘What?’ He lets her know that he could see there’s something wrong here so she’d better tell him what it is.

‘Tell you what?’ That question is said in a very feminine voice accompanied by a seductive pout. ‘Cant’ I just have a drink and chat with you? You’re not busy with your writing anyway.’

She never pouts. Let alone seductively. He tries once again: ‘Tell me.’

Instead of answering his question she stands up while saying, ‘Tell you what?’ before taking away his wine glass. With that seductive smile she moves closer. His heart feels like it might burst when she raises her hand and caresses his hair while softly murmuring that she didn’t realize that he has such a beautiful hair.

He quickly jerks his head back but he couldn’t move away. Not when he sits on her table with her standing between his spreading legs like that. He watches her suspiciously and fearfully. The way she smiles, looks at him, moves ever so closer to him……….

If he thought what he most feared in this world is for her to find out the truth about his marriage, he’s wrong. Right now, he’s more afraid of her than anything else!

Her stunningly beautiful face is right in front of his. Breathing suddenly becomes a difficult task. He has to concentrate just to force his lungs to work properly. Thinking has become impossible. He barely hears her when she says that JW is watching and then in the same breath orders him not to raise his eyebrows.

He needs to put some distance between them.

So when what she said finally registers he tries to turn away from her to look at the window behind her back. But because of his action instead of just lightly caressing his hair like before, both of her hands are touching his face now holding his head imprisoned between her hands.

He has a very good control of his mind and emotions. But he sorely doubts his excellent mastery of himself could stay that way when it also has to battle the effects of her physical closeness. This is a sheer torture.

He’s very much aware of her wandering hands which move down from his face to his collar and then move back up again to lightly touch his cheeks. He could barely speak that he could only choke ‘What…’ to protest her advances. He needs time to collect his scattering wits.

Luckily she talks. It gives him a distraction he desperately needs.

She explains that she saw the scenario made by his secretary and liked the third option most. Unfortunately even when she talks her hands keep on moving and lightly caressing him. He needs to get away from her. So he turns his head away again. And once again she grabs his head back and turns it to look directly at her.

Cheerfully she informs him how much she likes using Lee Jin Soo as her boyfriend. Then she proceeds to lovingly caress his hair and play with his collar. In a soft voice she tells him that she knows the reason why he orders his secretary to write that scenario. It’s because he wants to help her.

He’s rather proud of himself when he could admit in a steady voice that he did want to help her but he doesn’t want to use such a silly method. Her hands keep their wandering while she reasons with him prettily.

‘How is it foolish? This method is the most realistic one amongst those three and the most likely to succeed. As a superior you have to make an objective judgment. You aren’t allowed to have your personal feelings stand in the way of making a good decision. You just hate the fact that we have to pretend to be a couple, right?’

Now, he doesn’t even have a voice to deny her accusation. With dread he watches her putting her finger into her mouth, do that pout he never knows she can do, then using that very wet finger to softly caress his face before moving down to caress the side of his neck.

And when that finger reaches his collar it soon joins by her other fingers which she promptly uses to unbutton his shirt. Like a fool he follows every movement of her fingers on his buttons.

Her voice is whispery soft and seductively lethal that he could only stares as she tells him that she isn’t the one to be blamed for this, because this isn’t her idea. It’s his and his secretary’s.

While his heart and head are at war, she playfully sticks her tongue at the corner of her mouth then proceeds to undress him in earnest. Smiling she mumbles that the watching JW is probably quite mad by now.

When her hands reach his waist he snatches it away and detains it in a firm grip. With a pretty pout she asks him what does he think he’s doing, doesn’t he know that they can’t let JW see that they’re only pretending. With dread he asks her how far she wants to go with this scene.

It’s not JW who is becoming mad. It’s him!

Smiling, she tells him that they have to make it real otherwise JW won’t believe it. His body tenses automatically. His heart beats erratic beats that hurts his chest. In disbelief he asks her whether she wants to continue. And in horror he listens when she says ‘Of course.’

No! No!!

His tense body is frozen now. He’s never been this afraid in his entire life. He’s even afraid to ask his next question. He’s afraid of her answer. But he needs to know. Almost choking he finally asks: ‘How far?’

Smiling once again she says that she and his secretary think that they should at the very least kiss. The problem is she’s still unsure about what kind of kiss they should do.

Dear God! She’s killing him!

He needs to get a good grip of himself. He can’t lose control. Like she said he shouldn’t let his feelings stand in the way when he’s in dire need to think clearly, objectively.

But despite what she says why she’s doing this, he still wants to know whether she wants them to kiss simply because she wants JW to see it. When she enthusiastically nods in answer to his question he refuses to acknowledge that he feels even a slight disappointment.

More determine and afraid now he once again tries to change her mind about their kissing scene. And once again she says of course they have to kiss. This time he’s no longer just frozen. He really turns into a mute statue.

With cajoling voice and teasing smile she teases him that this is so unlike him. Her words manage to penetrate his frozen mind a little. With a forced smile he asks her what kind of kiss does she want to have.

‘This kind.’

Without warning while smiling seductively she pushes him backward so he half lies on her table while she crawls on its surface and onto the top of his stiff body. Her fingers are back at his already half open shirt.

If he has a heart problem he might die of a heart attack. He can no longer breath. He doesn’t even dare moving a muscle. With fear he watches her smiling face that is only a breath away from his.

The whole ordeal has turned him into a nervous wreck, completely incapable to think of a way out. A part of him is no longer sure that he even wants a way out.

As they look at each other in that very compromising position her smile slowly disappears. He briefly looks at her perfect lips and in a barely audible voice orders her to kiss him. When she just stares he asks her why she doesn’t kiss him.

Not that he really wants her to kiss him!

In answer she asks him back whether he’s letting her kissing him. He advices her that since she has pushed him to lie on her desk not to mention the fact that she’s already right on top of him, she might as well kiss him now.

She quickly replies that as she’s been the one who does all the work, it’s his turn now to do the kissing. Just as quickly he disputes that by asking her who says so. Her eyebrows wrinkle in displeasure. Then after a moment, in disbelief she asks him whether he’s angry now, because if he is, he has no right to be angry. She’s the one who has the right to be angry, not him.

‘If you want to help me you have to do it properly. You always do things I don’t want you to do and you never do things that I want you to do. I’m not grateful at all. If you really want to help me, do what I want and not the thing I don’t want. Have I ever asked for your help before?’

Her words touch him. He knows when to concede defeat when he sees one. Not that he’s happy about it but like she said, she never asks for his help before. So he asks her what she wants. Whether the one thing that she wants from him is a kiss that she’ll never forget. When she says yes he slowly challenges her whether she’s sure that’s what she wants. Again she says yes.

This time, after he’s absolutely positive that he has to do what she wants, he looks at her speculatively. He can see that she wants this desperately. She wants them to fool that bastard once and for all. Her wish is his command, but he really can’t kiss her!

He knows that if he kisses her that would be the end of his charade.

As they look at each other measuring the strength and determination of the other party time ceases to fly. Unfortunately it stops at this very unfortunate circumstance where they happen to be stuck in this extremely awkward position.

Or worst. Like her who happens to be right on top of him in a very provoking position without having his cooperation.

He can see that her lips start to tremble and she’s about to falter and concede defeat herself. She looks so dishearten that his mind works furiously for a way out that would give her what she wants and let him keep his secret.

‘Then let’s do it my way. I don’t like the way it’s done.’

He quickly gets up from his half lying position, hugs her and pushes her down from the table. Then he turns and sweeps everything on the top of her table off to the floor. Right after that he grabs her body, lies her flat on her back on the now empty table with him on top of her and raises her leg to his waist before slowly lowering his body to completely cover hers.

He smiles at her while she could only stares at him in shock. She couldn’t even move. She couldn’t even speak. She could do nothing but helplessly lies there beneath his body. After looking at her for a few moments he lets her leg go and raises his body away from her.

As he stands up he moves away from the table. Purposely he poses right in front of the window while he opens his belt. Let JW sees that he has his belt completely opened right before shutting the blinds off.

As soon as they can’t be seen he quickly puts his belt on. His fingers are shaking so badly that the simple task has become a challenge. But cheerfully he tells Eun Young that they don’t have to put themselves into trouble. It’s better to leave that bastard to imagine things because his imagination might even be worst than what they could do.

If only he could see whether that bastard has fainted now either from shock or anger.

Carefully he peeps through the blinds and sees that JW isn’t alone. There’s someone else with him who witness the whole thing. When he informs Eun Young of the possibility of a scandal she doesn’t even raise an eye brow.

‘A scandal? So what if a scandal breaks out? You’ll continue to be popular and any rumor about me will soon be forgotten.’

He tries once again to see what JW is doing but he can see nothing so he turns back to Eun Young and while he quickly buttons back his half open shirt quite casually he asks her whether she has had her dinner yet. And if she hasn’t whether she wants to have dinner together.

His attempt to brush everything off and act normal as if nothing unusual has happened doesn’t work for Eun Young refuses to cooperate. Exhaling deeply she compliments his quick thinking. Grudgingly admitting that his method is much better.

And then in frustration berates herself for her inability to act decisively just like what he did. He briefly wonders whether she regrets the fact that she didn’t kiss him right away.

Quietly she apologizes for what happened hence telling him that she takes full responsibility for the whole thing even though she said it’s his and his secretary’s doing. Rather sadly, she hopes he could understand that she did what she did because she’s terribly afraid that she can’t continue living having JW constantly bothering her and ruining her life.

He can hear the pain behind her words despite her efforts to sound unaffected. He suspects it is mostly caused by what had happened between them instead of JW and it bothers him but as he doesn’t want to analyze it he chooses to believe what she says.

When she wonders about what she should do now, he lets her knows what he’s always thought of her. That Soe Eun Young would quickly bounce back no matter what happens to her. She takes a deep breath before repeating what he says about her and rather heavily agreeing that his opinion of her is correct.

The problem is he could only hear sadness in her voice that tells him although she bounces back whatever pain she keeps in her heart remains. She might look strong on the outside but on the inside she suffers a lot. More than other people he understands what she says. He understands the pain one has to endure while pretending to be strong.

But she quickly collects herself and informs him in a much firmer voice that she doesn’t feel like having dinner for she fears that she might choke if she eats. She lets him know that she’s never been more afraid than when he cleared off her table like that.

With a force laugh he informs her that he was only acting, and the act was so exaggerated that he even stabbed his own hand with her pen. Then he quickly makes his exit. He doesn’t want her to start questioning his injured hand. And he doesn’t want to stay a minute longer there. Coward that he is.

He’s rather surprised when he finds his silly secretary is still in his apartment. But it’s easy to guess that she wants to know how her scenario works. Brusquely he orders her to go home.

He needs to get back to work to forget the whole thing. To pretend that it didn’t happen. That there’s nothing change between them. That he doesn’t notice how much the whole thing has affected Eun Young.

He only has a few days of hard work and solitude before everything goes South on his birthday.

He ignores Eun Young’s people who ring at his door with their gifts. He also tries to turn a deaf ear when a commotion breaks out on the street below. But those people keep their fight longer than he thought that impatiently he goes to look out of his window.

That’s when he sees his foolish crazy secretary walking down the street with balloons and every horrible thing that one usually finds in a birthday party.

Damn it! Now, he has to leave his own apartment like a thief. He runs away to one of the convenient stores nearby and buys a few cans of beers and snacks before calling his crazy secretary from a phone booth. He firmly orders her to clean his apartment of any decoration at once. If he finds any balloon when he comes back he’ll fire her immediately.

She tries to argue that since it’s his birthday he has to enjoy it and not just working like what he must have been doing. Sharply he tells her that he doesn’t like this kind of thing. She’d better be done and be gone when he comes back. She has exactly five minutes to clean up her mess.

But when he’s about to go back the rain falls. Resigned to his fate he opens one of his cans and starts drinking. Suddenly, he hears a familiar voice.

‘I was thinking that it can’t be Lee Jin Soo. But it really is Lee Jin Soo. What are you doing there?’

Pleasantly surprised he looks at Eun Young who stands with an umbrella outside his phone booth.

‘I can’t stay at home and I couldn’t leave here because it started to rain so suddenly. You really are my savior.’

Smiling smugly she says: ‘I’ve always been your savior.’

He hasn’t seen her after that night in her office three days ago. He’s glad that she looks like her perky normal self. On second thought, she sounds a little bit too upbeat. And there’s a hint of red on her cheek bones.

‘Where did you come from? It looks like you’ve been drinking.’

She lets him know that she drunk after signing a new big contract. When she asks him to go out so they could leave she criticizes his anti social behavior.

How could he drink alone in a phone booth. Is he by any chance celebrating his birthday. The famous Lee Jin Soo who has millions of fans is drinking here all by himself. She informs him that he looks pitiful.

He looks at her in surprise.

‘I thought you don’t know it’s my birthday.’

‘Since I know that you’re happy when nobody knows your birthday I pretend that I don’t know.’

He lets her know how much he appreciates her understanding and knowledge of him and complains about his stupid secretary who doesn’t know a thing but insists on holding a birthday party for him. Regardless of the fact that he already told her not to. And that’s why he ends up here.

Instead of sympathizing with him, she comes to his secretary defense telling him that there’s nothing wrong with his secretary. His secretary is just being normal. Because that’s what normal people do when someone who is close to them have their birthday.

‘I’m the one who isn’t normal for in order to fit with your idiosyncrasy I’ve become queer too. It’s my best friend birthday and yet I can’t even give you gift. I can’t even congratulate you.’

Smiling he tells her that he doesn’t like congratulation but he loves gifts. As long as those gifts don’t come with cards. And he would love to have a gift from her.

For a moment she just stands there outside the phone booth holding her umbrella looking like she’s just heard something a keen to ten commandments. But in the next instant she dumps her umbrella and comes inside the phone booth to give him his gift.

The moment she puts her arms around him, the moment her lips touch his, he lost it.

He no longer remembers that he doesn’t want her to know that he loves her. He no longer feels all the pains that he keeps hidden and buried deep inside. His hell disappears into nothingness along with his wits and will power. He’s been transported into heaven.

Completely drunk and overwhelmed by these intoxicating feelings that come from being in her arms, helplessly he kisses her back.

When she pulls back in surprise he is still very much lost in that heaven. He knows that if she doesn’t stop he wouldn’t have the strength to walk away from her. Not, when all he ever wants in this world is to be in her arms just like that. The realization comes to him in a slow motion. But it comes with all its horrifying implications.

He just made his second biggest mistake!

When he slowly opens his eyes she’s been looking at him with confusion and shock. Whatever her intention was now he could see that she never thought he would kiss her back. Not, like that. Dear God, he needs to say something. Quick.

Without looking at her he says the first thing that comes into his mind. Falteringly he tells her that her gift is a little bit too much. Then as his head gets clearer and the horrible implication of his mistake starts to dawn on him he asks her whether this kiss is part of his secretary’s scenario. Whether JW is spying on them somewhere nearby.

He knows he’s being ridiculous. He knows what a coward he is. He knows he has turned into a big jerk. But he has no choice. He can’t let her think too much of that kiss and starts to analyze it. He can’t let her comes to the most obvious conclusion that he loves her!

Her expression when she hears what he says conveys that that’s exactly what she thinks of him. Without a word she turns away and leaves.

What should he do now? He doesn’t think she would believe that he kissed her for JW’s benefit. She knows him more than anybody else on earth to understand that he never does anything that he doesn’t want to do. And he has made it pretty clear that he doesn’t want to do that kissing scene.

He doesn’t quite remember how he kissed her for his brain stopped working at that moment. But with the way he feels for her, with how much he loves her he’s bound to reveal something in his kiss. He’s very much afraid that he kissed her with all the love and tenderness that he keeps hidden deep inside. She’s not going to believe that he feels nothing for her!

As he walks back in the rain his mind works in circle. He’s no longer aware of his surroundings. If his secretary doesn’t keep talking about him being soaked in the rain he doesn’t think he would even know that she has come looking for him with two umbrellas.

What should he do now? There’s nothing he can do. It’s so frustrating. Even when drying his hair after changing his cloth he still remembers how colossally he’s ruined everything!

He might continue to be in this state if those people don’t ambush him and drag him downstairs. Unfortunately, although they manage to stop him from calling himself a fool they bring him to a situation where he has to face the consequences of his stupidity.

The moment he sees Eun Young and hears those people telling them to blow his birthday candles together he wishes he could be somewhere else. From her face he could see that she feels exactly the same.

To make matter worse someone asks her whether she knows that today is his birthday. And when she says she’s too busy to remember it then awkwardly says ‘Happy birthday writer’ they question him whether she has given him a gift.

Since he is her star author and she forgets his birthday they tell him that he shouldn’t settle for regular gift. He must demand something special. An extraordinary special gift from the President. He could see that her face turns crimson. So he quickly says that he’ll just pretend that he has accepted that gift. Now, her face turns even redder.

She decides to hide in the toilets to avoid him. Unfortunately he didn’t see it when she’s leaving so they end up bumping with each other in that closed little space. She blames him for coming to the ladies until he points out that it’s actually the gent’s. And when she wants to go out they have to actually tell each other which way one is going to take.

This awkwardness is so bad that he doesn’t think he could take it anymore. He couldn’t just pretend that they don’t kiss when every time they meet that kiss will automatically pop in their heads. He needs time to find a way to solve this problem. Perhaps if he hides from her for a couple of days he’ll come up with something.

But he should have known that today isn’t his day.

When he squeezes himself in between the almost closed elevator’s door the one who’s already inside is the very one he desperately wants to avoid. From the way her eyes widen it’s clear that she doesn’t want to see him either. Arrgh, he feels like punching something.

They both try to make a joke of their unfortunate encounters. That it’s actually not that easy to continuously have these awkward meetings. And how the awkward level between them would escalate if this elevator suddenly stops functioning and they’re stuck here together. Fortunately for them, this one works just fine.

Well, just as he finishes his sentence the elevator stops.

Horrified, he starts yelling for the operator and the guard and whoever is out there to open the door. When nobody answers his calls for rescue he once again tries to make light of their situation by joking about its awkwardness. She agrees and points out that even every wall of this elevator is just awkward.

He can’t take this anymore! They can’t continue like this! So, he attacks her.

‘Don’t you think this is too much of a coincidence? Whether it’s the elevator or the phone booth, both have the same shape. Do you by any chance harbor fantasies in closed up spaces? Did you tell them to lock us in together?’

She looks beyond mad. If looks can kill he would die the instance she glares at him.

Quickly, he withdraws his accusation and tells her that he’s sure this is just a coincidence. But angrily he continues that she’s the one who attacked him and forced herself upon him and now she dares to act like she’s the victim, when he is the victim here.

She practically yells when she says ‘What victim?!’

Equally angry he yells back at her:

‘What do you mean what victim? I was doing nothing but drinking my own beer when you suddenly crushed my lips. I was about to forget the whole thing but you’re making it difficult by being immature and shameful.’

Now she’s too angry to even speak. When she finally finds her voice she counters his statement resentfully. How could he be the victim. He’s being ridiculous. That kiss they did, it was done by two persons. She wasn’t the only one doing the kissing for he kissed her back.

When he maintains his stance and just glares at her she becomes furious and shouts at him, ‘What are you looking at? Did I say something wrong?’

Of course she doesn’t but he can’t relent. Gritting his teeth he says the most insulting thing that he could ever say to her in this instance. She might never consider him as a man but he is. He was only reacting to his instincts as a man.

She almost chokes with anger when she says, ‘Instincts?’

He knows he goes too far with that last line. Fortunately, the door opens at that precise moment. He makes a quick dash for it. But just as quickly she grabs his shirt and drags him back inside while punching the number for the roof top.

He isn’t quite sure how he feels. A part of him says let’s get this thing done and over with. The other part is scared to death.

‘Let’s talk. No matter how awkward it is let’s seriously talk about it. We should stop beating around the bushes and start talking directly about it. Let me talk first. I….’

He cuts her sharply, ‘Let me talk first.’

‘Tell me, are you the president of the publishing company or my friend? Do you want to earn some money from me or do you want to have fun with me? Do you hate me or do you like me?'

'To me Soe Eun Young only has one meaning. But you could never seem to understand that. This is really too much for me. I think we should clarify our relationship once and for all.’

For a moment before answering his question she looks at him like he’s a stranger that she never knows.

‘I am the president of the publishing company but I’m also your friend. Yes, I want to make money with you but I also want us to have fun together. There were times when I hated you so much that I wanted you to die but there were also times when I really really liked you. What should I do then?’

He looks at her and lets her know that she can’t break the rule like that. She looks right back at him when she asks him who makes that rule and why can’t she be both. He could only shortly say she can’t. She has to choose one role only.

When she talks to him beseechingly he has to constantly remind himself that he needs to do this if he doesn’t want to hurt her any further. But listening to the things she says doesn’t help his resolution.

It reveals how much she has accommodated his needs all these years, of how much she holds back just to make him comfortable. In order to make him happy she has become unhappy.

‘Which one should I choose? Is it the one where I become a friend that you can use because that’s the one you’d be most comfortable with? Why do I have to follow just what you want? Human relationship changes no matter how long it has lasted nor how many hardships it has gone through. That’s the way it is. Things change'

'Why do I have to spend my whole life worrying about you that if you don’t come back it means that you’re dead and that you’ll never come back. I always give you all my patience and understanding, sacrificing my needs for yours. I can’t do that anymore. I don’t want to. Please don’t ask me to be what makes you most comfortable with'

'Starting from today I want to live my life fully. The way I want it to. I’m a very greedy person. You know that don’t you? I can choose not only two but three roles at the same time. I can be the president of the publishing company and your friend and I can be something else as well. Can’t I?’

It’s hard to reject her particularly when every part of him shouts yes. When he feels nothing but love and admiration for her courage and honesty. When he wants to tell her that if only he could he also wants to change so that he can make her happy. But he can’t.

So he says she can’t. When she asks him why he almost can’t say it. The words get stuck in his throat.

‘I…..never thought about you that way.’

That makes her pause for a moment before imploring him not to lie.

‘Please don’t lie. Aren’t you tired of lying?’

Harshly he informs her that he isn’t lying. He’s telling her the truth. The look on her face tells him that she doesn't believe him. But it also conveys another emotion that he can't quite determine. Once again she tries pleadingly, ‘When do you plan to stop lying?’

Coldly he tells her that he isn’t lying. That kiss which she makes a big deal of is nothing but male instincts. This time she could only stand there and look at him with wounded eyes. He tries to hold her gaze steadily but he couldn’t.

‘I’m speechless. If what you say is true then I don’t know what to say.’

Visibly shaken now she tries to hold her composure.

‘This is very embarrassing. Very embarrassing. The most embarrassing thing today is this.’

He can’t watch her falling apart. He tries to avert his eyes from her face. But not before he sees her expressions, the look on her face. And when he turns his back he could still hear her quivering voice. He could still hear her taking a deep breath.

He could feel how much she hurts behind her words. The words that she says softly. Steadily. No longer pleading. No longer begging.

‘I get it. I won’t ever bother you again and just be a good friend for you. That’s what you want right? For me to be what I’ve been for these past ten years.’

He knows her heart is breaking into pieces but after finishing her words she quietly leaves him without shedding a tear or blaming him for forcing her to do what he wants once again.

God, it hurts so much. His heart is breaking into a million pieces for breaking her heart like that. He raises his face towards the vast darkness high above to block the tears that are pooling in his eyes. He blinks a few times to stop them from falling down on his face.

But he can’t stop his bleeding heart.

How did he end up hurting her like this? He knows more than she does how difficult and painful it is to pretend to be just friend with someone you love. How hard it is to put a smile on your face in front of the one you love when your heart aches. To repress your love and pretend that it never exists.

He knows that she’s strong but even if she pulls it off it doesn’t mean that she isn’t hurt. Every little smile she gives him, every little friendly gesture she does will cost her dearly. He knows everything about it yet he forces his precious Eun Young to experience that hell.

He knows that from now on he can never let his guard slip. Not even a little. He has to play the indifferent and selfish Jin Soo to the hilt. He could never again show his concern for her.

However, his resolution is soon forgotten when he finds out from her staff that they couldn’t find her.

She’s been missing for four days now. Nobody knows where she is because they couldn’t contact her. He remembers her looks that night. Yes, she’s terribly hurt. But she’s not the type to do foolish thing. Still, he’s sick with worry.

His worry turns into something else much uglier after he heard JW’s accusation that every woman around him ends badly. When he leaves his message on her phone telling her not to make everyone else sick with worry and to give them a call, he remembers that that’s exactly his words when he called the missing HS.

He doesn’t think Eun Young would ever do something stupid. Where ever she is now, she would be all right. But knowing something and feeling something aren’t the same.
He could do nothing. He can’t concentrate on anything. He can’t even breath properly.

He remembers that day they went looking for HS everywhere and when they finally found her body. He remembers how he replayed all HS’s calls after their divorce. Listening to what she had to say when she could no longer say anything.

He remembers she asked him how could he be so happy after their divorce when she couldn’t even seem to move on. He remembers her telling him how bad he was for using her like that.

He could never freely love Eun Young because of HS. He could never forget that he kills HS because he loves Eun Young. His guilt is killing him. And it’s probably will kill Eun Young too if she ever finds out.

He’s trapped in this hell. But he would never let Eun Young experiences it. He could bear this pain but he couldn’t bear it if she has to suffer what he suffers.

When his secretary comes and wakes him up from his nightmare he asks her to check whether he's received any message for he doesn’t have the courage to check it himself.

He knows that Eun Young would be fine but….

He needs to get out, he needs to eat, he hasn’t eaten since he learnt that she’s missing.

As they walk on the street he asks his secretary to choose what they should eat for breakfast. The silly girl looks flattered by that order. Only God knows why she should be.

'Do you think I ask you what do you want to eat is because of your sake? I just have no interest in deciding what to eat. That's why whatever order you make will do.'

She hastily names her choice, and then her phone rings. He immediately stops because he has a hunch that it’s from Eun Young’s people. And it’s her people all right. They ask his secretary to tell him that the President has come back to work.

The moment he hears that she’s back he can no longer pretend that he doesn’t care. He needs to see her. He needs to see her himself. He needs to look with his own eyes that she’s all right. God, he needs to see her. Immediately. Now.

His weak body no longer feels its fatigue. His breaking bleeding heart suddenly heals and pumps vigorously as he runs like crazy. He runs as fast as he could. As if his life depends upon it. He runs towards his reason to live. Towards the only person who matters most to him but he has hurt without mercy.

He still can’t believe his eyes when he sees her standing in that meeting room . But his beating heart tells him that he isn’t dreaming. It’s so full of happiness at being able to be in the same room with its reason for beating. His eyes are glued to her face trying to memorize every line and details without missing any.

When she is being informed that he’s coming she turns around to look at him and gracefully comes to open the door to talk to him. In panic he raises his hand to stop her signaling that he’s about to leave and she should continue her meeting. She looks at him in question, nods, and follows his wish to continue her meeting.

He doesn’t go directly and just stands there looking at her for a few moments. His eyes sweep over his precious Eun Young lovingly and longingly, conveying all the love he feels inside.

Telling her things that he couldn’t tell her with his own mouth. Now that he’s seen her, now that he knows that she’s all right his body finally registers all that it has suffered during her absence.

His last thought before he lost his consciousness is that he really can’t live without her.

When he comes around his silly secretary almost calls 119 and lets everyone else know that he’s collapsed. He weakly tells her not to alert everyone and after writing a prescription for himself he orders her to go and get it.

When she comes back and couldn’t quickly wake him up she looks like she’s about to have a panic attack. Derisively he asks her why didn’t she do another CPR on him.

Standing by his bed side she openly gawks as he starts to treat himself before finally asks him how did he know so much about writing prescription and inserting a needle into one’s vein.

He asks her back how could his own secretary doesn’t know about his educational background. It takes her awhile before she remembers that he’s graduated from a medical school. That he’s actually a doctor.

When Eun Young calls he orders his secretary to tell her that he isn’t in. He doesn’t want to talk to Eun Young. He doesn’t have the energy right now.

He needs to rest in peace, so he orders his secretary to leave. Hesitantly she leaves. But in her stead she sends her grandmother to fuss over him. He should have known that was very unlike her when she went out without a protest.

Angrily he calls his crazy secretary but that girl has the nerves to pretend that she can’t hear him even after he tells her that he’ll fire her if she doesn’t come back and fetch her grandmother.

But despite his anger at her and her middling grandmother he has to admit that her coming over does help. His empty stomach has finally had its fill.

When she returns furiously he asks her whether her father knows that it’s his daughter who is crazy and not him. But the girl takes his anger blithely. And when she says that he should call her whenever he feels bored or gets sick and that he shouldn’t suffer by himself he is deeply touched.

She might be a bit crazy, far from bright, has too much interest in things that isn’t her business but he knows she means well.

He was already sleeping when his phone rings and Eun Young calls again. She wants to come up and see him. He tries to stop her by telling her that he’s busy so she should just say what she wants to say over the phone.

But she insists on seeing him in person for she has something to tell him. He has no other choice but to get up, open the door just wide enough to talk to her and hide his IV.

When in confusion she asks him whether he isn’t going to invite her in, he repeats that he’s busy. And when she incredulously asks whether he’s not even going to give her a cup of coffee, he shortly tells her to go home to get some then pointedly asks her what does she want.

Disappointedly she tells him that she heard he was worried about her but from the way he treats her it doesn’t seem that he was. He admits glibly that he was but now that she’s here everything is settled, there’s no big deal. If that’s what she comes up to talk about, it’s done.

Eun Young is not Eun Young is she can’t be straight forward particularly if she’s being treated unfairly.

She points out how ridiculous it is for him to treat her this way since she is the one who is hurt and humiliated for being rejected, why did he become the one who’s avoiding her.

He denies her accusation and curtly tells her to go back because he has to go back to work and his secretary is waiting.

She says nothing after that and just leaves, but unknowingly she pays back his harsh treatment the next day.

He is already recovered and about to do his daily activities when her assistant comes up to hand over their contract agreement in which she terminates their contract.

He’s the one who asked for it but when he actually sees it he knows that he can’t let her legally severe their relationship, the only thing that binds them together.

So he quickly looks for her and meets her in the park. She looks cheerful and all smiles while commenting about the hot weather. Grimly he asks her what this is all about.

She refuses to be influenced by his dark mood and suggests him to sit down and drink first before explaining that what he sees is correct. She wants to end their contract. This is what she wanted to talk to him when she came to see him yesterday.

They have done what they’re supposed to do.

He tries to protest but she cuts him off, telling him that she finally figures it out that he chooses to write for her because he thinks he owes her. But besides being her publisher she is also his friend and as such she doesn’t want to use their relationship to force him to work. She has her pride too.

Her conclusion shocks him. He never thought that she would consider his erratic behaviors while working for her were the result of his feeling indebted towards her. But then again what other conclusion could she draw?

How could she know that when he was being nice to her that was because he really wanted to be nice to her, because sometimes even when he wanted to be bad he just couldn’t. And when he was being mean that was because he wanted to put a barrier between them, because there were times when he didn’t think he could continue with his charade.

With dread he listens to her quoting what he said about her charms that she’s good at bouncing back no matter what happens to her and now she wants to bounce back to the beginning.

He tries to protest by reminding her that now is their beginning.

She argues that the beginning was when they first met, when they were neither friends nor business partner. Just acquaintances who sometimes meet to talk and laugh together. She just realizes that he never changes. She is the one who is changed.

Unfortunately, she doesn’t think that they could go back to the day before his birthday. She regrets that, but she can’t do anything about it now. She can’t turn back the time.

This is the best she can do. She feels bad that she couldn’t be that great Soe Eun Young that he wants her to be because in reality this is all she can do.

With a smile she asks whether he has read the documents she gave him. Everything in there is to his advantages. She takes all the losses. Even his last book the one that he’s writing at the moment is his.

So, she’s looking forward to hearing from him. With grace she stands up and asks him whether he wants to go back to the office together and when he doesn’t answer she says her goodbye and leaves.

Leaving him behind. Too stunned with pain and disbelief at this turn of event.

Helplessly he watches her leave while trying to tell himself that he’ll be all right. But he isn't all right because he knows he couldn’t live without her. It takes him awhile to collect himself and follow behind her.

When they stop waiting for the crossing light to turn green he admits it to her that if she terminates their contract he no longer has a reason to write.

What he couldn’t say is that he doesn’t even care about writing if it has nothing to do with her. That he writes because she wants him to write. That his reason for living is her.

His sincere confession doesn’t do much. Which should come as no surprise. He should have known that by know, that whenever he’s being sincere she wouldn’t believe it. And whenever he lies and does his worst she would. He has successfully made her believe in his charade. In his lies. And now he has no way to stop her from leaving.

He almost lost hope when it comes.

Her assistant comes up to hand over an award invitation wherein he would also receive one, while asking him carefully whether he would like to come. But he reminds him that if he says he would, he’d better make sure that he really comes and not doing what he did last time.

He asks her assistant whether President Soe would stop being mad at him if he goes to this event. When he looks at him with surprise he explains that he doesn’t want to be fired by President Soe, and wants to know whether his coming to this important event would help to ease her anger.

Knowing Eun Young it probably wouldn’t do any good.

But just like he knows her she also knows him well. She would understand how much he wants to maintain their relationship by coming to this normally would be avoided gig. She knows how much he hates being put in front of the cameras and flashing lights.

When he gets in her car she tells him that she doesn’t think he would come so he replies that he wants to do something to change her decision and then lightly adds that he becomes too attached to all the comforts she provides for him that he doesn’t want to lose them. She listens coolly before reminding him that it’s been a week and that she’s still waiting for his reply.

Desperately he asks her whether it’s really impossible for them to stay like this even though it’s a little bit awkward. When she doesn’t give any response he asks her whether he’s being too greedy and once again she doesn’t even bother to answer.

He knows that his chances to change her mind are next to zero but he has to try. He might have tried to leave her, he might have tried to distance himself from her but the fact is can’t live without her. She’s like the oxygen that he needs to breath. He can’t breath without her. He can’t do anything without her. He’s nothing without her.

He doesn’t think anybody knows how much Eun Young means to him let alone his foolish secretary. But with her great interest for things that doesn’t concern her she dares to ask about the reason why he no longer works for Eun Young. Into which he sharply reminds her that it’s none of her business and that she shouldn’t pry about his business.

She looks duly chastised but there’s something that bothers him when she leaves. On his way to the stage he sees her talking to Eun Young but he still has no clue what was that about until Eun Young gently slips a piece of paper into his hand.

‘Let’s find the solution together. Please don’t hold it inside and suffer by yourself. I’m so sorry that I didn’t know about your pain and unknowingly has even added some more pain to it‘.

His body freezes. His mind ceases to function. He has a strange sensation that he’s actually somewhere else far away from this crowded place. Away from the reality of what’s happening. Away from the excruciating pain which is about to assault him.

Dimly he can hear the MC makes an introduction about him.

'We shall introduce the next awardee. A highly respected writer for complex plot and detailed psychological description.'

'He's considered the explorer in the field of mystery. His novel 'The Dark Start' brought him the prize from the International Thriller society and is also on our best seller list.'

'Ladies and gentlemen please welcome this incredible Korean writer, Lee Jin Soo!'

His body moves automatically, but his mind is in disorder.

Whatever his dimwitted secretary told Eun Young it has somehow enabled her come to this surprisingly accurate conclusion of his feelings. He knows Eun Young has one of the finest minds there is but to read what she wrote is still staggering. She can’t be that insightful!

He refuses to believe that she knows what pains him. She wouldn’t love him if she knows what he did to HS. The knowledge that he did what he did was because he loved her would destroy her as completely as it had destroyed him.

So, no matter how much he wants to stay beside her thanks to his meddling stupid secretary he can no longer do that. If he stays, if he lets her see how much he wants to be with her and if his secretary told her that he almost died because of her disappearance, she will know that he really can’t live without her, that he does love her.

And it won’t be long before she finds out how long he’s been in love with her and why his marriage failed. Now, he has no choice but to leave Eun Young and cut the ties between them for good. He has to play the cold hearted bastard and hurt her once again!

His heart aches. But it also burns with anger. He is extremely angry at his stupid secretary. The more so because he actually likes her. He doesn’t like many people but he likes that stupid crazy girl. Her stupidity and craziness might set his temper off on occasion but he is kind of fond of her. He even starts to think and expect her to get somewhere someday!

When she comes excitedly congratulating him and recounting today’s event and the chance to go the party afterward he coldly tells her to go home because she’s fired. Her shock is probably the result of him threatening to fire her one too many. When she asks him why he explains seven reasons why he fires her.

First, she reveals his secrets without asking his permission. Second, she dares to make assumption about his personal life which she knows nothing about. Third, she obnoxiously disobeys his command while thinking she has a right to do so. Fourth, she intrudes into his personal life also thinking she has a right to do so. Fifth, she doesn’t know that in some cases being nice is more damaging than being mean, as in this case she has ruined something extremely important to him with her childish sympathetic feelings. Sixth, she has lost his trust. He would never be able to tell her his secret any more. Lastly, she has completely destroyed his expectation of her. He has thought that she could become a professional secretary.

He left her standing on the steps without further ado. When Eun Young asks him about her he informs her that he has fired his secretary. He could see that she is clearly shock. When she demands to know why he fired SY he tells her that he fired his secretary because she is a liar. Eun Young doesn’t take that statement kindly because she really likes SY so when she sharply she demands ‘what lies’ he has his answer prepared.

Without too much emotion he tries to set her straight by informing her that everything that SY had told her was just a lie. That girl has very fertile imagination and romantic ideas that she makes things up in order to fulfill her idea of romance. She shouldn’t believe her.

Then with a matter of fact manner he continues advising her that after seriously thinking about her offer to cancel their contract he finally agrees that she’s right. They have come too far to find a way that could salvage their relationship. Continuing it when it already comes to this stage won’t benefit any of them.

With a decisive movement he signs the contract cancellation which she has given him to read a week before. The one which he dreads to see let alone signs. The one which officially and legally ends their ties. His only link to the most precious thing in his life. His reason for living.

Her face turns white but she doesn’t say a word. Probably too shock to say anything. He quickly orders the driver to stop and before getting off lightly tells her that he doesn’t feel like partying but wishes her a lot of fun.

As he walks away from her limo he suddenly feels the weight of his charade. He’s done what has to be done but why does it still feel so hard? If he’s being honest with himself it’s because he doesn’t want to do what he did.

SY is useless but having her as his secretary had been fun. Although she’s far from smart she’s eager to learn and hard working. It amused him when she told him she wanted to be a pro and would do everything in her power to accomplish her goal.
She won’t be a pro – at least not one who could pass his standard. But, working with him and with Eun Young around she might be able to learn a thing or two.

Unfortunately, just when he started to feel rather proud of her little improvement, she forgot the most important lesson he taught her: Loyalty.
He took extra pain to teach her that her loyalty was supposed to be with him only!

Oh, he knows she means well – like Eun Young who noted how kind SY is and told him that she likes her a lot – he knows SY is kind but that means nothing now. She has ruined whatever little chance he has to be close to Eun Young and she has also destroyed whatever little trust and hope that he has for her to be a better secretary.

He doesn’t want to fire his foolish secretary and he’s sure as hell doesn’t want to sign that contract dissolution! Signing that document was tantamount to signing his own death warrant!

Now, when he looks back into that night there’s something strange in the way Eun Young just sit there quietly listening to what he said. He doesn’t think it’s the result of a mere shock. What did she think when he suddenly changed his mind like that? Yes, he’ll see her tomorrow and tell her that he’ll stay here for a little while to finish his current book.

But as much as he wants to see her, he doesn’t want to see her. He’s afraid of facing her again of having to say and to do what he still has to do. He kinds of hope her people to tell him that she isn’t available when he tries to find out whether he could see her tomorrow.

As if the task he’s about to do isn’t hard enough, he has to have the bad luck of encountering JW who is lurking behind a lamp pole on his way to Eun Young’s office. When he tries to pass him without notice the crazy bastard hauls him to crouch besides him to spy on Eun Young and her beaux!

'Shh! Look over there. Do you know who that greasy looking guy is? It's the guy Eun Young is seeing!'

His orderly and peaceful life has really become out of control. But with more important matters on his mind, namely preparing himself for his one on one with Eun Young, JW is only a small pebble on the rocky mountain. He keeps his cool when that bastard orders him to find out what kind of person her beaux is.

What he doesn’t expect is to have her lawyer beaux fawns over him while professing himself as his biggest fan and even inviting him to join their lunch! By the way that guy keeps caressing his hand he wouldn’t be surprised if he turns out to be a gay after all. Damn! He doesn’t need distraction like this, he should keep his head clear if he wants to pull this off.

But facing Eun Young is even harder than he thought.

He tries to calm his nerves by joking about her beaux who seems to like him more than herself and therefore probably gay. But he should’ve known nothing will ease this difficult encounter despite the fact that Eun Young looks very compose and as friendly as ever as they talk.

She lightly complains about him firing SY which makes her feel really bad while preparing some coffee. When he tells her that he fired her because she had overstepped the boundaries which he could tolerate, she wonders why there are so many dump girls around him who dare to overstep his boundaries.

That’s when he starts to see that beyond her normal appearance she is still hurt.

She falters a bit when she asks him whether he comes here today to ask her to sign their contract cancellation. When she looks for a pen he quickly gives her his own pen which could be translated as he’s been looking forward to end their relationship.

Little does she know that when she falters his heart stops beating and when he hands over that pen he has to use all the strength he has to harden his resolution.

Jokingly she tells him that perhaps she should just spill her drink on this document because by signing it she would be losing millions of dollars. As she tries to take a deep breath she repeats her question whether she should just spill her drink on this particular document that would cost her millions of dollars. When she’s about to do it he stops her by taking that cup from her.

She looks at him for a moment than tries to give a little smile that breaks every little piece of what is left of his already broken heart before looking at the document on her lap.

She keeps her head down while she signs it.

He doesn’t say a word. He couldn’t. Maintaining his nonchalant facade nearly kills him. Particularly when he sees her tears. When he sees how difficult it is for her. His Eun Young…....his precious, strong and proud Eun Young cries because of him!

Her voice trembles a little when she asks him to pass her some tissue to clean the now smearing document. Utterly humiliated she tries to joke by saying that she must really like money like he accused her once if the prospect of losing millions of dollars could bring tears to her eyes like this.

No matter how hard she tries to hold it her tears keep falling down her face and when he tries to give her more tissues those tears also fall to the back of his hand. He looks at his hand in horror. Dear God, he couldn’t take it anymore! He has to get out of here. Fast!

Before he completely falls apart she chokingly excuses herself to make a copy of that document.

He tries to breath but every breath he takes burn like hell. It hurts. The problem is he can’t let her see that he’s hurting even more than she does. He has to collect himself before she comes back. He’ll forget that he sees with his own eyes that he has succeeded in making her cry. He’ll forget this excruciating pain soon and Eun Young will bounce back even sooner than he can forget.

Breath. He has to breath!

When she returns she has mastered her emotion and composure. She accepts his explanation that he’ll move out of his apartment by the end of the week because he needs time to move what little belongings he has. She also holds her objection when he tells her that he’ll stay at his friend’s place on campus during the time he needs to finish his writing.

Then cheerfully before taking his leave he lightly reminds her to check out her beaux’s sexual orientation.

Clearing his apartment of his books in a way drives home the finality of their separation, fortunately he has years of practice to pretend that everything is all right even to himself. His work has become his saviour it helps him to focus and forget about her.

But his peace is disrupted by his former secretary who comes to see him. Before slamming the door on her face he coldly tells her that no matter what she says he won’t rehire her. But if she has one outstanding quality it’s tenacity. Instead of being discourage she waits for him outside his door and follows him until he finally relent and gives her a chance to speak.

She manages to surprise him when she says that she doesn’t want him to rehire her but just wants him to listen to what she has to say. And when she finally has the chance to say her piece all she has to say is that she’s sorry.

Flabbergasted he informs her that her admission doesn’t really change anything. She’s still fired and his contract has already been nullified.

But the silly girl tells him that for her there’s a difference between him knowing how she really feels about being fired by him, that she’s no longer angry at him for firing her because after some reflection she knows that it’s all her own fault versus letting him think that she’s angry with him for firing her.

He doesn’t really get what she means but there’s something about the concept that bothers him tremendously. He tries to discern it’s meaning to no avail. Many people say that he’s a genius although he doesn’t know about that but like Eun Young he does have one of the finest brains there is.

So, it irks him that he doesn’t get what that silly girl was saying because he could sense that it’s important. Moreover he has a suspicion that Eun Young would have no difficulty in understanding what SY is saying. It’s very annoying.

His annoyance increases when JW comes to abduct him and drag him to Eun Young’s lunch date!

He had enough difficulty controlling his emotions when he heard her grandpa mentioning her blind date and her getting married without having to witness the dreadful event himself!

How could he be here? How could he be JW’s accomplish to destroy her happiness when he refuses to give one to her? How could he put Eun Young in this very awkward and embarrassing situation?

That bastard JW! He should have just killed him right away or dumped him to their neighbouring country when he had the chance to do it.

Eun Young looks like she could have killed JW herself when she sees them and she almost screams her outrage when she hears JW says that as they all know each other they should sit at the same table.

Unfortunately her gay beaux who he suspects has a thing for him quickly grabs his arm and drags him to sit with them.He looks at her guiltily hoping that she would understand that it isn’t his idea to ruin her date.

When Eun Young excuses herself from their table he knows that she’s trying to find a way out, probably by calling her people to pick her up ASAP faking an urgent meeting or something. As JW keeps provoking her date with ridiculous incomprehensible insults he vehemently wishes that he could also be somewhere else.

When her date excuses himself to answer his ringing phone he curtly tells JW to stop his childish behaviour. But it only fuels his anger and makes him question him whether he wants to see Eun Young with a guy like that before dashing away to haunt her date.

He could see a major disaster is in the making.

When Eun Young comes back he sincerely apologizes and tells her that he’ll quickly finish his lunch and be gone. Instead of getting rile she seriously asks him why did he introduce JW to her all those years ago.

Her question shocks him but he is still pretty sure that he would be able to control himself and finish their awkward luncheon without a glitch if Eun Young doesn’t tell him that the real reason she dated JW was because he introduced that bastard to her. She dated him because she trusted his judgement. Because Lee Jin Soo recommends JW for her.

Her softly spoken words are delivered with feelings but there’s no trace of anger there. Just pure sadness. And regrets.

‘Since you introduced him to me I thought he was a great person. But I just realize it now that it wasn’t like that. You introduced him to me because he asked you to hook him up with me right? Even then I thought that you cared about me like I did you. Very dumb of me.’

That’s when he snaps!

The rage that he feels at himself and at that cheating bastard could no longer be contained. All the pains that they have to endure now are somewhat seeming like that bastard’s fault. If only he didn’t betray Eun Young, if only he loved Eun Young as she deserves to be loved. If only......

He’s really going to kill that sorry excuse of a man now! He’s going to finish him off for good! And who knows he might be successful in killing himself in the process!

But nothing really works the way he wants it to work lately. Nothing!

Even now in the middle of their mortal combat, for he has no intention to stop throwing punches at that bastard he suddenly remembers SY’s words. His foolish secretary is not that foolish after all. At least not when it comes to being honest with your own feelings.

Now, while he’s lying on the ground panting with pains and exhaustion, feeling like he’s really dying, swearing at that bastard, hissing angrily about how he regrets ever introduced him to Eun Young he finally understands his mistake.

His biggest mistake. Not the one that he always thought as his biggest mistake. But his real biggest mistake!

He has hurt the only person who matters most to him with his lies. He has hurts the only woman whom he loves with his whole heart with his charade. He has repeatedly hurt his reason for living with his self preservation.

Admittedly, it is all because he’s afraid the truth will hurt her but how could he chooses to hurt her when all that he wants to do is to make her happy? Why does he keep hurting her, when he could make her extremely happy simply by telling her how he really feels about her.

By being honest with her for once. Why did he pretend that he has no feelings for her and tell her that he only considers her as friend and never more than that when his heart is yearning for her?

He should’ve known that it matters to her to learn that he did what he did because he loves her and not because he feels nothing for her even though in the end they still can’t be together. Knowing that he loves her would make her feel much better. It’ll help ease her pain.

She needs to know how he feels about her. She’s entitled to it. He owes her that!
His foolish secretary has earned his eternal gratitude. He’ll make her a professional secretary even if it turns all his hair gray!

His body is aching all over – JW was once a champion pro boxer after all – but he’s never been this happy! His physical pain barely bothers him. He moves with agility and clear goals. He needs to see Eun Young now!

When he gets in her office he calls his foolish crazy secretary and orders her to come up with seven reasons why he should rehire her by tomorrow. But his happiness is dampened when he learnt from her assistants who are in total shock when they see his damaged appearance that Eun Young has left.

A sudden chill seeps into his bones. This is not right! She can’t leave just like this before she hears him telling her how much he loves her. Really, really loves her.

He is running toward the train station but he knows that he’s already late. The only way to reach her now is through the phone, so he calls her and tells her his biggest secret on the phone.

He tells her that he has told her too many lies to count. But he really needs to let her know about this one, that he was also lying about their kiss.

The reason he kissed her back that day wasn’t because a man’s instinct but because it was her. He kissed her back because she was Soe Eun Young. All the things he said in the roof top were also lies.

However, he doesn’t think they could be together because he can’t forget HS even if he tries. Being with her will always remind him of HS. That’s why he has to go away and she has to forget him. He knows that it’s a disease but he just can’t help it. He can’t cure himself.

She’s been very quiet that he has to ask her whether she’s still listening. But something in the way she talks scares him. She sounds so calm. Just like in the limo that night. Where’s her usual enthusiasm? She should be happy!

And then it hits him hard!

She doesn’t believe him!

This time when he’s being honest with her she doesn’t believe him!

If he thinks he’s been afraid before. Nothing compares to how he feels at that moment.

He could hear the calling to board the train in the background and he could feel that she's slipping away, forsaking him, despite what he's just told her.

He needs to make her believe him!

To prove that despite his bad behaviours his feelings for her are unchanged. He needs to show her that he has loved her for a very long time.

'A minute can be longer than 10 years. Are you okay with it?'

'What are you talking about? Hello?'

He doesn’t know he could run that fast not when his lungs are burning with exhaustion. But the fears that are burning inside his chest are more painful than his burning lungs.

He couldn’t let her go like this! He couldn’t let her go thinking he doesn’t love her! Not when he loves her more than anything in the whole world.

How could she leave him just like that when he couldn’t live without her! Despite all his physical pains he runs for his life….

But the only thing he could do when he reaches her who is already on the train is to pull her down towards him and kisses her with all the passions he’s been hiding inside his heart all these years.

He kisses her with the desperate longing that he feels. He kisses her with all the hunger and needs he always feels for her. He kisses her with the honesty he has never shown her before.

He loves her. Oh, God how he loves her!

But when their kisses ends, when she slowly opens her eyes then calmly and rather sadly says that it's enough she believes him…..

When he sees the way she looks at him as the train takes her away all that he could feel are these excruciating pains deep inside his chest....

In a slow walk he returns to his office trying not to think about what’s hurting him the most.

Considering what JW was he’s in a relatively good shape. But damn it! His right hand hurts like it’s been crushed by some heavy object. And he can barely move his fingers. He’s a writer for heaven’s sake!

But painful as it is he welcomes the distraction it brings.

It’s better to focus on the physical pain rather than thinking about the excruciating pains he experienced when he saw the way Eun Young looked at him after he kissed her. He knew he had hurt her again.

How did he manage to keep hurting her? He hoped that by letting her know he loves her it would somehow alleviate her pains. But apparently it hurts her even more. If only he knows which part of what he told her hurt her the most…

Lying to her has become a second nature and necessity to him. But he’s being honest with her for once when he told her that he loves her. Besides, he didn’t think that he’s telling her he loves her was the part that hurt her. He has these strange feelings that although she said she believed him she doesn’t really believe him. Not completely.

And she’s right.

He didn’t tell her the real reason why he wants her to forget him. He didn’t tell her he’s terribly afraid she’ll find out the real reasons behind his divorce and HS’ suicide. That’s why he still couldn’t let go of the past. But he was being honest with her when he told her he could never forget HS when he’s with her, well, sort of.

It suddenly occurs to him that what he said could be interpreted that he loves HS so much that he will never forget her. Yes, Eun Young seems to have come to that very conclusion. If she only knows the truth….....

The problem is besides sadness and acceptance he also saw a shadow of disappointment in her face which he didn’t understand.

He’s been having these strange notions about the way she reacts. Why is it getting more difficult for him to read her emotions and feelings lately? Is it because she’s purposely hiding them from him? Is she doing what he’s been doing all these years now? Putting a strong facade and smile to hide the excruciating pains inside her heart?

Does it mean she loves him as much as he loves her? No! Please God, he doesn’t want her to love him as much as he loves her. That would mean eternally. She would never be able to stop loving him not even when she lets him go. If she loves him as much as he loves her….

No, he doesn’t want to think about that. He’s leaving soon. He’s not going to change his mind. He doesn’t want his determination to waver. Not now.

Eun Young is very logical, practical and sensible. She would do what she has to do. Unlike him who would always find a reason and a little excuse to stay close to her despite knowing that he should stay away. And after what he told her at the train station she would cut him loose decisively. Yes, that’s Eun Young.

With his mind made up he tends to his injuries and then calls his far from smart secretary to aid him with his writing. And what did he expect? Although he told her in advance to come up with 7 reasons why she should be rehired, the reasons she finally gave him were so lame that she wouldn’t be rehired by even the most desperate employer.

But he’s desperate. He needs his book to be finished on schedule!

He rather hopes that this time around he doesn’t have to do his shouting or lose his temper with her as she’s practically doing nothing but typing. But who is he kidding. Not only she’s silly but apparently a little bit crazy too.

When he tells her to get some sleep for a couple of hours after he caught her sleeping in the middle of her typing – which isn’t something a pro would do – for he recognizes the need to have a few hours of sleep, a fool that she is she adds her mistake with another one when she asks him where should she sleep pointing the fact that she’s a woman!


If he doesn’t need her he’ll fire her again on the spot! Crazy girl! Teaching her things are really turning his hair grey! But as he owes her he tries to explain it to her that she’s a secretary. She’s nothing but an extension of his arms or in this case his fingers.

With her limited brain power he isn’t sure she could even understand that simple concept. The things that’s been going on inside that head of hers!

And then as if she’s not being silly and crazy enough she dares to ask him whether it’s possible for her to become a writer! Is he supposed to teach her how to be a writer now? Well, he’s grateful to her but not that grateful!

He has no time to teach this silly girl how to write properly. What little time he has left is for his writing only. This book he’s writing is his present for Eun Young. He’s writing it with her on his mind or to be precise their predicament. This is he’s saying to her that he knows he has problems and he’s going to find a way to solve it before finding his way back home.

He’s going to follow the unknown road to recovery no matter how long that journey might be or no matter how hard it is, he’ll do it. He needs to be a better person for her. He’s a damaged good now. But he’ll come back home to her when he’s ready as a whole man.

When Eun Young calls that night and they start talking freely, openly and honestly like they use to do he feels reinvigorated. Hearing her voice, hearing her laugh and hearing her thoughts is heaven. It’s so precious because they could only do that with limited subject. His fault not hers.

Even then he has to bring the conversation into a halt when he tells her the reason he introduced JW to her wasn’t because he didn’t care like what she thinks, but because he believed JW will do his utmost to make her happy.

He’s not sure what he wants to hear from her after that confession – as it reveals in a roundabout way that he’s been in love with her even since then – but definitely not her saying nothing at all and then trying to change the subject and ending their talk.

Yes, it’s not just his imagination. He couldn’t read her when he wants to know what’s in her mind the most. She’s put a barrier to her inner most thoughts and emotions. There’s only one reason why she does so. And it scares him.

He wants to tell her: Please Eun Young don’t do that. Please don’t love me that much. Just love me enough. Don’t love me as much as I love you for I’m leaving and I don’t know for how long. I don’t want you to wait and suffer because of me. I don’t know whether I would be able to throw away these toxic feelings. Or if I ever come back.

The day he leaves is the hardest day of his life.

He gets rid of his secretary easily enough. At first he wants to let her go just like that but since this is her last day working for him, it’s only fair for him to tell her that although she’s not bright enough she has her perseverance as her asset. With that she might be able to go somewhere.

The silly girl doesn’t even know that he has just given her a high compliment. She wouldn’t find any difficulty looking for a new job for if she ever needs help Eun Young will do her best to help her. She likes SY a lot. And she’s a force to reckon with. Everyone in this industry will jump at the chance to be on her good grace.
His precious Eun Young….....

Leaving her is killing him.

His journey to the airport feels like a journey to hell. His heart feels like it is being squeezed tightly. It hurts more than words can describe. He doesn’t think he could continue breathing once he’s on board of the plane, flying away from her.

He’d better go straight to the airport and leave with all possible haste. He knows he should do it while he still has the strength to do it. But somehow this stubborn heart of his refuses to leave its reason for beating without seeing her one last time.

So, he comes to the event she hosts to get one last look.

He’s afraid of coming here but there’s no denying that he needs to be here, to see her, to assure himself that she’s fine. That she’ll be all right. Just for one last time he follows his heart.

But like a coward that he is he lurks behind some plan to watch her from across the room. Just one last look to see his Eun Young.....

After gazing at her like that for quite sometimes he decides to leave without letting her know that he has come to see her. But then she sees him. At first he wants to hide back and let her think she has mistaken.

But it doesn’t feel right. He already told her he loves her. Awkwardly, he lets her see him. Let her see how much he really loves her. This is his last confession after all. His last chance of being honest with her.

But when she moves to come to him….....

He would fall apart if she approaches him. So, he calls her to tell her to stay right where she is, warning her to be on guard against prying eyes. It’s his excuse to keep her on a safe distance, but also the truth.

Eun Young could be so down to earth that some people might find it difficult to believe if they’re being told that the girl they just talked to is one of the most powerful and influential figures in this industry.

Now his beautiful, strong, proud Eun Young stands there in the middle of the crowd receiving his call. When she asks him whether he’s leaving now he lets her know that he needs to see her before he leaves. For a while they just look at each other from across the room.

But then with a smile and gentle voice Eun Young tells him to go and forgets her. He needs to hear that because he knows he couldn’t do it. He belongs to her. As long as he lives he’ll never forget her. But still he needs to hear her saying it.

With an encouraging smile she tells him that she would forget him and even if she didn’t hear a thing from him she wouldn’t look for him. She would go on with her life and seeing as many wonderful guys as possible. With that gentle voice and soft smile she tells him not to worry about her. She’s going to be very happy. And so should he. She tells him everything he needs to hear from her.

Dear God he loves her so much. More than he could ever tell her.

As he walks away he turns back for just one more look. There she is standing tall in the middle of the crowd sending him away with a little nod and smile on her face…....

Their parting is the most memorable memory that he cherishes during his travelling around the world. Wherever he is she’s always on his mind so he practically has no memory at all that worth remembering during the time he’s away from her.

The first excitement he feels is when the stewardess announces that they need another sixty minutes to reach Seoul.

An hour before landing! His two years of mindless roaming has come to an end. He’s back. Home. To her. Just thinking he’ll see her soon makes his heart fills with happiness. Everything seems to be brighter. Even the air smells sweeter.

This unkempt look is a goner. She’s going to see a new Jin Soo. A better Jin Soo. Jin Soo who’s ready to fully enjoys life. Jin Soo who’s ready to move on. Jin Soo who’ll never lie to her again. She’s going to love it! He can hardly wait to see her expressions when they meet. He’s never been so excited!

There wasn’t a day passed without him thinking of her. No matter where he was or what he did he thought about her longed for her. There were days when all he wanted to do was running to the nearest airport and boarded the earliest flight that would take him to her side.

What a fool he was. How could he be so stupid? Why did he even bother to try to leave her when he already knew he would never be able to forget her. He has wasted two precious years! But as he looks at his image in the mirror his anger at his own stupidity disappears. The excitements of seeing her again return with full force.

Being a famous author of best seller books has made him a fortune. The wealth he has accumulated over the years is pretty much untouched because he has never felt the need for it. Even now he still doesn’t need it because all he ever needs in this world is Eun Young.

But it’s time to start spending those useless fortunes into a good use. Not that his money will impress her but still he wants to impress her with his appearances. He needs her to see that he’s changed.

He knows that by coming back here he would also be meeting other people, but he never really gives that possibility much thought until he sees his silly secretary that night in the hotel bar. He has forgotten how entertaining and amusing she is.

And obviously she’s learnt quite a lot during the time she worked for him. That kid has grown into a pro admonisher! In disbelief he listens to her repeating the familiar admonishments he used to throw at her to her junior colleague.

Seeing her is a pleasant surprise. He couldn’t resist the urge to tease her. He wants to know whether she’s still as gullible as before. So he calls her pretending to be Jin Soo’s lawyer who is about to file a law suit against her for using his favourite admonishment without his permission.

And guess what, she’s just as gullible as before. Who on earth would believe the things he told her which were nothing but a bunch of nonsense but her? She might dress like a pro but she’s still as foolish as ever.

But now having met her he wants to know what she thinks about his new appearance. He needs to know he looks good before he goes to see Eun Young. And besides, he also wants to catch up on his former secretary’s news.

As silly and gullible as she is he has to admit he likes her a lot. He doesn’t have many people that he really likes but his foolish former secretary is one of those few.

Now, it’s time to make contact with the one person who brings him here.

But calling her for the first time is harder than he thought. He has to muster all his courage to make that first phone call and then suffer the waiting for his call to get through. He’s so tense that he’s afraid that his heart won’t be able to handle the tension.

But his fear for his heart’s sake is completely groundless for as soon as it hears the sound of its owner it jumps with so much vigour that he’s afraid that he would be left sitting here all by himself while his treacherous heart’s doing a somersault to Eun Young’s lap.

'Hello? Bum? Are you the bum that I know?'

Hearing her voice, her laugh and talking to her reminds him how easy it is to be happy. He must be really crazy then when he told her to forget him. And he feels like kicking himself when she says she never thought he would call her – well, maybe after a few decades but not so soon.

Her admission makes him want to properly explain that even then two years ago when he wanted to leave and forget her he already knew he couldn’t. It was just a wishful thinking of a crazy man that made him made that decision. But a life time habit is hard to die, so instead of expressing his feelings he tells her what he thinks about her reception.

'I contacted you after two years. You're the only one who could say that it's too early.'

When she asks him why did he come back he hesitates. He has a lot to tell her but not over the phone. He wants to see her expressions when he tells her everything. Of how much he really loves her. Of how long he’s been in love with her. Of the mistakes he’s made. He’ll let her knows that he couldn’t live without her. Not even for a day.

And he would never make that stupid mistake of trying to forget her ever again.
So he tells her that his news is too important to share over the phone. It’ll definitely shock her. It’s better if they meet tomorrow night.

She sounds happy and excited to see him. She advices him she also has something important to tell him. Perhaps more important and shocking than anything he might tell her.

Of course her news is more important than his. Doesn’t she know that everything about her is important to him? Doesn’t she know that he considers her as the most important thing in the world. She’s probably no idea that when it comes to her happiness he’s afraid of making even the smallest mistake.

He couldn’t exactly describe his feelings when he drives to her office to see her. Excited. Anxious. Self-conscious. He wants to see her so much. But he’s also afraid of seeing her. His nerves are in shambles.

To make matter worse he has to meet that cheating bastard he wanted so much to kill first. That jerk seems to be even more joyous and full of himself than he remembered.

He should’ve known that seeing JW is a bad omen.

He should’ve guessed that something is completely wrong when JW told him he knew he’s back from Eun Young. But how could he know? How could he possibly guess? He couldn’t. Not with the way he feels. He belongs to her. It just never occurs to him that she doesn’t belong to him!

His nerves might be in shambles before but when he walks into her office his happiness for being there so close to her has completely obliterated the bad after taste of his meeting with JW. And when he hears her voice in the other room he thinks he’d come into a paradise. He’s finally at home where he belongs. Here, with her at last.

She’s still talking on the phone so he moves around and stops to look at a bundle of wedding invitations on the table. When he takes one and opens it and sees the names written on it he still couldn’t believe his own eyes. Not even after reading it for a few more times.

No….....this is not happening….this can’t be true….....

But as he stands there and stares sightlessly at the paper in his hand trying to deny what he sees with a sudden dread he realizes that although he ceases to be aware of his surrounding, he’s painfully aware of the fact that his heart is no longer doing its somersaults. It might still beat as usual but it has lost its life.
And it’s just hurt badly.

If he thought leaving her was extremely painful it’s actually nothing compares to the pains he experiences right now. He doesn’t know and never imagines that the pain of being left is a thousand times more painful than the pain caused by leaving the one we loved.

It wasn’t this bad when he saw them dating and got engaged years ago, perhaps because even then it was him who did the leaving. Now he knows how she felt when he left her two years ago…..

Dear God...…..

His life has ended. Just like that. Without prior notice or warning it just ends. He lost her. His reason for living. The reason for his heart to beat. The most important and precious thing in his life. The only thing that matters to him.

The pain assaults him with such force that he could barely breath and every breath he takes is burning everything in its path. He aches all over. He’s been hurt before. Every single time he tried to stay away from her he was hurt and in pain. But not like this.

What’s the point of living now that he has lost her. Nothing matters anymore….

But then something slips through the torturous pain that numbs him to everything else. Eun Young’s presence. Slowly he raises his head from that invitation and there she is standing there in her wedding gown equally shocked to see him here.

She starts to ramble but those excruciating pains assault him once again and numb his senses to anything else. He replies automatically without really knowing what he says or what she says. But slowly he starts to sense her anxieties.

Something is bothering her. Why is she so anxious? What does she ramble about? He struggles to find some strength to fight the paralyzing pains and darkness that tries to envelope him.

Ah, she asks about his shocking news. But did she also ask him about her appearance?
It takes him a few moments to realise what that means. Slowly he tries to take a deep breath. No matter how much it hurts he can’t die. He needs to find the strength to live. Eun Young needs him. She needs him to tell her to go on with this wedding.

She’s not really asking about her appearance, she’s asking for his approval now. His practical and sensible Eun Young who always makes good decision and executes them effortlessly now looks so uncertain and self-conscious.

All these years despite loving her more than anything on earth he doesn’t think he’d ever given her what she really wanted. He spent his time trying to keep their relationship the way it was. He lied to her and went extra mile to rile her just to insure that she’ll have reasons to detest him and to keep a safe distance between them.

He must be really crazy then.

He knew he had problems. But looking back at his past actions they all seem so unreasonable now. How could he do that to the person who means the world to him. He would have given her his life if she wants it. But instead of showering her with his endless love he only gave her pains and made her life miserable.

Although she doesn’t look miserable now she sure looks uncomfortable. The way she looks at him with apprehension in her eyes causes a little tug at his dead heart.

He doesn’t know where he finds the strength to do it, his voice might crack a little, his lips and jaws are hurt from being forced to make a smile in their frozen state, but he manages to tell her how beautiful she looks to assure her that he’s fine with her surprising news.

After she goes back to her room he looks at her wedding invitation once again.

The names written on that paper should be his and hers. It never occurs to him that she wouldn’t be with him. In his mind he always pictures them together. He takes it for granted that there’ll always be her in his life. That they’re never going to be apart. Even when he thought they couldn’t be together!

Yes, she told him she would move on but somehow despite knowing how practical and sensible she was he never thought she would really left him like this. Deep down inside he always feels that just like him she’ll love him forever. And just like him who considers himself hers she would also consider herself his.

But he should’ve known that she couldn’t entertain any notion that she was his because when she offered herself to him he rejected that precious gift. He’s the one who told her he didn’t want her to be his! He’s the one who told her he couldn’t be with her because he couldn’t forget another woman who he didn’t even love! He’s the one who told her to forget him!

His own stupidity and twisted mind are killing him now. But he’s done being stupid and crazy. This time around he’s going to do it right. He’ll do and try his best to make her happy. The way she wants it to be. If she wants him to be happy than he’ll pretend he’s having a great time.

From this moment on at least until the day she marries JW he’ll serve her in every way he could. He’s going to be her humble servant with her every wish as his command.

And based on her conversation on the phone with her bridal shop his service is needed now to help her get out of that gown. But apparently she’s not going to ask for his assistance. Well, he’s the only one around here and she couldn’t wear her wedding gown to their meal.

'Do you need my help?'

He isn’t surprised when she refuses his offer to help her. But he isn’t surprised either when she quickly changes her mind and admits that she needs help with her gown. The ever sensible and practical Eun Young...

However, it’s quite obvious from the way she chatters that she’s unnerved by the whole situation.

Their closeness is also unnerving for him. His dead heart starts to pound a little in recognition. Fortunately, he’s still recovering from the shock of her shocking news and the things she says while she continues to chatter serves as a reminder of how at fault he really was. There is also a small glimpse of what this marriage of her to JW means.

They could be together if he made the right moves at the right time. But that’s always been his problem. It seems that he still doesn’t learn from his past mistake.

Helping her with her zipper is a sheer torture. He wants it to end but he also wants this moment to prolong. He must have been really crazy. But Eun Young is the type who takes a decisive move and never wavers by ambiguous desires, she wants to end it quickly. So, she jerks away from him when he unzips her zipper unfortunately in her haste she trips thus forcing him to catch her and hold her in his arms.

The moment his arms closed around her he lost contact with reality.

Everything else ceases to exist. All the old arguments of why they couldn’t be together disappear like they’d never been there. All his good intension of being a noble selfless person doesn’t even make a sound to protest to remind him of his grand resolution.

In that very moment he realizes with acute clarity of how much he really wants her. Not just loves her. He also wants her. Desperately. He needs her to be with him and not merely knowing he couldn’t live without her. Despite his wish for her to be happy, he couldn’t let her go to someone else.

He’s more than willing to forsake anything just to have her in his arms like this.

He doesn’t know what crazy thing he would do if that moment continues a second longer. He knows Eun Young will always do what’s right even if it’s going to cost her dearly. And she sticks to her words and commitment like a leech.

Yes, she could be mean and harsh on occasion but deep down inside she’s a softie. She wouldn’t dream of breaking anybody’s heart. There’s no question about her doing anything that would jeopardize her wedding.

But, as for him he’s selfish enough not to care about what other people think and just do what he wants. He’s selfish enough for both of them.

But that very short moment has to be ruined when that blasted ring falls out of his pocket and rolls down on the floor with a merry sound!

His supposedly dead heart feels like it’s also jumped out of his chest in a frantic chase. His momentary on the leave sanity returns full speed with every unpleasant reality he has to face now.

He couldn’t even look at Eun Young’s face. He’s too afraid to see her reaction. How could this happen?! If only he didn’t buy that ring! He bought that ring to propose to her only because that’s how normal people do it. And he wanted so much to impress her with the usual thing that will impress other woman.

Personally that ring has no value nor meaning to him. Giving her that ring is only a gesture he imitates from a long lasted and what seems to be cherished tradition.

What’s the significant of that little ring when he’s already given himself, his heart and soul to her. That shiny little thing could be misplaced, lost or rejected by her. But his love which is given freely and willingly will always be hers. It’ll never be lost nor misplaced. And even if she rejects it he’ll love her still.

As he walks to retrieve that now hated ring he has a very strong feeling that his day is just starting from bad to worst. Although he has no idea how the fact that he just lost the love of his life could be termed as just bad. But at the rate this thing is going it starts to feel like that.

Fortunately, she doesn’t make any comment about the ring, so he quickly leaves to the restaurant. Once she joins him there he pretends to love his food so much by shoving them down his throat as quickly as possible in a desperate attempt to avoid her suspicion.

He wants her to believe that there’s nothing wrong with him, that he’s healthy and happy. She just has to look at his appetite. He thinks he might have put a convincing performance for she doesn’t bring up that blasted ring into their conversation yet.

His mood has slowly improved until her phone rings and that bastard JW wants to talk to him. He gives her sign telling her he doesn’t want to take his call but as she’s getting married to that man she couldn’t just hang up or tell him to shut up.

So he ends up taking that phone and forced to listen to that cheater brags about how good he was during these past two years. Bastard. What’s so great about being faithful to Eun Young for two years?

It’s not a chore. He’s been faithful to her all these years simply because he loves her and he belongs to her. And he never thinks what he’s been doing as something special.

If JW really loves Eun Young it goes without saying that there’s no other woman for him. If he really loves her he would never find other woman appealing. If JW really loves her there’s no need for him to get rid himself of temptation – like what he did to all beautiful women in his office – because he wouldn’t be tempted no matter what.

Yes, he still very much wants to kill that bastard!

But as Eun Young excuses herself to continue her conversation with the said bastard outside his slightly improved mood speeds downhill. He no longer feels the needs to shove down this tasteless food as he looks at her through the window.
It hurts. It hurts like hell.

The problem is no matter how much he’s hurting he could never let Eun Young knows. And no matter how much he really loves her he could never let her know that either. As Eun Young starts to ask him questions, questions he doesn’t know how to answer he tries to stall.

He’s made so many mistakes. The last thing he wants to do right now is making another one that’ll ruin her happiness. He doesn’t have the confidence to decide what to do right now. With his selfish nature he’s afraid he’ll give a wrong answer and destroy everything that she wants.

What should he do now? He’s good at lying and pretending. So he’d better used that rare talent to down play how important her questions really are to him. Let her thinks that he’s in a playful mood.

So when she asks him about the shocking news he wants to tell her instead of directly answer her question he asks her back what kind of answer she wants to hear, is it about his latest work, he won a lottery, he has a girl friend or he’s gone into politics.

But when she says she wants to hear the news about his girl friend his dead heart dies another death. Unlike Eun Young who is practical and sensible, when it comes to her he could never be practical let alone sensible.

This senseless heart of his is still harbouring a silly hope that deep down inside perhaps in a very tiny corner of her heart there’s still a place for him that would make her want to keep him just for herself.

However, he’s done being selfish.

All he wants to do now is granting her her every wish. If she wants him to have a girlfriend, that what she’ll get. So, he tells her that her guess is correct. And when she relates the ring she just saw to this news about his girlfriend he also tells her that her assumption is correct.

He could see that her interest has been aroused by this bit of news, so when she wants to know more his girl friend he asks her what kind of woman would she pick for him, would she like him to be with a pretty girl with golden hair and blue eyes, a woman from a humanitarian organization he met in a remote area, a Korean business woman he met by chance in a bar or a man.

Eun Young is clearly not prepared to deal with this kind of game. Hesitantly she says that she’d rather choose a Korean girl as his girl friend. But when she cautiously asked him how long he would be staying here he isn’t sure what kind of answers he should provide as her choices.

He wants her to tell him to stay here by her side. To never let go. But he also wants to disappear into nothingness. Not having to witness her wedding and pray for oblivion.

Unfortunately, when he lets her choose between him leaving tomorrow, a week from now, after attending her wedding or up to him, she tells him that she would love for him to stay and attend her wedding.

He knows she wants him to be around so that she could see for herself and assure herself that he’s alright. That everything is really okay. Not because she still loves him for she had let him go two years ago. He guesses old habit just dies hard. She’s so used to taking care of him that she couldn’t leave him be without worrying about him.

Every time he remembers that she has let him go, that he has lost her his whole body is tensing with pain. And he feels this familiar urge to run away and hide in the darkest corner he could find.

But he had made her worry too many times in the past whenever he did his disappearance acts by not giving her any means to communicate with him. He’s not going to do that ever again.

She looks surprised when he tells her he would buy a mobile phone so she could call him whenever she needs him and she looks quite stunned when he agrees to move back to his old apartment.

'How come you've changed so much? Why are you suddenly so obedient to me? This jerk changes like this. It makes me nervous.'

The surprised and happy looks on her face manages to reduce some of his pains.

He moves to his apartment with a relatively good mood which is getting better when his former secretary comes to see him and woo him to be a special guest in her radio station. Although he flatly refuses her request he enjoys her company and asks her to stay for coffee.

But his mood is completely changed to sour when JW calls to invite him to dinner which he must attend with his Korean girl friend. Just like he flatly refuses SY’s request he also flatly refuses JW’s request.

The problem is Eun Young also asks him to come with his girlfriend saying that she needs to see her herself. She wants to make sure that he has met the right girl. That’s the only way she could be at ease. And he couldn’t say no to her request.

But although he’s a pro at lying providing a girl friend out of the blue to convince her of his story isn’t an easy task. He knows no woman to ask to pose as his girlfriend.

As he looks at his far from smart secretary who is getting more calculating he gets his answer. In exchange for her posing as his fake girlfriend he’ll make an appearance at her radio station.

All he has to do now is up grading her appearance to match their expectation. They all think that he has a very high standard when it comes to woman. Unfortunately, the view he sees when he picks her up is not to his liking.

Even with the expensive clothing he sends her she doesn’t look that impressive. Sighing disappointedly, he looks her up and down then orders her to twirl.

'They're going to say my standards for girls have gotten really low.'

He knows that it’s not her fault that he still finds her lacking. For despite his disparaging remarks about her appearance she’s actually pretty enough. It’s his fault that he still finds her lacking.

He realizes that he would find every female lacking compares to Eun Young no matter how beautiful, classy, and dazzling they are.

But he has his secret weapon. The engagement ring. That should convince them.

He experiences a perverse pleasure when he puts that ring on his former secretary’s finger. Getting rid of that thing this way gives him not a small amount of satisfaction. He wants to shout to all those stupid people who adhere to this silly custom.

He wants them to see how meaningless it really is. It’s just a ring. It could be discarded quite easily. Just like what he did. Unlike the feelings he has for Eun Young that will never be lost. Even without giving her that stupid ring he loves her just the same. Even without giving her that ring he would always be hers. She doesn’t need that ring to own him.

He’s doing this charade to make her happy. To help her find a peace of mind so that she could continue with her wedding without lingering feelings of guilt and anxieties over his feelings.

But when he asks her whether she’s at ease now that she’s seen his girl friend her answer causes his foolish heart to beat a hopeful beat.

Yes, hopeless as the situation is, he’s still hoping that she still loves him and that is the reason that makes her feels uncomfortable when she sees him with another woman. But when she explains her feeling he starts to see why his choice of SY would bother her because she thought he’s already moving on when he doesn’t.

And it seems that his choice has hurt her a little because he left two years ago with an excuse to start a new but now she learns that after dumping her he ends up with SY after all. Heavily, he informs her that he never had any intention of starting a new life when he left. It was just a wishful thinking.

She looks at him without saying a word for a while. If only he could know what she thinks and what she feels after she hears what he says.....

However, it doesn’t take long for him to find out that she has learnt about his latest lie.

She calls him just when he is about to start his radio interview so he tells her that he’ll call her back in a few minutes. When he calls her again he can hear how angry and hurt she is by it.

‘Why are you lying? Even though I couldn’t see you all these years it was okay. Do you know why? Because I thought that if we ever see each other again even when we’re both already really old we wouldn’t lie to each other again. I thought that if we ever find each other again we would always be truthful to each other.'

'Do you know how do I live until today without you? I’ve been living till now with that expectation as my solace. Why did you tell all these lies right after you’re back? You acted like you would never come back, but you’re back after only two years and all you did was lying! Why?!’

This time he realizes that his suspicion has been right after all. She has never really believed his feelings for her. She doesn’t think he really loves her and that’s why she doesn’t think he would ever come back for her.

His reappearance and changed behaviours shock her like nothing ever could so for a moment she might've been fooled into believing that he's changed. But to finally learn that he doesn’t change at all after all is really her undoing.

He listens to her saying in a disappointed and accusing voice, ‘You’re not changing at all. You’re still lying like always.’

That’s not true. He’s changed. He sees things differently now.

Before, he lied to her to protect himself driven by fear that he might hurt her. Now, he lied to her because he wants to protect her. Before, he only did thing that suited and pleased himself. Now, he does thing to suit and please her.

He lied because he’s afraid of making another colossal mistake, of making the wrong moves for right now the stake is too high. It’s her happiness. His own happiness isn’t even an issue here. He couldn’t risk her losing her happiness because of what he has to say.

Does she really want to know his shocking news?

If she wants them to be honest with each other he’s all for it. He would concur with her wish. But as it’s her happiness which is at stake here she needs to decide whether she really wants to go to this unchartered territory. She has to be the one to tell him whether she wants him to tell her the truth or she could tell him to continue lying.

He tells her to choose number one for the truth, for him to tell her how he really feels and number two for him to continue lying.

The seconds while he’s waiting for her response he forgets about everything else. He forgets that there are people waiting for him to start the on air program. Her happiness may be at stake here but so does his life.

He’s putting everything that matters to him into her hands now. He lets her to decide what he should do now. He lets her to decide their future.

But being a professional that he is he manages to respond to the question being thrown at him. He’s doing quite well until her response comes. That moment he wonders how many times a person could die and how many heartbreak a heart could take.

The irony is that her response doesn’t really surprise him. Trust Eun Young to do what’s right. Yet, his foolish heart has hoped for a miracle and now has to suffer the consequences of daring to hope.

It takes a lot to focus on the things that happen around him. Does she know how hard it is for him to continue with this interview while nothing matters to him anymore. But as she wants him to continue with this charade he’ll continue this farce. No matter how hard it is. No matter how painful it is. He’ll do it for her.

When SY wants to return the ring he told her to keep it as he still wants her to pose as his girl friend. The foolish girl might have a heart attack if he tells her he wouldn’t even care if she throws that ring into a rubbish bin.

Yes, she’s still foolish but not that stupid anymore, she becomes better at calculating what’s good for her, for in order to continue posing as his girl friend she wants him to come to her station as a regular guest. Not that he minds. He actually feels rather proud of her achievement.

What he minds a lot is having JW treats him like his best buddy. And he doesn’t know why after two years that bastard still has something unpleasant to drag him into. This time he drags him to Eun Young’s place to look for his missing engagement ring!

JW looks and sound like someone who has been given a death sentence and almost gone crazy with fear.

'If Eun Young finds out about this, with her temper, I'm never going to hear the end of it.'

Is it possible that she'll cancel the wedding because of it?

'Why do I have to help you look for it?'

JW looks offended by that very reasonable question. And furious.

'Hey! You punk! Aren't you Eun Young's friend as well? Would you like to see Eun Young without a ring on her finger on her wedding day?!'

That bastard won't like his answer if he hears it. So he keeps his silence. But being in her place makes him uncomfortable. Seeing her personal things makes him feel like a voyeur. But studying her things gives him a strange satisfaction. It feels like he’s somehow getting closer to her. Being part of her.

He’s so absorbed in this new finding that he doesn’t really pay attention to what his former secretary now fake girlfriend tells him on the phone.

She’s babbling about how to address him in private, speculating about the possibility of using just his name without any title, giving an uncle in front of it, or calling him big brother which is most common among lovers, then comes to what she really likes, darling.

When he asks her whether she’s having fun now and she says yes he offers to increase her fun with something more. When she excitedly concurs, without much heat he tells her that she has to write his script herself.

When she informs him that’s impossible because she’s never done something that important he curtly cuts her, ‘If you don’t write it Darling, I won’t be doing my guess appearance show.’

Lamely she asks him why it has to be her.

‘Well, you have to remember that I have a public image that needs to be maintained. If the script is written by someone else and it doesn’t up to my standard and what I want I won’t be able to throw it into their faces. But if the script is written by my Darling, I would be able to use a red pen and cross as many words and sentences as I like and then rip the whole thing a part to my heart content.’

‘You’ve been living an easy life up till now just like someone speeding in a luxury train. Now, your life as an ordinary writer of last year has come to an end. You’re going to know what living in hell is like over the next month. You have to do your best. And I assure you that you won’t have time at all to figure out what to call me!’

He’s sure that harsh and hard enough to clear his crazy secretary’s head. However, he doesn’t know how to deal with the other crazy person here. As if dragging him as his assistant isn’t enough the crazy bastard decides to entirely delegating his task to him as he needs to go to attend to his business matter.

And just like that, he is left all alone in her apartment with her things around him.

He wanders mindlessly until he spots her wedding plan. That’s when he gets a chance to look into a part of her mind. It’s hard for him to guess what’s inside her head let alone what’s really in her heart.

But looking at these things he finally understands how serious she is about her wedding. He knows she would do what she said she would. But he never thinks that she’s going to be really into it.

Somehow despite the fact that she asks him to lie, he has this feeling that she’s the one who’s lying. That deep down inside she loves him still. And his ever foolish heart keeps telling him she’s only doing what she has to do. But these things she writes and carefully plans about her future.....

If he has any more doubts regarding her feelings on the matter he gets his answer when Eun Young suddenly comes home with her future in laws. They both look like a very nice couple. And her father in law clearly dots on her.

'If that rascal does anything to hurt you again, you have to let me know alright? I'll beat him half to dead!'

'I'm serious! Anyone who lets you down doesn't deserve to live. Even if he is my own son. I wouldn't let him off either!'

She looks extremely happy while she basks in his approval. It hurts to look at them like that but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from her blushing and smiling face. That’s what he wants for her. To always look that happy.

As painful as it is, this scene will help him to find the much needed strength to continue with this path. Whenever things become unbearable and he comes close to breaking point he’ll relive this scene. He’ll see her the way she’s now.

As he looks aimlessly in her bath room he finally spots JW’s ring and at about the same time he hears her father in law heads this way! There’s no way he’ll let them see him here! Frantically he texts her that he’s in her bathroom. Like always, he needs Eun Young to come to his rescue!

He could imagine how shock she is when she learns that he is in her bathroom. But strangely enough the moment she comes into the bathroom he feels at ease, no, it even starts when he knows that she’s already right outside the closed door, because he knows that together they could overcome anything.

The moment he explains that JW lost the ring and then recruited him to become his aide and they start to laugh all his pains disappear. But just as quickly the harsh reality returns when she quietly says her apologies.

The pain returns full force. He wants her to be happy with his whole heart but it still hurts. However, he manages to tell her that her future in laws look nice. If only he could say the same thing about the bastard she’s going to marry.

He leaves while Eun Young distracts her in laws attention to meet their son. JW doesn’t seem to understand or even have the slightest clue about his feelings for Eun Young when he tells him to be good to her. To treat her well. He looks more interested in seeing his ring than paying attention to what he says.


What did he expect. JW is the one who thought about doing a grand proposal complete with its yellow ribbons as romantic. He wouldn’t understand that it’s not the grand gesture that matters but what’s in one’s heart. It’s so like him to place such importance on a ring.

He wishes he could also make a grand and memorable gesture like saying I’ll kill you with my own bare hands if you dare hurting her again. And I’ll personally come to turn your life into nightmares if you ever make her sheds even one tear.

Unfortunately, he could only make that bland statement asking him to be good to Eun Young. If only he has a chance or a reason good enough to justify killing that bastard before he marries Eun Young….

That lucky bastard manages to further annoy him but sadly not enough to kill him by dragging him to his party wherein he has to deal with his very drunk secretary.

'Hey, you punk! We have your girlfriend as a hostage. You'd better hurry and get over here1'

She’s always been rather silly and crazy enough when she's sober that he couldn’t even imagine what kind of craziness he would have to endure when she’s so drunk.

And he’s right for not being able to imagine the thing that’s been going on inside her silly crazy drunk head. Besides forcing him to take care of her that crazy girl dares to kiss him! Not even once but several times! Him! Lee Jin Soo the famous author! Her former boss! Her radio station’s precious honourable guest!

And the most important thing of all he’s Eun Young’s!

JW brags about watching his behaviour for two years, well, he never mentions it to a soul but he guards his precious body just as closely as any body guard guarding their VIPs.

He belongs to Eun Young from head to toe! Every single part of his body is hers!

He’s going to kill SY when she's sober! That silly crazy girl is so dead!

Despite calling SY crazy he knows that he’s also a little bit crazy. Particularly when it's about taking revenge or dolling out punishment.

He’s done many crazy things before. But posing as a sexy handsome man on the stairs is definitely his first. Luckily, he doesn’t have to wait long with his lady killer act for his victim.

The empty head of his silly secretary slowly appears as she cautiously creeps up the stairs. At first she cringes when she sees his shoes but when her eyes travels up and she sees his seductive and mellow smile she smiles back happily.


He should’ve known that she wouldn’t have enough sense to understand the scale of her offense. Now that the chicken has come it’s time for slaughter!

'Come here!'

But he doesn’t consider the fact that despite her limited brain power SY is quite good when it comes to self preservation.

With a quick jump and a hard jerk she’s succeeded in grabbing her phone back - which she forgot when she run away, as soon as she woke up from her drunken sleep in her effort to avoid him - leaving him sitting on his ass on the stairs with her bag which he manages to pull from her.

The whole thing is so absurd and silly.

But he’s looking forward to all the pleasures he’ll get at her expense. She may run and hide from him but she could never run from herself. The way she calls him then hangs up then asks her equally not so bright brother to answer the phone when he calls her back speaks volume of her state of mind.

He tells her brother to tell her that the next time she comes to see him, she has to bring an ID, a medical report from a doctor stating that she’s free of AIDS and hepatitis, and a signed letter of forsaking body’s parts.

He tries to get back to work but the content of her bag, her writing book to be exact, catches his eyes.

It doesn’t take long before he grabs it and starts reading. And what a surprise it is! Her writing is so raw and unstructured that its bizarreness has becomes captivating.

Her ignorance of the world has turned some facts into hilarious jokes. It’s one of the worse writings he’s ever read. She would humiliate him if other people learn that she’s ever worked as his secretary. They would assume that she also learns how to write like that from him!

But on the other hand she has put and combined so many strange things into one of the most interesting stories he’s ever read.

He almost forgets about her writing when she finally gathers up enough courage to come and face him. Unfortunately for her, she has to be found by him with her cloth off. How he loves it! She just gives him another ammunition. Now he could accuse her of not only destroying the chastity of his lips but also the purity of his eyes!

In wonders she asks him why she has to bring her ID, a medical report and a signed letter of forsaking body’s parts. Meanly he tells her that he needs to know that she’s really a SY and not some gold digger who tries to seduce him in order to get her greedy hands on his money. He needs to see her medical report because there are many diseases that could be contracted from mouth to mouth.

She’s momentarily speechless before trying to attack him with sexual harassment accusation for forcing her to sign that forsaking letter.

Smirking he tells her that the letter is not about her forsaking her body for his pleasure, but it’s a letter wherein she has to state clearly that she would never ever touch his body again. She would give up her bad habit of forcing herself upon him!

In amusement he watches that silly girl signs that letter.

She’s so foolish that it’s still hard for him to believe that she could write that interesting plot about Galapagos, but he lets her know that although her writing is sucked but her idea is good and therefore he would like to buy that idea from her.

To his surprise despite her stupidity and gullibility she’s proven that she’s actually smart enough by refusing to sell her plot no matter how much money he offered.

However, the reason she doesn’t want to sell her plot has nothing to do with intelligence. She refuses his offer because he told her she could be a writer someday!

He is speechless and quite frankly very surprised when she tells him how much value she puts into all the things he told her. And he’s amazed to find out that that despite all his tortures, teasing and craziness she actually respects him. A lot. That he’s her role model!

Him?! She must be really crazy.

When he reminds her that if she respects him that much she shouldn’t have kissed him in the first place. But once again she surprises or to be précised shocks him with her answer that she kissed him because she likes him.

He never saw that coming!

He feels grateful to her for what happened two years ago. He also feels proud for what she’s accomplished for herself. He who never feels attachment for anything or to any one has accepted this not too bright girl as his ‘protégée’.

It means he cares for her a lot. He likes her a lot. But his liking and caring are not the same liking with what she feels for him.

He never feels that way for her. Not even once.

She entertains and amuses him. She makes him laugh with her silliness. Yes, she makes him happy. But not the way a woman makes a man happy. Not the way Eun Young makes him happy.

With Eun Young, he’s happy just by knowing that she exists. He’s happy when he doesn’t even see her. Just knowing that there’s her somewhere is enough to make his heart swells with happiness.

And whenever he’s in her vicinity his heart fills with such joy that it doesn’t really matter that she doesn’t even know how much he really loves her or that he couldn’t have her. Eun Young makes him happy by doing nothing at all.

For her own sake he hopes SY could stop her feelings from blossoming into love. He hopes it’s nothing more than a crush for a good looking teacher or for an incredibly famous author she idolizes. He really wishes that whatever she feels for him would do her no harm.

She looks the same and happily talking to DW when he picks her up to go to JW’s birthday. He’s glad that her liking him is more of a crush that most girls used to have at least once toward their role model. The handsome and now rich DW would be perfect for her.

Another couple that looks great together is Eun Young and JW.

Seeing her all smiling and looking happy with JW is painful. He sneaks out when everyone else isn’t looking. Only to finds Eun Young who is also hiding in the hall practicing few magic tricks.

She begs him to keep staying out side for she wants to do something that’s very likely be embarrassing and she doesn’t want him to see it.

If it’s up to him he doesn’t want to be here at all. Staying outside is actually the best deal he could get from this event.

And he’s right for not wanting to be here for when he opens the door to join them the scene that greets him is not to his liking at all. Just the sight of JW bends Eun Young in their dance is almost too hard to bear so he decides to just stay outside.

But his foolish secretary drags him back inside. He quickly leaves again when JW tries to frisk him for his gift. Unfortunately, that bastard has something on his mind and when he comes out of the room and sees him outside he asks to talk privately man to man.

He never thinks that he would ever feel less than a man when he has to face JW but that’s how he feels when he listens to what he has to say across the table.

‘I went to Clark’s a few days ago to choose a wedding gift. They told me that you bought a ring on the day you came back to propose to an old friend. That old friend couldn’t possibly be SY right?’

What could he say? He feels like a secret lover who is caught by the husband. But JW isn’t waiting for an answer for after taking a deep breath he continues, ‘So, my guess is correct. Does Eun Young know about it?’

This time he manages to force his voice out and tells JW that he doesn’t think Eun Young knows.

And he lies when JW asks whether Eun Young knows that his relationship with SY is only for a show. When JW carefully asks him to leave and not to attend his wedding he couldn’t even privately call him bastard.

He understands why JW wants him to leave. Not that he’s sympathetic to his predicament when he relates how happy he really is this time around. But he understands.

And when JW says that isn’t it about time that the both of them stop making Eun Young worry about them, he touches the soft spot.

Yes, of course he can’t stay here now after all the parties know the real reason he’s here. It would be uncomfortable to say the least. And the one who would suffer the most is Eun Young.

So, he informs JW that he’ll leave. But he hopes that he doesn’t expect him to leave immediately, right this minute. He’ll buy a plane ticket tomorrow.

The problem is despite his promise to leave Eun Young wants him to be here. It matters to her that he’s there at her wedding. It would hurt her tremendously if he once again leaves her just like that.

And although there’s part of him that wishes to be somewhere else, he wants to give her what she wants.

But he really has no choice. He understands JW’s request. He understands his anxieties. And JW is right when he says that it’s time for both of them to think about Eun Young first.

He wants her to be happy. That’s all. If she wants to marry JW, he’ll help her to get what she wants.

When other guests ask him to make a toast because he doesn’t contribute anything to the festivities he stands up and says his piece sincerely.

‘It’s a beautiful night. A night which makes me think that it’s a blessing to have something that we really want to protect. For those who already have that I hope your hopes and wishes come true. I sincerely wish you to be happy.’

He says his last sentence while looking at Eun Young. She’ll know that this is he’s saying good bye to her when she finds out that he’s left. He just hopes that it won’t hurt her that much.

But although he sincerely wishes her to be happy it’s not an easy task to do because he can’t be sure that she’s really going to be happy. Because he has this notion that the real reason she wants a confirmation that he’s happy with her wedding is because she still loves him.

When she couldn’t contact him and learns that he’s already left she would understand that he loves her. She would understand that he leaves because he wants to make things easier for her. But she would also know that he would be in pain.

He can only hope that knowing all that wouldn’t affect her happiness. That she would be able to continue living the path she has chosen without any regret.

But when SY calls him to say thank you for her birthday present which is also today, he advises her to use his present into a good use. To keep writing and practice so that she wouldn’t be an embarrassment to other writers.

And he also apologizes for not being able to keep his part of the bargain after she does hers, but he’ll compensate her in other way.

That’s when she understands that something is wrong and he’s leaving. Frantically she reminds him that he did the same thing two years ago, running away without a word. Leaving everything behind.

She tells him that she doesn’t know why he comes back, but it must be because he has something precious that he needs to protect. In that case, how could he just leave now, shouldn’t he stay and fight for whatever it is he wants to protect.

She might be foolish and rather crazy but she’s very good at discerning what really matters in one’s life.

Other people might have to think hard about what are the most important things in their lives that they want to protect. Not him. He doesn’t have other thing that matters to him except for Eun Young. But look at how stupid he was.

He should’ve realized it sooner.

His not too bright former secretary has once again manages to get his gratitude. He’s forever grateful to her.

Then when he’s about to hang up she lets him know that despite how badly he treats her she really respects him. And she doesn’t want to loose it.

JW might not like this. But he doesn’t care. The day he comes to the radio station for his program he calls JW to let him know that he’s not leaving. That he’s going to stay and fight for what matters to him the most.

He has promised himself never to run away from Eun Young again. And he’s going to keep his promise no matter what. He’ll fight for her no matter what.

There’s no way he’ll let her spend the rest of her life with JW when the one who loves her more than anything else is him!

Having made that important decision all he wants to do is running to see Eun Young. Fortunately, he’s so good at controlling his feelings and emotion that he could joke around during his radio show, when he has so many other things on his mind.

He only slips once when the anchor asks him to come more often to their station to do this kind of show. He advises the hopeful man that despite his desire to see more of him he might change his mind later.

Not that it matter. The man doesn’t even have a clue what he’s talking about.

He needs to see Eun Young immediately. He needs to let her know how much he really loves her. He wants to know how she really feels about him. He needs to find out whether she’s really going to be happy doing what she’s doing now.

After he finishes his program, on his way out he looks for SY who has reminded him of what he wanted to do in the first place when he’s about to give up and leave.

He could see that despite the fact that she’s very happy that he’s cancelled his trip and her optimism that he’ll stay for good, she's still a bit worry that he would do his disappearance act again.

Of course she doesn’t know that when he decided to return to Korea he had no intention to leave Eun Young ever again no matter what. It’s JW who had forced him to leave.

His urgency and haste in finding Eun Young doesn’t bring him an instant result.

She’s not in her office and her mobile can’t be contacted. It brings back the memory when he went in a hurry to her office after his fight with JW to tell her that he loves her two years ago.

He tries to call her once again when he’s in front of her apartment. When that doesn’t work either he decides to storm her castle which now full of her ladies. Not that he’s afraid of them. When it comes to Eun Young he’ll brave even the wrath of God.

Everyone is more than surprised to see him. Including Eun Young. At first he tries to be nonchalant about his visit and giving her a careless answer when she chides him for pulling his disappearance act once again and cutting all contact with her.

But when she asks rather sadly why does he bother to come here if she’s not important enough to know his where about, he realizes that the time has come to drop all pretences.

He tells her that he knows she wants him to keep lying to her but he needs to know how she really feels about him. He needs to be sure that he’s not crazy or delusional for listening to his heart, which keeps telling him that she loves him too. And if she really loves him will she ever be happy marrying JW.

He tells her that there were times when he thought he couldn’t live without her. But he finally realizes that no matter what happens to them, wherever they are, as long as he knows that she’s happy, he would be able to continue living.

But he can’t live knowing that she would be miserable. He can’t let that happen. He wants to be sure that she’ll be happy with the choice she's made.

Although she doesn’t give him a straight answer but her admission that she has no idea whether she’s really going to be happy makes him feel better. It means she doesn’t love JW. She’s only doing what’s right. She’s being Eun Young.

She’s giving this marriage her best effort wishing for the best.

But he’s been there and done that. It’ll never work. Not when she loves him as much as he loves her. He’s learnt his lesson that you can’t marry someone if you’re in love with someone else. You’ll only make yourself, the person you marry and the person you love miserable.

He tells her as much.

He advices her that if she doesn’t feel absolutely certain that she’ll be happy, it’s better for her not to do it at all. When she softly says that if only she knew for certain that he’ll be back then, he is swamped by various emotions. Regrets, anger, relief.

He regrets the things that he had done, for this is all his fault, he knows that and that makes him angry at his own stupidity. But last but not least, despite all these destructive feelings he feels extremely relief, because now he knows for sure that she loves him still.

She confirms that when she calls him right after he left her apartment and thanks him for telling her once again that he loves her. But without telling him she loves him too, she lets him know that just like him she also feels the need to protect things. That she might regret her decision forever but she has to do it nonetheless.

Well, of course she does.

He knows Eun Young will stick to her words and commitment even when it costs her dearly. But what she’s planning to do isn’t right regardless of the fact that she thinks it’s the right thing to do.

She cares about other people’s feelings so much so that she’s even willing to sacrifice her life just to make them happy. His ever so selfless Eun Young.

But fortunately for her, she has him. Lee Jin Soo who never cares about other people, who is selfish enough to do just what he pleases and would move heaven and earth just to make her happy.

He’ll take care of it. But she doesn’t need to know what he’ll do. So he only gives a short reply.

‘I won’t try to change your mind any more. But whenever you feel certain that you won’t be happy, whenever it is, let me know. Even on the morning of your wedding day. I’ll find a solution for you.’

When she asks cautiously what will he do, he informs her that he’ll do anything for her. Yes, anything!

If she’s worried about making other people unhappy, he doesn’t feel worry or even the least bit sorry if he has to make a certain person in a great pain in order to give her what she deserves.

Without any hesitation he sets his move in motion.

That certain person makes his task easier by sticking to his bad form and trying to fool and cheat him with very bad offers.

This is going to be much easier than he thought. His plan would be in disarray if he suddenly turns into a nice person. This is just perfect. Just like he’s expected.

What he didn’t predict is for Eun Young’s employees to be there witnessing the whole thing. Her assistant is so worried and anxious that he’s planning to change his publisher from Eun Young to this bastard.

To calm her he tells her that he needs a lot of money. Then he firmly warns her not to mention any of it to Eun Young because he doesn’t want her to be worried.

If Eun Young finds out he’s meeting this lowlife she would know that something is amiss. She would understand that there’s no way he would change publisher from her to this untrustworthy man no matter how much money he’ll get.

She’ll suspect that he’s up to something. Not that she’ll ever guess what he’s planning to do in a million years. However, he doesn’t want her to be worried.

The day he knows for sure that she’ll definitely go through with her wedding is when they meet by chance on the road, while he’s walking around lost in thought, when instead of walking towards him she turns her back on him.

She never turns her back on him. Not even once. She’s always been there whenever he needs her.

At first he moves to stop her and follows her footstep. But almost at the same time he realizes that this is it. The only way for him to stop her from doing her foolish good deed is by doing his far from good deed. He definitely has to do it.

If he still has a few lingering doubts about his plan, which he has none, his determination has been sealed when he finds out that she’s sick.

His Eun Young is sick! She’s never been sick! With a wrenching heart he comes to see and tend her himself.

Seeing how miserable she’s now he knows she would bring herself to early grave with her determination to marry JW. He, who’s probably the most selfish person in the world and made of much sterner stuff than her, couldn’t even endure his marriage. He just couldn’t imagine how Eun Young will cope with hers.

He has to stop her. Period. There’s no turning back.

With one last look he memorizes her pale face. He can see that she’s determined to go to her burial tomorrow. But so is he.

However, he has an unseen problem: SY.

He’s surprised when she tells him that she’s planning to come to the wedding right after she finishes her work. Of course she’s invited. Eun Young likes her a lot. But there’s no way he lets her come and see the whole fiasco he’s going to make. Sharply, he orders her not to come.

She’s the only person who puts him on a pedestal when he’s so not deserved that high and revered status. But no matter how undeserved that position is he likes it. As long as she doesn’t see things herself she would be able to justify his actions.

When she argues and keeps questioning why he forbids her to come he is forced to give some explanation.

‘Because I don’t want to loose your respect. Just imagining that I’ll loose it is enough to hurt my fragile heart. So, if your respect for me is declining you have to read that Galapagos novel of yours that I’ve edited and just raise it back up again, okay?!’

Despite his resolution, he does hesitate for a moment in front of her wedding hall. But in the end, he still has to do it. He always knows that he’ll do anything for her. Anything.

It doesn’t take long to locate his victim.

Without any hesitation he runs towards him. Then proceeds to pummel the guy into pulp in front of a full room of witnesses comprise of colleagues, friends, influential people in this industry and reporters from various media.

The wedding is definitely ended. While his fate is still uncertain.

Being handcuffed and hauled to the prison under flashing lights might be the worst
nightmare of famous people. But he who used to shy away from any publicity doesn’t really mind being the centre of attention as that’s exactly what he wants to achieve.

With this kind of news Eun Young’s wedding cancellation wouldn’t be making any front page cover. People are going to be too busy talking and speculating about him and his crazy behaviour.

He only felt a little bit guilty when Eun Young came rushing out and gave him ‘are you out of your mind look’ right before the police car took him down to their station.

Spending the night in jail like a common criminal isn’t that bad either. But seeing the things they put on the net about him has put a damper on his mood. Do they have to put all those ugly pictures in every site? He looks horrible.

Not that he really cares but he still wants to look at least rather decent if not heroic when he’s throwing those punches. He has an image that needs to be preserved after all.

As if on cue that’s when his former secretary comes.

The whole world is pointing their collective fingers at him. But SY seems to be more bewildered than actually understanding what’s really happening. She can’t seem to believe he really did what he did and struggles to find a justification.

Not an easy job to do with those ugly pictures, bad press and malicious rumours which are spreading like wild fire.

‘Why did you do it Sir?’

When he tells her it’s because he needs a lot of money she believes it!

How could she even think that rumour is true? She was his secretary for six months for heaven’s sake! And she said she respects him! He knows she’s far from smart but really!

It’s not his fault for wanting to see how foolish and gullible she really is after that. Who tells her to believe that outrageous rumour? She makes him angry with her stupidity.

So he starts to lament about the only way he could earn a lot of money is by writing a book. The problem is he doesn’t have a plot. If he has one something like her Galapagos’s plot, that would be very helpful.

When she succumbs to his lamentation and tells him that she would give him her plot he become really angry now.

How could she give her Galapagos’s plot away when he already told her never to give it up, not even when someone offers her a large amount of money. And how could she believe everything he tells her so easily? Particularly the part that he’s so helpless that he needs her help to get out of this mess.

He would never come to her for a way out for she could barely think for herself. And this is not a simple matter which could be solved by using her plot. This whole mess is way beyond her capacity and capability.

‘Are you crazy? Do you think I would need a plot from a nobody like you even if I don’t have one? Who do you think you are? Get lost!’

She looks at him with teary eyes and wounded expression while asking why he is like that.

Ah, silly girl. She’s too simple to understand the way his mind works. She has no idea that her stupidity and gullibility has upset him because he’s actually quite proud of her improvement. Hence, he’s looking forward to reading her book somewhere in the very distance future.

When the person who could help him and more than capable enough to deal with any mess he has created comes to visit him, he knows that she’ll handle things like she always does.

Thoroughly, efficiently, effectively. And ruthlessly when the occasion calls for it.

But she doesn’t look like she’s willing to help despite the fact that she brings her lawyer along with her. She’s seething with rage and has been glaring at him from the moment she enters this room.

He has no doubt that she had called him every name she could think of.

When she details the consequences of his action, she paints such grim pictures of his future which tells him why she’s so angry. Her anger isn’t really because he ruined her wedding but mostly because he’s destroyed himself!

He’s extremely glad to learn that aspect. And he doesn’t want to make her worry over him like that. So he reveals the fact that he’s prepared his own safety net just in case.

He informs them that he’s been investigating that bastard publisher for sometimes and has collected some evidences that will bring him down. He will no longer able to do his dirty practices and cheating for quite a long time when the law finishes with him.

The lawyer looks surprise. So does Eun Young. But not for long for she quickly understands what it means.

In confusion her lawyer asks him if he has already prepared a plan to bring down his victim, why did he have to go to this length by using such violence.

Slowly while looking at Eun Young, he lets her lawyer know he did what he did because he’s a bastard and an asshole.

He knows what Eun Young will do when she tells her lawyer to leave them alone. But he’s still a little bit scared. He’s been counting on the fact that her anger won’t last long and once her anger subsides her very strong sense of honour would come to the surface and safe him this inevitable moment.

The whole world might be clueless of the reason behind his action, but the three of them know why he did what he did. Eun Young might be able to pretend that she doesn’t know why he comes back to Korea before, but now she could no longer pretend that she wants to marry JW when she knows that he already knows.

And after seeing what he did for her she’ll know that for him there’s nothing more important in this world than her. She who always doubts his sincerity and love for her would understand his action much better than a thousand declaration of eternal love.

Yet, even knowing all that she still orders him to say why he did what he did in plain words. Not that he blames her. She deserves to hear it all after all these years. After what he put her through. After all his lies.

So he tells her.

He tells her that he did it because he didn’t want her to marry JW not when she wasn’t even sure whether she would be happy. The wedding must be stopped because if she didn’t love JW, it’ll be her death sentence.

But he understands she couldn’t stop the wedding herself, so he did it for her. It was his fault after all that she decided to marry JW. That’s why he ruined her wedding like that.

He couldn’t just grab her hand and take her away for that would definitely ruin her and he doesn’t want that to happen. And loving him as much as she does he knows that she would also be hurt if he completely ruins himself in the process.

That’s why he needed a justification for his horrible act. And he found his guy.

He isn’t sorry that he beat that bastard. Not even when his action was captured by the cameras and released for the whole world to see, with him described as a crazy, drug induced, gambling addict.

It’s his way of showing her that he’s being completely honest with her.

He’s declaring his feelings for her in front of the whole world which he never did before. It’s his way of saying he loves her more than anything. He did what he did because he really loves her.

Looking her straight in the eyes he tells her the words that he never says.

'I love you.'

Silence meets his declaration. No I love you too. No sigh of happiness. No excited giggles. No joyous laughter. She just sits there quietly. Focusing her whole attention on him. There’s only a slight movement at the corner of her mouth that indicates her feelings.

But her beautiful eyes say it all.

They shines with so much love that he feels he could sit there just like that basking in that love for eternity. Every cell in his body blossoms under that warm loving gaze.

In that moment there’s only the two of them. Happy together in their own private world. The world that they lived in from time to time when they were together but never really occupied for longer than a few moments.

He knows his fight is over. It’s her turn now. She’ll do her part of fighting for their happiness.

She might be willing to pretend that she’s happy with her marriage for the sake of everyone else, but that was because she thought they had no future together. Always a sensible person she’s willing to make an attempt to create another future with another man.

But now that she knows how much he really loves her….....

Eun Young might be a softie but she doesn’t get where she is by being soft. She’s where she’s because she’s able to make a tough decision. Now that she realizes she’s making a huge mistake he has no doubt she’ll rectify it.

After she knows for sure that she’ll regret her decision for the rest of her life she would cancel the wedding. There’s no way she’ll choose JW over him after she knows how much he loves her. JW might be hurt for awhile, but she knows that he Lee Jin Soo wouldn’t be able to live without her.

Besides, she loves him too. Just as much. She has endured all the pains caused by him because she really loves him and wanted to give him what he wanted. But now that she knows all that he ever wants is her.....

Poor JW. He actually feels sorry for the guy. However, the one who’s deeply and irrevocably in love with Eun Young is him not JW. The one who can’t live without her is him not JW.

JW will move on to another beautiful woman as soon as one who appeals to him crosses his path, but he, Lee Jin Soo would never be able to forget Eun Young nor love another woman for the rest of his life.

So when JW came and vented his anger at him he took it without a fight. He had no idea what Eun Young said to JW or how she delivered her decision but she did deliver it.

He’s too happy to be bothered by just a few beating although besides delivering punches JW was also throwing some threats his way.

But when Eun Young hears what JW had done to him she comes to his defences instead and said JW was hurt and it’s his pain which drove him to say the things he said and did what he did. That he’s actually a good person.

It’s the first time he hears her saying how good JW really is. It surprises him a little because when it comes to JW they are always of the same opinion.

But then again, if JW is really that bad Eun Young would never consider to marry him in the first place. Or loved him once. Nor would he ever introduce him to Eun Young.

But that’s all in the past. The past doesn’t really matter anymore. It’s time for their future!

Their contract used to be his only security. When he thought they couldn’t be together the knowledge that they were bound legally by their contract helped to ease his mind.

This time around he’ll make sure that this one is going to bind them for a life time.

‘Should we sign for 30 books? If I finish one book every two years, I would have to write for 60 years.’

When she teases him that he shouldn’t be that enthusiastic about signing 30 books with her, because from now on she’s going to keep a very close eye on him so that he wouldn’t be able to run away from her, he feels like he’s just won a lottery.

‘Let’s shake hands to celebrate our new contract.’

When he takes her hand in his and slides a ring into her finger, he finally understands why people are so keen on doing this kind of silly gesture.

Because silly it may be, but it does represent a lifetime commitment which he promises and gives to Eun Young. And her acceptance of the ring represents her own commitment to him.

Her smile when he tells her to come to him on the Christmas Eve makes him wish he could fast forward the time. For the very first time in his entire life he feels this kind of happiness. An unadulterated one.

He's used to be happy whenever he’s close to her but his happiness was also accompanied by pain. But this new happiness is so heady, so surreal. So heavenly.

With that kind of feelings he comes to say goodbye to his former secretary. Completely forgetting that she once said that she likes him.

But when she congratulates him for his life time contract while trying not to cry he belatedly remembers and apologises.

When she cries her heart out he feels really sorry for her but there’s nothing he could do to ease her pain.SY has to deal with it herself and he suspects she could deal with it much better than what her cry depicts.

He’s not saying that he doesn’t believe her when she told him that she likes him. After all on the surface he has everything that would make it really easy for women to like him. He’s good looking, brilliant, famous, rich and has a very good manner.

She might like him. Perhaps loves him too. But her love isn’t the kind of love that he feels toward Eun Young.

He doesn’t know whether SY is capable of experiencing that kind of love or whether she’ll ever find someone who’s capable of making her feel that way. But at the moment she’s not at that point yet.

So, he lets her cry and slowly sips the coffee she’s made for him.

Her coffee is no longer that bad but it still doesn’t suit his taste. However, he’s going to finish it to let her know that despite her imperfection he’s willing to acknowledge her effort and improvement.

And that means he values her as a person. As someone who is important enough to be respected as oppose to how he’d treated her before.

And when he gives her the return tickets to Galapagos, it’s to tell her that he has high hope for her and that he trusts her to be able to fulfil his high expectation of her.

In return his very loyal former secretary tells him that she thinks he’s done the right thing in his fight for love.

Everyone blames him for what he did including Eun Young. Although he doesn’t regret what he did but even with his rather loose sense of right and wrong he knows that what he did wasn’t completely right.

But, it’s nice to know that there’s someone who’ll always think good of him no matter what.

When she asks whether she’s the best secretary that he’s ever had, he doesn’t need time to answer it.

She’s definitely the best secretary that he’s ever had. Although it has to be noted that he’s only had one secretary. But, yes, she really is the best. He couldn’t imagine anyone else in her place.

Just like he couldn’t imagine any woman replacing Eun Young’s place in his heart.

As always just the thought of her brings that unadulterated happiness in spades. He doesn’t know what are the good deeds that he’s done that makes him deserve her, for sometimes he still can hardly believe that she’s finally his. But he’s eternally grateful.

On the day of their rendezvous he doesn’t even hear or see her coming, but somehow he could feel her presence. And when he turns around and sees her standing there outside his room all smiling, his heart sings with joy and he knows that from that moment on he’ll have a new life. A very different one from what he’d experienced before.

This is definitely not ‘A Dark Start’, for everywhere he looks all that he can see is this wonderful bright light that points him into her direction, where he could see an equally bright light that full of love shines from her eyes.

No matter what happens in the future he knows one thing for sure. They will be together, forever. Through the good and bad times. Together. Always.


Anonymous said...

This must be pipit. Great stuff as always.

Pipit said...

Yeah, it's me. Thanks ^-^

Anonymous said...

Oh, I just read the latter half and I forgot how beautiful it is. I'll finish it tomorrow. Thanks so much - it's hard to forget the EunSoo love.

Pipit said...

Very true. Their relationship is quite unique.

This particular drama has turned me into a fan of Kang Ji Hwan and an admire of Park Shi Yeon.

Love them both (EunSoo)

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