I don’t think I’m ever this bored before. Everyone seems to have something great to do. My best friends are doing their business trips. Some go to other provinces together and the other go to Australia and won’t be back till the end of the month. And by the end of the month my boss will also go to Darwin and Perth. It makes me feel like I want to go somewhere too when I actually don’t.
By next week, we’re sending all of our staff to other provinces all over the country. I could go wherever I want if I want to travel too. But although I like the idea of being somewhere else I have no fond for things that relate to a trip.
Not to mention the fact that I’d probably end up chairing a meeting when the Provincial people invite all the Districts people to come over. Or having a formal talk with the head of our Provincial office. Nope. Not fun at all. Moreover, I hate flying and the time differences that necessitate me to wake in the very wee hour.
I know that my boredom has nothing to do with lack of things to do. Because although the 16 -17 working hours have ended and I’m finally back to my normal working hours which are about 11 hours a day there’s still pressing job to be done.
It’s almost impossible for my job to come to a complete full stop for thing has always come up on top of each other.
At this moment, I have to check one of our financial reports. It’s about 100 pages and full of incorrect figures and graphics. Is that why I’m feeling bored?
Nah….now everything about financial reports should only give me thrill and make me glow with happiness for our hard work has paid off incredibly well. We’ve finally got the coveted unqualified opinion for the first time ever!
*jumping up and down, singing and shouting: We’ve got the unqualified opinion!*
Yes, nothing to feel bored at all!
And here’s another reason why I should feel ecstatic instead of feeling this way: I’ve got a brand new car! A totally cool and expensive brand new car!
Indeed, I was ecstatic but only for a short time. I think my father is more excited about this brand new car than me. He postpones his trip to our village in order to see it.
My mother told me that he’s been boasting to his fiends about it even before it comes to our garage. And besides he has another reason to be happy: he’ll be in charge of my other cool car which is only three years old. The car that I never let him touch before now will be his.
Is that why I’m feeling this way? Does it mean it’s not boredom at all? Do I feel restless then? Or unhappy?
The problem is when I’m bored, restless or unhappy I have a tendency to splurge. Come to think of it I do have very bad habits when I’m feeling bad. I either eat a lot or spend a lot!
Wait a minute! I also have tendency to give away a lot of money when I feel the urge to be a good daughter. Didn’t I just spend thousands of US dollars just a couple of months ago for my father? And didn’t I feel the urge to just give him the money last night when he mentioned how expensive he found the cost of the wheel that he bought?
Gosh! I always pay attention to finance. Even way before I become an accountant, okay since I was in the elementary school, I always take a careful note of how much money I have and how much money I spend in a day.
How come I suddenly loose interest in my own finance now? How come I no longer find that spending thousands and thousands of US dollars matter? How come I no longer have the interest to watch my debit and credit?
If this is what a boredom do to me I’m definitely in trouble!
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Is it possible to love something while you’re not happy with it? Is it possible to fall head over heel in love with someone while you’re already madly and irrevocably in love with somebody else?
If I have to answer this question myself I would say no. Not possible at all. When I love I love with my whole heart. There’s no room left for reservation. I wouldn’t be able to love someone/anything else just as much. But 49 Days proves me wrong.
It did what I hate the most in a movie/drama/story. When I say hate I really mean HATE. I hate sad ending with a passion. And I hate it even more when they dare to kill the lead. 49 Days does both without a qualm.
As such I should hate it with everything I’ve got. Yet, I’m unable to hate 49 Days any more than I’m able to hate Damo. I need to talk about Damo a little bit to show the different feelings that these two great dramas evoke from me.
Despite not hating Damo per se I don’t think I could ever forgive Damo’s writer/s for ending it so tragically. If someone told me how it would end I would never watch it. And although I love Commander Hwangbo I couldn’t bring myself to watch Damo for a second time.
I cried so much while watching it. More than an ocean I think. I HATE its ending. There’s no word to describe how much I hate it. So once is more than enough.
But it’s not like that with 49 Days. Yes, I also cried an ocean while watching it. And I might not want to start the painful journey of love that is 49 Days either if I know that it’s going to end up breaking my heart into a million pieces.
The problem was the moment I saw it I started to fall in love with Han Kang or Kang Ah as we all lovingly call him. I love him with the kind of love that I only feel for Lee Jin Soo (Coffee House).
Now, I’ll have to talk about Coffee House too!
Just for your information there are a bunch of crazy ladies out there who are fighting for the right to call Han Kang theirs. But Kang Ah is mine. All mine. Just like Jin Soo is mine Kang Ah is also mine for I’m also going to write him his very own story just like I did for Lee Jin Soo.
Why I love them so is a mystery to me. They have nothing in common. Lee Jin Soo is probably one of the most selfish and crazy male leads ever invented. He lies as easily as he breaths.
In his selfishness he has almost no sense of right or wrong. While Han Kang has a very strong sense of what’s right and what's wrong. And he understands the meaning of sacrificing for other people quite well.
Lee Jin Soo spends years trying to deny how much he loves Soe Eun Yung and tries his hardest to conceal his love from her not to mention leaving her for good. While Han Kang who has loved Shin Ji Hyun for years, makes it his mission to look for her and stays by her side only to be forced to hide his love from her.
However, come to think of it they do have one thing in common. They love intensely, wholeheartedly with every fibre of their beings. No time, norms, separation, marriages, physical appearances nor death could change it. It lasts forever.
Sigh. It’s pretty obvious now why I love them so.
Another thing about 49 Days that makes it different from Damo is the fact that it fills with heart tugging bitter sweet moments and cuteness that no matter how hard it makes me cry I’m helplessly drawn to it.
My love for Han Kang makes me wish so hard for his happiness. And as 49 Days has done an excellent job in letting us know how much he loves Shin Ji Hyun, with her I want him be. She's his happiness. She's the one who makes him happy.
I must confess that in the first few minutes of the first episode I was not taken with Shin Ji Hyun but as the story went I started to see glimpses of the girl she’s supposed to be.
She’s not my usual favourite lead girl. I love female lead who is strong, intelligent, and resourceful and I would love her even more if she has a healthy dose of wickedness that she could use when necessary.
But Shin Ji Hyun is none of that.
She’s far from bright. Far from strong and so used to having people do their best to help her that she is as helpless and as clueless as a baby, and as far as an angel is from the devil when it comes to wickedness. She has no mean streak in her body. Not even a tiny teeny bit. However, slowly but sure I start to love the girl that she is.
I love how 49 Days makes the almost no physical contact between Han Kang and Shin Ji Hyun turns into such touching, poignant, cute and heart breaking scenes. I love how when they are together they try not to say they love the other while exactly saying it.
And I love how Kang Min Ho who betrays Shin Ji Hyun and plots to destroy her family ends up falling in love with her instead without knowing that he has fallen for his very own fiancee who he thought he didn't love at all.
And I utterly love how Han Kang's heart recognises the love of his life despite the fact that Shin Ji Hyun has been declared as good as dead in the complete strange girl he's just met.
49 Days without a doubt is one of the best Kdramas that I’ve ever seen. If only the ending is different it will replace Coffee House as my most favourite drama ever. As it is I love it without really love it.